JOSH BILLINGS' PHILOSOPHY.

Poverty Bay Herald, Volume VI, Issue 899, 20 September 1879, Page 2

JOSH BILLINGS' PHILOSOPHY.

I envy the man who kan set down and make a happy dinner off from filtered rane water and biled roots, but i don't hanker for thoze kind ov vittles miself. Mankind are all m search ov happiness and the world is full ov it, but the reazon whi so fu find it iz bekauze they they don't know what happiness iz when they see it. When a man cums to me for advice, i find out the kind ov advice he wants, and i giv it to him ; this satisfys him that he and I are two az smart men az there iz living. ** ■Affektashun allwuss shows a man's weak points, for what a man affekts to have he haz generally got the least ov. Afflickshurn iz a good skool : it reduces a man's impudense, strenthens his faith, increases hiz humility, and pumpß the pride and vanity out ov him. Az a general thing, thoze who are most afrade to die are thoze who hay done the world the least good while living. # "He who kan amuze and-instrukt at the same time iz a philanthropist az well az a philosopher — sugar-coated pills are az usefull for the soul az for the boddy. Probably a good definishun ov a proverb would be — a sentance that haz the most truth m the fewest words. Gunning men allwuss git beat m the long run, bekauze they are just az dull on one side az they are sharp on the other. Cheerfullnesß not only lengthens a man's days, but sweetens them. The man who laffs at everything, iz the hardest kind ov a man to kill, and dies game when he duz die.