Much Better Left Unsaid, LITTLE DIVERSIONS OF THE TONGUE.

Otago Witness, Issue 2210, 9 July 1896, Page 52

Much Better Left Unsaid, LITTLE DIVERSIONS OF THE TONGUE.

It is. well kuo.vn that in the hurry of speech and anxiety to bo polite one is often liable to slips of tho tongue which may put a different couitcuction upon the sentence from what wm intended. At an evening party a lady said to her partner : " Can you tell ma who that exceedingly plain mau is kitting opposite to us ? " " lhat is my brother," he replied. " Oh, I beg your pardon," she replied, much confused; "I did not notice tbe resemblance."

That was putting oni's foot in it, and yet was, perhaps, r.0 1 ; so awkward as it might have b?en. After a certain concert, a well-known German cantatrice asked a gentleman to whom she had been introduced how he liked her duet.

"You sang charmingly, madtme," was the rep'.y. " Bub why did you select tuch a horrid piece of music P " 11 Sir, thftt waewrittetvb'y my late husband,"

said the indignant singer. "Ab, yes, ot course. I did not meftn— - < But why aid you select tuch an a» t*> ting with you ? " "Heavens!" almost screamed tha Ifcdy.^,. "that'a my present husband." A lady said something the other day at a friead!s dinner that found a maik the archer little me«nt. There were several strangers present, and in response to a remark mrfao about a certain lady ot a certain age, the fair gu«ifc in question exclaimed:- ■ ''Why, good gracious! she is' as old as .the hilli ! " and could not imagine iv the least what had caused the general consternation. >

She did a little later, however, when it was explained to her that two maiden sisters at the table, whese names she did not catch in the ialroduct : oo, were called Hill, and wero ex* tremely sensitive on the subject of age.

Much bitter unsaid would tuvo been part of tho addrers of a cjllector for charities, who, raising his hat to a lady at the front door, begtn :

" Madam, I a»n folioiting for home charities. Wo .have hundreds of poor, ragged, vicious children like thote at your gate, and our object

IB — — "Sir, thote children are mine!" and the slamming of the door finished the sentence.

Au awkward compliment once rather dis* turbed the harmony of a wedding breakfast, given by a substantial farmer blessed with five daughters, the eldest bsing the bride. A neigh' bouring young farmer, who was honoured with nn invitation, thinking, no doubt, he ought to say FonnethiDg smart ond complimentary upon the event, addressing the Lr dogroom, said : " Well, you have got tho pek of the batch." •

The unmarried sisters should hava appreciated tha intended compliment to their married sister, bat tbe speech was risky. It only goes to show that the man who can think to say the right thing at tho right time is one to be envied, and that he who cannot open his m6uth in conversation without putting his fodfc in it should keep it shut.

E. C. Bruce, druggist, Tara, say> j " I haTe no medicine on my shelves that sells faster or gives better satisfaction ' than the Canadian Healing Oil, and the sale is constantly increaiing, the past year being the largest I have ever had. One of my customers was cured of catarrh' by using three bottles. Another was raised out of bed, where he had been laid' up for a long time with a lame back, by using two bottlss. I have lots of customers who would not he., without it OTCinkhfc. ll