How Sam Trained his Wife.

Poverty Bay Herald, Volume X, Issue 2026, 15 September 1883, Page 2 (Supplement)

How Sam Trained his Wife.

In a Boston restaurant, at dinner recently, sat a man from Cambridge, who was a native of New Hampshire. Meeting an old acquaintance from that indefinite section known as " down east," the conversation soon turned on family topics, and the pair began to talk about their former neighbors in a moat familial 1 way. " Yes,' ; remarked the Cambridge gentleman, " Sam was in many respects different from the rest of the boys. You remember who he married ? Well, when the old man, his father, found that he was shinin' round with her, he called him one day in the barn and said : ' Sam, d'ye intend to marry Beckie ? ' Sam never said a word, so the old man said : 'Me boy, ye know all about them. I can't tell you nothin'. Ye know how the sisters has turned out, and not one of them is now livin' with their husbands. Sam was as mum as a pantomime, and, just as 3oon as he was ready, him and Bcekie got tied. They lived on a farm, and everything went on smooth for about a year, and it came to hog butcherin' time. Sam got already to have the usual party for the occasion, and, just as he was sharpeniu' up the knives, Beckie came out and said : ' Sam, I'm going homo.' Sam protested in his quiet way, but it was no use, so ho said he'd gat a man to row her across the pond. It was about half a mile over. She. said : *No, ye won't ; ye'U row me over yerself.' Sum told her he couldn't, and Beckie fired up and said : ' Then I'll drown mesenV Sam said he'd go with her if she wanted to do that, so the boat was got ready, she got in, and they rowed out till the water was twenty feet deep. Then Bam stopped and said ' Well, Beckie, this is a good place for ye to drown yerself ! ' She didn't open her mouth. He waited awhile and then said : ' Oome, Bcclde, I'm in a hurry to get back.' She never looked up. Sara put down the oara, caught hold of her and pitched her in. She grabbed for the boat, but he wouldn't let her git near it. When she was almost done out she said : ' Sam, let me in that boat and yell not hear anything more from me out o' the way.' So he pulled her in and they went back home. She changed her clothes and entertained the guests. They're now nearly 80, and you never saw a happier old couple — did you ? I don't think they ever spoko of that duckin' since the day she was goin' to drown herself." — Detroit Free Press.