Passing Notes.

Otago Witness, Issue 1324, 14 April 1877, Page 14

Passing Notes.

The Marquis of Salisbury, who was sent to Turkey on a special diplomatic mission to arrange aftairs, appears to have made a pretty mess of it, and there are all sorts of tales in the Home papers showing how he had been "had" — to use a Colonial expression — by the Turks. Perhaps the_ best- story is the following, from the World. Soon after Lord Salisbury's arrival he went to call on the Grand Vizier. The conversation turned on Montenegro, and the British Plenipotentiary strongly urged that in the coming settlement a port on the Adriatic must be accorded to. her. The Grand Vizier seemed reasonable, acknowledged that there was some justice in the demand, and added the Bocche di Cattaro would suit her best. " Then why should she not have it V replied Lord Salisbury. TheYizier looked grave, but said, "I think that on this point no opposition will be raised by the Ottoman Government." Elated at his first diplomatic success, the English envoy went to the preliminary Conference and triumphantly announced that through his exertions the question of Montenegrin demands might be considered settled, for that if the Conference would only propose the cession of the Bocche' di Cattaro he could answer that no opposition would be raised. Ignatief smiled blandly, Count Zlchy sprang to his feet in dismay, and wildly asked whether the dismemberment of Austria was contemplated ! It then^ dawned upon the British envoy that he had been giving away an Austrian port.

From what we heard of the Great Review at Queenstown the other day we were given to believe that it was something remarkably grand, and would bring "Queenstown, its splendid lake, great resources, and magnificent climate," prominently before the world. Sir John Richardson came out with one of those heroic after dinner speeches for which he is so celebrated, and to which no man ever pays the slightest attention. Then we are told that Mayor something or other, I never heard his name before and don't remember it now, " made the best speech he has ever yet achieved," to the

astonishment of all his hearers, who never for one moment suspected that they had a sucking Cicero or Burke among them. But alas for human greatneas, as scon as these Riverton volunteers got home they declared that the Mayor's speech wasn't worth listening to, that the Queenstown people had treated them most shabbily, giving them dirty straw to sleep upon, all because they (the Queenstown people) were jealous of their superior shooting. Well, if I were Queenstown, I would not bounce to the same extent next time.

One of the great benefits we receive from modern science ia the ease with which we can obtain copies of celebrated works of Art — chromo-lithographs, oleographs, and all the other graphs. When these came out first many people here who had never seen anything of the sort before imagined them to be real paintings. I heard a good story the other day of how several smart people were taken in with them. A dealer in all sorts of knick-knacks bought a case of twelve oleographs, representing a Jewish priest sacrificing a lamb on Mount Sinai, a regular Jewish picture, in fact. He hung one of these up in his shop, and shortly afterwards a gentleman of Hebrew persuasion, who professed to be judge of paintings, came in, and looking at the picture said, "Hullo, where did you get that ? " '* Oh, I got it from a new chum who was hard up. " " What will you take for it?" "Twelve pounds." "It's mine," was the answer, and the picture was taken home, and a great fuss made to get it hung in a proper light. A few days afterwards the purchaser of the picture met a friend, and after a little desultory conversation, he said, "Ah, by the way, J , I have got a perfect gem of a picture, a genuine work of art, and no mistake." He then mentioned the subject of it. " Well," saidJ , "That's odd; I got a painting of the same subject ; I got it from D ." The first purchaser began to suspect it wasn't all right, and took J along to compare hia picture with the other. As soon a3 they got into the room J said "Why, that's the identical thing I've got. 1 gave £10 for mine." , Here was a go. It was rather improbable that P had bought two pictures from two new chums, and the two felt they had been had,. They then dis covered that the - paintings were worth 30s each", and that several other leading, .members of the Jewish portion of the' community had been taken in in the game way. But the, cream of the joke iB that; they all" went in a body to the dealer ■D , and asked him not to sell any more till they had got rid of theirs !

' I hear lots more sporting stories. One, of a party of three young gentlemen who borrowed a dog and went sporting. The three got separated, and one who had thedog saw three ducks swimming on the water, and after stalking them carefully, shot them. He then discovered that they were little baby ducklings with down on them, and was much disgusted ; but presently he saw the mama duck, as he supposed, swimming out to them, and, taking a steady aim, potted her. It was the dog going out to retrieve them ! and the owner of that dog thinks he was worth ten pounds ! Another gentleman — a well-known Dunedin merchant — who was out on Good Friday, was accosted by a policeman with "Sure now ye're poaching." > "What do you mean, Sir, by making such a statement ; don't you you know I'm a Justice of the Peace ?" "Sure an' I don't care, but I saw ye poaching a duck in that ditch for the last hour." The merchant looked into the ditch along the bank of which he had been walking, and there sure enough was a little duckling swimming as fast as its little legs could paddle it.

Not long ago, a gentleman came out from home, and did it very fine. He gave champagne suppers, and was altogether a very fine fellow. People took him in hand, and lots of girls fell in love with him, as they generally do with any new arrival who is supposed to have iaoney. He gave one of his friends, a very popular actor, who visited Dunedin some time ago, a splendid champagne supper, and afterwards borrowed from his friend the amount neceasary to pay for the supper. Soon it began to be noticed somehow that he always did borrow from his friends, as his remittances about which he talked a good deal were rather irregular. Thi3 gay young man then went to Melbourne — to arrange about his remittances— and has picked up the Eng'ish cricketers and — borrowed largely from them all. By the last mail, it appears that he haa taken a geological contract with the Victorian Government to last two years. To my knowledge, he is the sixth who has come here and goue the same racket, and yet there are fools here who continue to get taken in with such fellows.

It is said that the Prince of Wales is going to visit the Australasian Colonies. Well, I suppose if he doe 3we shall all go mad with loyalty, as we did on a former occasion ; but I trust that we shall not suffer such a reaction as we did then, when all sorts of tales of petty meannesses, unworthy of a gentleman, let alone a Prince, were current.

So the University Council have got another Professor of Anatomy. Well, I suppose the best thing they can do is to let him know that he is to keep his place, and let them keep theirs, and don't let the public witness any, moro of these little scandals which were common during

the former Professor's term of office. The unfortunate student, too — 1 wonder where he has got to. He must be raked out again, aB it wouldn't do to have a Professor without a student. It's my belief that the student's in the Asylum, but I don't think there will be much difficulty in getting him sane enough to attend the lectures.

The little-mindedness of the heads of departments in Wellington is something inconceivable. Fancy a lot of men being called up from half :past nine a.m. till five p m., and not being allowed to leave the building without permission. They were not allowed to leave for lunch, nor were they to smoke during any part of the day ; in fact, they were treated like " a parcel of schoolboys. It used to .be thought that the Government stroke was an easy job, but so' far as I can see, in Wellington it's little better than slavedriving. Perhaps some head who arranges those affairs has been a slavedriver in one of the Southern States. If this is the case, it would quite account for this peculiar state of affairs in the Civil Service.

That dreadful gas a^ain. Mr Genevpr has cast a little light upon the subject, by showing how gas is adulterated. People wouldn't mind so much if the Council were to admit the gas was bad, and say they couldn't help it, but they won't,. and they get. that engineer of theirs to prove that it's equal to so many dozen candles, when it's palpable to the naked eye that it doesn't give more light than a farthing rushlight.