HUMOUR MORE OR LESS

Poverty Bay Herald, Volume LII, Issue 17142, 18 September 1926, Page 10

HUMOUR MORE OR LESS

LOBSTER SALAD.

A lady was sitting next to a doctor at dinner. “Are you fond of lobster-salad, doctor?” she asked. ‘ 1 Not very fond of it, “he answered, “but extraordinarily grateful to it.“

ANOTHER GOLFING JOKE,

I have heard this story so often lately that I suppose I ought to pass it, oil. A Scot was playing u round of golf with his' daughter. “Maggie,” he said, “is to-day yqur birthday? Wool, thcij. I’ll gic ye this hole.”

• * » » GLAD TO BE THERE,

From “Mair Canny' Talcs Fae Aberdeen” (Valentino.): The Minister was paying his yearly pastoral visit. “It gives me great joy, Airs. Brown,” he said, “to see you always in your pew on the Sabbath Day. ” “ 'Deed, sir, ’' was her reply', “I'm real glad to come for ills no’ often I get sic a comfortable seat and sac little to think aboot. ’ ’ * # # % A UNITED FAMILY. An old couple in Scotland, down to their last penny, wrote to their son in America,stating, that if he did hot help them they would'have to go to the poorhouse. Three weeks passed and then came a reply front their son. His letter ran: “Dear Mither and Faither, —Just wait anither fortnight an' I'll come hame an' gang wi' ve.“ ' « * * « A LAST DIG. An American was prowling around a Scottish churchyard. His eyes caught an epitaph, “Lord, she was thin.” , Say, sexton, what d’ye make of that?” ho asked.

“That’s all right, sir; the sculptor went over near the edge of the stone and didna leave room for the *e.' ’’ — London AVcekly Telegraph. # * * » PERSONAL INTEREST. Representative Frear tells a story about Bill, a milkman: ‘ ‘ Ono morning, ’' says Frear, * ‘ Bill's flivver broke down and Bill was buried in the wreckage. “His Sister' Jane, when she summoned the doctor, burst into angry sobs. “ ‘Would you believe it, doctor?’ she sobbed, ‘Bill lay' under all them milk cans, and wheels and things shoutin’ and yellin’ for help for an hour and a half and not a soul in the whole street had heart enough to get out and lend him a hand. Why, we could hear him a block away.' “ ‘lf you heard him, Jane,’ said the doctor, ‘why didn’t you go out?' “ ‘How,’ sobbed Jane, ‘how was we to know it was Bill?’ “ % * • 9 COLLECTING AN ACCOUNT. Recently a New Zealand storekeeper sold out, and as many of his customers had been Maoris ho had several outstanding accounts, the largest of winch was for £2O. owed by ono named Renata. Riding down the road one day the storekeeper met Hone, a friend of Renata.

“Hallo, Hone,” snul - the storekeeper, ‘l’ve sold out,' and Renata owes me twenty pounds. Now, if you can tret that money for me I’ll let you have half.’’

“Oh, yes.’’ said Hone, agreeably. “I collect him orright.’’ It was nearly a year before the storekeeper met Hone again. “Well,’’ he said, “you didn’t manage to get that money out of old Renata.’’

“Oh, yes.” said Hone, “I got the monev all right.” “Well, where’s my share?” demanded the creditor. “Oh. I net. get your share,” said Hone, pleasantly. ‘‘‘l only make Renata pay to share for me!”