SNARLS.

Otago Witness, Issue 2389, 14 December 1899, Page 62

SNARLS.

Said the Boer unto the Briton: ''I'm quite good enough for you. You are getting rather old and done, And your life is nearly through ; . I can shoot the springbok on the run ; I liave beaten you before ' And will try the game once more. It makes rue grin to see you smarting at my fun' John! John! you are an awkward fellow with a gun!" Said the Briton to the Boer : "You. wait ; 1 sometimes have the knack of hitting straight." Said the Kaiser to the Briton: "You have got the strongest fleet, I've the biggest army: let me see — "Would it not .be rather neat If I und Gott — no, you, I mean — Walked into all the rest, And fixed the thing up clean? Ach ! they'd have to give it best, And Alsace and Lorraine could take a needed rest." Said the Briton to the Kaiser : "Just hold on — Upon that little point I'd rather not be drawn." Said the Magyar to the Briton : "You will get enough to do: The mauser-shcoting Dutchman Has tho art of aiming true. He is not a naked savage To try on the maxim plan. John! John! my dear, I sadly fear You'll not score another Omdurman: You'll find the sun-dried Boer not a cur, man!" Said the Briton to this "Mag." : "Hold on ! Or a broken reed for a staff you may lean upon." Said the Bear unto the Briton : "You have got the loan of me — You're a war or two ahead as it is! You add acre unto acre — yes, I see, John, you are an old hand at the biz. When your hands are •occupied I might grab the Himalayan ; But the point is" (hero he sighed) "But the point is — Could I stay? — ah!" Said the Briton to the Bear: "Go slow; We both could work together, don't you know?" Said the Frank unto the Briton : ''You have the happy knack Of wamping on poor devils' toes; I'm glad you've got "lit back; You'll got no Fa=hoda on — I'd shri'-k and yell with glee To find your Empire gone. Your hated flag all round ihe globe I see But I've Dreyfus and the Exhibition on, And that' 3 what troubles me." Said the Briton unto Frank: "I'm there; Just please yourself when you begin, and where." Said the Chips to the old Block: "We are ready, Father John ; We, too, can give a nasty knock — We'll not sco you put upon. We're all Empires — every one — You're the daddy of them all; We're ready, every mother's soji, — By you we stand or fall — One Eniphe, Queen, and language suits us all." Said the old Block to the Chips: "You'll do; With you — and Uncle Sam — I'll see it through." LITTLE JIMMY. Southland, November, 1899. — Three thou&and women spend their live 3 in driving and steering the canal boats in southern and midland England. Advice to Mothers! — Are you broken in your rest by a .sick child suffering with the pain of cutting teeth ? Go at once to a chemiat and get a bottle of Mra Winslow's Soothing Syeup. It will relieve the poor sufferer immediately. It is perfectly harmless, and pleasant to the taite; it produces natural, qiiiet sleep by relieving the child from pain, and the little cherub awakes "as bright as a button." It socthes the child, it toftens the gums, '-Hays all pain, relieves wind, regulates the bowsis, and 13 the best known remedy for dysentery and diarrhoea, whether arising from teething or other causes. Mrs Winslow's Soothing Syrup is sold by medicine dealers every wlie-re at Is J jd per Jyotfcle.— Ap.vi