An .Electrical Fane

Otago Witness, Issue 2210, 9 July 1896, Page 52

An .Electrical Fane

The astonishing progress of electrical ecienci is neatly satirised by a Parisian paper, which imagines Mr Edison, in his laboratory, hearing the news of a declaration of war between Great Britain and the United States. A young man, his assistant— rashes in, p&le and oQt of breath, and excliimed to the great electrician : "Oh, master, war is declared I It is tsrrible ! " "Ah!" s&yg the master. "War declared, eh ? Ai.d whore is the British army at this m finent ? " •• B'ubarking, sir." "Embarking where ?w? w " At Liverpool." " At Liverpool — yes. Now, my friend, wotfd you please join the ends of those two wires iangiDg there against the wall P That's right. Now, bring them to me. Good I And.be kind enough to press that button." * The assistant, wondering, and half-amnsed, presses the button. "Very well," says the inventor. "Now, do you know what; is talcing place at Lirerpool ? " " The British army is embarking, sir." The inventor palls out his watch and glances at the time. " There is bo British army," he says coolly. " What ? " screams the assistant. "When you touched that button you destroyed it." " On, this is frightful 1 " "It is not frightful at all; it is science. Now every time that a British expedition embarks at any port, pie we odme and tell me at once. Ten seconds afterwards it will simply be out of existence, that's all." "There doesu't seem to be any reason why America should be afraid of her enemies «f ter this, sir." " I am inclined to believe you," .sayi tha master, smilingly slightly. " But in order to arett future trouble, I think it would be best to destroy England altogether." " To— to destroy Eagland, sir " " Kindly touch button number four, there.' 7 Tne assistant touches it. The iuvonlo; counts ten. " —eight, nine, ten— it's all over. There if no more England ! " " Oh ! Ob 1 " screams the young man. " Now we can go on quietly with our work," Bays the master. " And if we should evet be at war with any other nation, yon have only to notify me. I have an electric button .connect* ing with every foreign country, Which will destroy it when pressed. In teu minutes I could destroy every country in the world, the United Stales included. Be careful, now, that you don't" touch any of those button* aecideafe* a^ly—you might do a lot of damage;" . *