WOULDN'T BUY.
A long-waisted lady, having a seductive I smile and winning way 3, called upon a ! Detroit shoemaker lately to convince him that he needed a metal hair brush — a novelty just out and in the hands of canvassers. After she had put in about five minutes' talk, he uncovered his bald head, and asked — "Where is there]£any thing to brush with it %' I "Then your wife could use it," she said. " My wife is dead, poor soul." " Then your daughters." " I have no daughters, and the only son I have went crazy from brushing his hair too much." " I believe this brush would help a new growth of hair on your scalp," she laid, unwilling to let him off. "Don't want any hair there," he replied. " I was never so happy as since I nave become bald-headed," "Well, don't you ever brush your scalp V* " Never. I have it sand-papered four times per year, and the rest of the time it must get along the best it can." " I am in great need of money," she remarked as she looked around the shop. "So am I," he replied, as he pegged away ; " I haven't seen but three dollars in the last two weeks." " It would almost be an act of charity to buy of me," she pleaded. " I never give to charity, madam. I haven't given a shilling to any one or to any object for the last thirty years." " Your second wife might want the brush." " I shall never marry again. I hate all the women." " Then you don't think you could use it V" she asked as she rose up. " Yes, I could take it and brush my dog's ears clean back to his tail, and brush hi 3 tail clean over his nose, or I could make it over into a snow-shovel, or sell it to some saw-mill, or repair my wheelbarrow with it ; but I said ' no,' and I shall stick to ifc. I'm bald-headed, ugly-tem-pered, sinful, malicious, and desperate, but I pride myself on keeping my word ;
and, madam, if metal hair-brushes and. bald-headed .men and female agents were as thick as buttons on a . girl's, idress,. my thunderous voice,wouldstillcry, '.N-o-u-g h —no ! '"—Detroit Free Press. . > '
Permanent link to this item
https://paperspast.natlib.govt.nz/newspapers/OW18770407.2.64.3
Bibliographic details
Otago Witness, Issue 1323, 7 April 1877, Page 21
Word Count
373WOULDN'T BUY. Otago Witness, Issue 1323, 7 April 1877, Page 21
Using This Item
No known copyright (New Zealand)
To the best of the National Library of New Zealand’s knowledge, under New Zealand law, there is no copyright in this item in New Zealand.
You can copy this item, share it, and post it on a blog or website. It can be modified, remixed and built upon. It can be used commercially. If reproducing this item, it is helpful to include the source.
For further information please refer to the Copyright guide.
Log in