Quickly Recovered.

Otago Witness, Issue 2651, 4 January 1905, Page 77

Quickly Recovered.

He is a chronic coinplaincr, is Mr Ginnis; also an amateur hypochondriac His' health is bis god, and never was the god more faithfully worshipped. He came home one, night . recently convinced that he was mortally sick with ~ acute pneumonia. Mrs Ginnis, a wholesome, cheerful body, had tad too -much experience, -however, with Jus aouto attacks of divers deadly, diseases — fvery acute, for, they always disappearedbefore morning — to" be seriously, alarmed. -So "she ' placidly compounded . 'af "" strong. mustard : piaster, and, getting - him. to beo, applied it- tp the -cliest. " After^ grumbling himself ' tired Mr' Ginnis fell - asleepr and his jwife" followed suit, convinced- that the crisis' of the trouble" had' been passed; fl "Oh, oh, oh!" groaned Mr Ginnis, waking tis"wife in the early morning. -i • "What is now?", demanded that ' lady, somewhat* impatiently; "because of her dis- I turbed slumbers. "My heart, my heart !"' gasped her .husband. "Have you lost it?" asked his wife, sleepily. ' . "I -have always known that' hearts disease,, ■would kill .me, in spite- of what that fool" of "a doctor says," continued Ginnis, bitterly. "Oh, I'm dying N I know I'm dying!"' "What ,can I do for you, dear?" asked Mrs Ginnis, prepared for' anything, from getting him a drink to going for the doctor and minister. "Nothing. I'm beyond human help!" he replied, -with many groans and ejaculations. "All you - can do is to watch me.pass away in fhis frightful^_agony. Oh, my | heart ! A hundred- knives are cutting at it, a thousand pangs are piercing it, a million flames are consuming it! You will find my will in my desk; and mind, you get nothing if you marry again. Oh, oh, how it burns wid scorches I - Thank Heaven I> prepared,-- and don't forget I paid the pew rent, yesterday, and Deacon Doust proto send the receipt last night. Ligh! . TJghF I'm on fire I I'm holocaust! I'm a conflagration !" -Mrs Ginnis began to laugh as a dawningidea of the real trouble rose in -her mipd. "Laugh, woman!" shouted the sufferer, „ clawing at the bedclothes in an ecstacy" of fear pain, and- rage. "Lauffh, falsefemale, at the mortal agonies of him -you-'pre'tend to love; -Laugh, fiend, not' female;, laugh and gloat safely,' 'for in ; . a -moment I shall lie dead, and no one can bear witness to the 'tortures you- have added "to the lurid pangs of- dissolutions Oh/ my heart, my heart! How it burns and consumes within' me ! The unquenchable fire, the ". -- "Tut, tut, Ebenezer!" remonstrated Mrs Gmnis, checking her mirth. "I laughed because I know -what's wrong. That mustard plaster has slipped down, over your heart:" ' ■ - An immediate investigation proving' ihe correctness of this theory, Mr Ginnis now ta^gs it as an insult to be asked! the symptoms of heart disease.