Worth Nothing.

Otago Witness, Issue 2253, 6 May 1897, Page 52

Worth Nothing.

A certain business man noticed in the progress of years that each successive bookkeeper gradually lost his health and finally died of consumption, however vigorous and robust he was on entering his service. At length it occurred to him that the little rear room where the books were kept faced a back yard so surioundcd bj r high walls that no sunshine c&tne into it from one yearn end to another. An upper room, well lighted, was immediately prapared, and his clerks had uniform good health ever after.

A familiar cisc to general readers is derived from medical works. An entire family became ill, and all remedies seemed to fail of their usual results, when accidentally a window glass of the family room waa broken in cold weather. It was not repaired, and forthwith there was a marked improvement in the health of the inmate?. The physician &t once traced the connection, discontinued his medicines, and ordered thafe the window pane should not be replaced. The lung 3of a dog become tubenmlated (consumptive) in a few weeka if he is kept confined in a dark cellar. The most common plant grows fcpind'y, pale, and straggling if no sunlight falie upon it. From these facts we cannot but conclude that apart m en t3 into which the sun does uob immediately shine should never bs occupied as family rooms or as libraries or studies. A Woman's Trust. He was glib of Gpeech anrl good-looking, and when did these ever fail to win when tha winning was a woman ? There is but one answer to this conundrum. Sand in your answers early. The girl loved him with that foolish infatuation which paaseth understanding. The less worthy he became, the more her devotion grew. The young man didn't do anything to encourage it, either — he simply appeared on the scene. It was ever thus. In time stories came to her ears, and she told him how she disbelieved every one of them. Xhey said he wouldn't pay his debts, but she knew better, for had she not divided her allowance with him for this very purpose ? Indeed, she had, and she told her papa a story about it. Oae day he had a long talk with her over his troubles, and she did what she could to brace him up. " It's enough," he said, "if you trust me ! " " I do, Reginald ; I do," she murmured, "and ■will always truat you." " Would to heaven, "he cried, " that you were my landlady," and he folded her to his throbbing bosom. Half an hour laber he was trying to sneak his trunk out of the back window ot his lodgings. Ocean Telephony. The following interview with Thomas A. Edison is taken from the New York Herald. Mr Edison was first asked : " If you were backed by a 10,000,000d0l syndicate, would you undertake to construct a practical working telephone across the Atlantic Ocean ? " " It is impossible," he replied. "Thare i 3 a Russian who has telephoned under 10 miles of water, and wbo claims that he can easily telephone acrosß the Atlantic ocean. He is being backed by a-syndicate, and it is said that work will shortly be commenced on a submarine telephone cable." Mr Edison figured a little, and said : " The difficulty of telephoning increases according to the square root of the distance. He telephoned 10 miles under water, did he ? Well, he must have had some little trouble. At 10 miles his difficulties are, we will say, one. -At 20 his difficulties would be four. Then they would run up as follows : At 40 miles... 16 times as hard At 80 miles... 64 times as hard At 160 miles ... 256 times as hard At S2O milea ... 1024 times as hard At 6 M miles ... -1096 times as hard At 1280 miles ... 18,384 times a3 hard At 2560 miles ... 65,53 d times as hard. "This is about the distance across the Atlantic ocean. Now, if that Russian can overcome a job 65,000 times as hard as telephoning under 10 miles of water, he may possibly telephone across the Atlantic ocean. It is not a question of battery, but of leakage and the overcoming of resistance and the impossibility of getting rid of the current at the moment the voica ceasei. Such a distance, especially such a submarine distance, affords entirely too clumsy a channel for the quick and variable current necessary to a telephone wire. As I said before, it is not a question of battery. Why, with the battery now on the Atlantic cable I can run a fan motor at either end. At the same time the speed of the motor could not be varied quickly enough to make its starting and stopping a matter of a. few seconds. Taking these things into consideration, I am afraid the eminent Russian has a heavy job ahead of him. If I could erect poles three miles high I would undertake to telephone around the earth. As you approach the earth, however, the difficulties increase greatly, and they are of such a nature that I am afraid they can never be overcome — at least, not with present human intelligence." Crotchets and Quavers. At a recent sale at the Hotel Drouot the manuscript of the opera " Guillaume Tell," ib Rossini's own hand writing, realised the sum of 4-700fr or £188 sterling. The high price paid for the MS. led the writer to make some investigations con--cerning the prices composers receive for their work originally, with the following result : — Probably the £10,000 Sir Arthur Sullivan is credited to have received in royalties for " The lost chord " is the highest price received for an individual number ; but what the publishers have netted over this eminently popular song must be left to the imagination, as no figur«3 are extant, though, judging from the usual proportion that a royalty bears to the net profits, the sum must be a great one, and even greater than S the £15,000 which they are said to have realised

