EDITOR'S WALLET.

Otago Witness, Issue 2985, 31 May 1911, Page 82

EDITOR'S WALLET.

Not Sufficient Kait. . Hero is the remorseless logic of child ■ .hood. ,_,, '•Why was the world drowned.' Tiny Mite (triumphantly): Cause, teadber, it couldn't float!" . . '•How do you suppose they filled up tneir .time in the- ark?" Little Follow (tentatively): Fish in ! Other Little Fellow "Couldn't! There were only two worms!

Where They BJet. Of the two man standing at a street corner, one was ei that type always aching to display their smartness. "Watch me tako a rise out of him!" he muttered to his companion as a ragged old tramp hove in sight, and started to recite the usual tale of pathos. "Why, that's not the same story you told mo last time you accosted me," said the brainy one, when the vagrant had run down. The latter looked at him in sorrowful silence for a moment. Then ho asked : "Mcbbo not —niebbe not! But I don't remember speaking to you. When was it?" "Last weak." "That explains it. I'd forgotten meeting you," was the tramp's quiet retort. "I was in prison all last week" Of Course. "Will you allow me to ask you a question?" interrupted a man in the audience. "Certainly, sir," Taid the lecturer. "You have given us a lot of figures about immigration, increase of wealth, the growth of trusts, and all (that," said the man. "Let's eee what you know about figures yourself. How do you find the greatest common divisor?" Slowly and deliberately the orator took a glass of water. Then he pointed hi« 3 finger straight at the questioner. Lightning idaahed from his eyes, and he replied in a voice that made the gas 'jets quiver: "Advertise for it, you ignoramus I" The audience cheered and yelled and stamped, and the wretched man who had asked the question crawled out of the hail a total wreck. An Every-day Affair. The front door slammed with a bang. For the first time during- their entire three months of married life he left without kissing her good-bye, and tears shone in the young wife's eyes. "Brit-get," she asked an hour later, after having wreaked 'her vengeance by ordering cold hash, "did you happen to hear my husband and me ocnversinrr rather —seriously this morning?" "A word or two did drop through the kitchen ceiling," admitted Bridge*. "Of course," said ithe young wife haughtily, "you didn't think anything unusual was going on?" "Never a bit. mum!" answered Bridget, with a reassuring "Oi wanst had a husband meiself, :'.n' niver a day passed that the neighbours didn't believe one or other uv us would be kilt entoirely!" An Option on Gladys. Gladys Helen Montague, her transparent red-gold hair glittering in the- sunlight, sat at a mahogany desk writing her answer to Reginald Fitzmaurice's proposal. Gladys' i calligraphy was of the style which makes three characters perform the duty of 26. In reply came: "My Dearest Girl, —Your answer has made* mo the happiest man in the* world. How did I dare to 'hope that you would stcop to bless such as I? I pray that I may be worthy of you, my darling-. I long to press you to my heart.—Thine, Reginald." "My Dear Miss Montague,—On Wednesday I start en a tour round the world. If at any time you should change your mind a word from you will bring me to your side. My letters will be fonvarcled from my dhib. —Faithfully yours, REGINALD FITZMAURTCE." "Dear Gladys, —After a sleepless night spent in the vain endeavour to decipher your note, I have written these two answers. Will you kindly return immediately the one which does not fit? _ I cannot stand this strain. —Your anxious Reginald."