HUMOUR--- More or Less

Poverty Bay Herald, Volume LXV, Issue 19803, 3 December 1938, Page 7

HUMOUR---More or Less

She: “Sometimes you seem so manly and other times absurdly effeminate. Why is it?” He: “Heredity. You see, half of my ancestors were men and the other half were women.” « * * * Teacher: “What did the Roman soldiers soVnetimes receive as a reward for bravery.” Pupil: “Property.” Teacher: “Give an example.' Pupil: “Horatius kept the bridge." The Lighter Side “There are direct and indirect, taxes. Give me an example of indirect taxation.” “The clog tax, sir.” “How is that?” “The dog does not have to pay.” Likely Symptoms London Magistrate: “What made you think the prisoner was drunk?” Constable: “Well, your worship, he puts a penny in a letter box, then he looks up at Big Ben and says, Good gracious, I’ve gone up two stone.” Well Recommended Boss (interviewing fair applicant for position of typist): Did your last employer .have any fault to find with you? Typist: No, but his wife did. Boss: You’re engaged. Suburban Tragedy He (being diplomatic): I shall miss you terribly when you’re away; in fact, I don’t quite know what I shall do, but— She (being noble): Oh! Very well. I won’t go.

The Boy’s Essay

A school teacher had found her class of boys reluctant in their writing of English compositions. At last she conceived a great idea to stimulate their interest—to write an account of a ball game. It seemed that she was successful. With one exception, the hoys threw themselves at the task and evolved youthful masterpieces. The backward one chewed reluctantly at his pen and was then struck by a burst of genius. When the teacher opened his paper, it read. “Rain, no game.” Thoughtless

Sanderson was on a visit to Simpkins, and, in due course, he was shown the family album.

“Yes,” said Simpkins as the visitor turned the leaves, “that’s my wife’s second cousin’s aunt, Susan. And that’s cousin James, and that—oh, who do you think that is?” “I don’t know,” replied Sanderson. “Well, that’s my wife’s first husband, my boy,” said his host. “Great scot! What a perfectly brainless-looking idiot. But, excuse me, old fellow, I didn't know your wife was a widow when you married her,” said Sanderson. "She wasn’t,” said Simpkins stiffly, “That, sir, is a photo of myself at 20.”