Snail Courtesies in Home life. By C. L. Galdner.

Otago Witness, Issue 2516, 4 June 1902, Page 62

Snail Courtesies in Home life. By C. L. Galdner.

A man or woman's good 1 (reeding 1 is the best surety against another's bud manners. — Lord Chesterfield.

Temperance in speech is no less a virtue than self-restraint in any other direction. Our conversation bears so important a part in social intercourse, and some attempt is made at it whenever we meet our friends, "tis strange -we are not more proficient in this art. In the home circle, however, too much is often taken for granted, and the graces of true politeness are sometimes entirely dispensed with. The charm of agreeable conversation is appreciated by all, its cultivation is within the reach of everyone, and we may be our own teachers. Nothing so quickly opens hospitable doors or shows a warm welcome. Entertaining conversation does not depend so much upon a wellstored mind, a ready wit or a broad culture, but shows qualities of heart as well as of head, and should reveal sympathy, sincerity, and simplicity.

Sympathy and adaptability are in a measure created by a desire to please ; but it is not merely from a desire to please in society that good manners should be studied ; but front'-tlie wish to consider the feelings of other people. "Manners" includes courtesy to all, patience under severe strain, and a calm and modest personality. We must be sensitive to the mood of our listeners, and quick to perceive when someone else wishes to speak. There are talkers who seem to take the bit between their teetli and run a^vay "with it. When they do finally cease, the subject is so exhausted that no one else has cinything to say.

The common defect of the talkative woman is the habit of repeating the same statement several times during a single conversation. Whether she suspects you of deafness, stupidity, or inattention* ib is hard to say ; but she will inform you five or ten times in an hour that her children, were all born very clever ; or, that she is extremely nervous ; or, that she never eats porridge ; etc., etc.

Without simplicity no conversation has any chnrm. The moment we perceive that the speaker is trying to produce an effect, that moment do we feel contempt for the affectation and pretence. Truth has a marvellous power of making itself felt, no matter what may be said or done ; and frankness is admired by every honest man or woman.

The qualities which -put us in wrong posi- > tions towards life, and cause much unhap* •piness, are selfishness, vanity, and a desire for popularity or public favour. We all know people whom we may not come near ■without feeling that to interest them we must pay tribute to their vanity, or "limit our conversation that it may please them or pander to- their conceit.

Another class equally disagreeable are those that censure everything, and attempt to belittle the efforts or remarks of everyone else, that their own virtues may shine in comparison.

Happiness lies in self-forgetfulness, and to secure it we must cheerfully accept the conditions of our lot, hope lor the best, have faith in the future, and try to do all ■we car for ourselves and those about us without looking to consequences. It is the natural reward of right living, and shows itself in breadth of character and broad charity towards all.

Self-consciousness is but vanity under a less severe name, and self must be forgotten before we can add to our peech the grace and dignity of simplicity. Dignity is the chief charm of woman, lust as constitutional brightness is her chief accomplishment.

Gossip has gone out of fashion. It is no longer considered nice to s-y a word against any one. An ill-natured remark is a social blunder as well as a moral one in good society. We should not allow lapses of manners or levity, and, above all, the careless expression of- a low grade of thought.

To be able to say a few kind words is an accomplishment any of us may acquire. Even exchanges of civilities cement friendship. True culture carries with it an atmosphere of breadth : the world, and not the village. Women more than men are in danger of becoming narrow ; women lacking breadth are said to betray, by their conversation, minds of narrow compass ; bounded on the north by the children, on the south by their servants, on the east or their ailments, and on the west by their clothes. The mind grows narrow when occupied with trifles. When ignorant of our ignorance, we do not know when we betray ourselves.

To sum up the matter : we should never lose sight of the fact that we are likely to be failures unless we are good comrades. Our friends and neighbours should be able t ) rely on us for qualities of fidelity, faithfulness and affection, which make life worth, living. To be over-sensitive, to be rude in reply or contradicting in disposition, is to be altogether unfitted for comradeship ; and the good comrade has something to add to the common fund: some fun, some fancy, some bit of song, and thus the days go on in brightness, and tfobody minds if the road be rough. If you wish for kindness, be kind ; If you wish for truth, be true ; All that you give of yourself, you find; Yoiu world is a. reflex of you.

It "Will Xot Do to fool with a bad cold. No one can tell what the end will be. Pneumonia, catarrh, chronic bronchitis, and consumption invariably result from • a neglected cold. As a medicine for the cure of colds, coughs, and influenza, nothing can compare with Chamberlains Cough Remedy. It always cures and cures quickly* All