HUMOUR MORE OR LESS

Poverty Bay Herald, Volume LII, Issue 17058, 12 June 1926, Page 9

HUMOUR MORE OR LESS

TEN .MINUTES FOR EMOTION. A 'bell-known Sydney artist who I spun I sonic mom Its in Venice tell how I the morning after his arrival lie hired Li gondola in order to see the sights. Having passed under (lie Bridge of ' Sighs, and reached the spot rendered i memorable by the mournful history of ; Marino Ealiero, the gondolier took run • his watch, and politely said: I “We rest ton minutes hove.” With | that lit* lighted his pipe. 1 “What are we waiting for?” asked his fare. “Sir,” replied the gondolier; ‘it is the usual time allowed for emotion and poetic feeling, ” And they waited until the ten minutes wore up. k » * LET THE GROCER DO IT! Billy rushed breathlessly into a grocer’s shop on his way to school. “Two pounds of I-utter at two and three,” lie asked. “Yes, my little man,” said ihe grocer, getting the goods. * ‘ Five pounds of sugar a I llvepeuee a pound,” the lad went on; “two tins of treacle at ninopenee a tin; three !mgs of flour at four and three a bag; six pounds of salt at twopence a lb., and four tilts of jam at a shilling a tin.” Breathlessly the grocer got the various goods. “Now, what does all that lot come to?” asked the youngster. The grocer totalled (he items up, and gnVe tie' lad the result, asking whether he should send the goods. “No,” replied the boy, ns he quickly left tlie shop; “I only wanted to know how much the things cost. That is the sum teacher gave us to do for our homework, and f couldn’t work it out. Thanks!”

* # *■ -3 READY FOR HIM

He was not a good card player, and it was only after much pressure that ho rook a hand. After a particularly glaring error, his partner turned upon him in real anger. “Whv don’t you follow nty lead?” he asked. The novice said nothing. Then, in the next hand, his partner threw down his cards in desperation. “Look here!” lie cned, “Didn’t; .you see me call for a spado or a club. Have you no black suit?” “Yes, 1 have,” retorted the other; “but. I’m keeping it for your funeral ! ’ ’ * -X- *■ * A SOFT ANSWER. “Does voh love me, really love me, Sambo, or does voh jus’ think voh does ! ’’ “Ah really loves voh, Man fly-—but All ain’t done no thiukun vet.” flr * fr it SEIZING THE OPPORTUNITY. Tlie ship was doomed. Everybody was on deck waiting for the order to take to the bonis. Suddenly, above the storm and the' voice of the captain rose the cry of an anxious man: — “T.s. there anybody here n't all that wants to . liny a, gold watch and chain?” > ■» ■» • THE LORD TAKF.TTI AWAY. “Surely. Miranda, you're not going to marry again when the Lord just took your fourth husband.” asked Mrs. Smilh. “Yes, T shuli am.” replied Miranda. “As long a.i do Lord takes ’em so will