from the original investment of £15 to the author (M. Trotere) of " In old Madrid.". There are not many pianoforte players, we imagine, who have not afc some time in their lives embarked on Mr William Smallwood'a composition^ "The fairy barque." This piece was written in 1873, and the composer received sgß for it ; in 1890 the copyright was sold for £1000 ; but far from becoming leas valuable as time goes on and the years the copyright holds good become shorter, a few months ago the piece was knocked down for £1810 10s. At the same sale " In the gloaming," by Lady Arthur Hill, brought a bid of £9* 12b, and "Sea maidens," by J. S. Roeckel, £107 16s. At a still more recenb sale we find Mr Scott Gatty's "True till death" bringing its owner £640, whilst •» The powder monkey," by Mr MichaelWatson, fetched £380. Not bad for a few crotchets and quavers ! Sir Arthur Sullivan can command- £700 for a"' song nowadays, but there was a time when he let his immensely popular "Hush thee ! my baby "' go into a publisher's keeping in return for a £5 note. "Other lucky purchases for the publishers are "Some day," for which Mr Milton Wellings received lOgs and the publishers about £10,000, and the same composer's "Golden love," for which Bga were given, and probably £8000 in all realised from the profits. He Learnt Wisdom. He had been away on a business journey for quite a long time, and had brought his wife a handsome fan on his return. " It's just perfectly lovely, Harry," she said. " It's the daintiest and most beautiful fan I ever saw." " I'm glad you like it," he returned, with evident gratification. "How could I help liking anything so pretty? "'she asked ; and then she added, with a Bigb, " I only wish I could carry it gometimes." " Why can'fc you ?" he demanded. "No dress to go with it," she answered promptly. " There ought to be a dress to match, or at least one that wouldn't lcok shabby besido it, if " She gob the dress. He kicked himself for two days, and ever afterwards he made a point of bujiog fans to .match what she already pesaeased. A Musicale. The programme, she informed me, was a charming one indesd. From tbe splendid Wagner overture (which nothing could exceed) To the lovely little scherzo and the minuet for strings. And the latest bit of Dvorak, which made her sigh for wing?. Throughout the Grieg concerto her emotion was intense ; It seemed to me at times she held her breath in deep suspense.; She raved ot Opu3 this and that, of Schubert, Bach, and Liszt, Beethoven, Brahms, Tschaikowski, and a score whose names I missed. But when at last 'twas over, and I led her down the stair, 1 noticed that beneath her breath Bhe hummed a little air ; It waa not upon the programme, being commonplace and tuney, And I wondered at the sudden drop from Bach to . "Annie Rooney." Somnambulists' Freaks. A well-known physician gives an account of ; an Iriah gentleman who swam more than two miles dorm » river, got ashore, and was subsequently discovered sleeping by the roadside, altogether unconscious of the extraordinary feat he had accomplished. Professor Fischnell, of Bale, writes of a young student of Wurtemburg who used to play hide-and-seek while fast asleep. His fellow students knew of his propensity, and when he began " walking," threw bolsters at him, which he always eluded, jumping over bedsteds and other obstacles placed in his way. A gentleman was once discovered at 1 o'clock in the morning in a neighbour's garden engaged in prayer, evidently under the»impression that he was in church, but otherwise in a deep sleep. . A young girl given to sleep-talking was in the habit of imitating the violin with her lips, giving the preliminary tuning and scraping and flourishing with the utmost fidelity. It puzzled her physician a great deal until he learnt that when an infant the girl lived in a room adjoining a fiddler, who often performed upon his instrument within her hearing. A Bicycle Made for Two Thousand. , The bicycle built for two created a sensation not long ago. The bicycle built tor 2000 is the latest novelty. It is to be the great attraction of the Paris Exposition of 1900, and will bo the largest bicycle ever built. This monater wheel will ba 2000 times as large as an ordinary bike, and constructed after the manner of the Eiffel Tower. There are to be two large entrances — ane at the bottom of each of its wheels — cut right through the tyres. Winding stairways lead from the doors up the front and back of each wheel through the forward and rear standards to the backbone of the machine. Thence spiral stsps ascend to the handle bar and saddle. The stairs are lighted throughout by numerous windows of quaint design, through which a great variety of views can be obtained as the Bightseer mounts to the top of the structure. The backbone of the big bicycle will contain a large apartment to be used as a banquetiug hall. One long table will run down the centre through the entire length, at which 600 persons may be seated comfortably. Clarice Caught Ike Counsel. In some cases counsel receive auswers to questions that they had no business to put, which, if not quite to their liking, are what they ju3tly deserve. The following story of George Clarke, the celebrated negro minstrel, is a oaae in point. On one occasion, when being examined as a witness, he was severely interrogated by a lawyer who wished to break 'down his evidence. " You are in the negro-minatrel business, I believe ? " inquired the lawyer. "Yes, sir," was the prompt reply. " la not that rather a low calling ?" demanded the lawyer. " I don't know but what it is sir," replied the minstrel ; " but it is so much better than my father's that I am rather proud of it." The lawyer fell into the trap Clarke had laid for him, and inquired : " What was your father's calling ? " " He was a. lawyer," replied Clarke, in a tone that sent the whole courb into a roar of laughter as the discomfited lawyer subsided into his eeat. lii Case the Street Baud Annoys. At business and other places, where the playing of a streeb brass band is annoying, it is sometimes customary to send a boy ont to suck a lemon facing the men who play the wind instruments. These men cannot play on their

instruments at all if they see the boy's mouth puckered up by the sour lemon juice, which fact is utilised by those who are disturbed by the music ; also by obherß who want to try tho experiment.

Actuated by the latter motive, an eminent) scientist paid a boy sixpence to go and sack a lemon in front of a flautist and French horn players, and the man with the oboe, who had taken up their pcsition in front of his house ; and no sooner had the bandmaster caught sight of the boy than he removed his artistes to the next square. The boy followed with his patron, and again the band moved. The third time the lemon-sacking boy faced the wind instruments, the bandmaster, who had been gradually growing infuriated, struck the lemon from his mouth.

The boy howled, and a policeman, who arrived on the scene, inquired the cause of the disturbance. But the eminent man of science had seen enough to satisfy his curiosity. As he loft the parties were in violent altercation.