THE SLAMMING BLIND.

Otago Witness, Issue 1323, 7 April 1877, Page 21

THE SLAMMING BLIND.

It was blowing pretty fresh on Friday night, and a blind on the house of Mr Perkins, who lives on Union street, began slamming with great vehemence. Mrs Perkins, who is a very nervous woman, reached over and poked her slumbering spouse in the back. " Henry ! " she exclaimed. Henry answered with only a snore — a good-natured, contented snore. " Henry ! " she again exclaimed, punching him more emphatically. "Whateryerwan," murmured the lethargic Henry, sleepily. "Get up and shut that blind," said Mrs Perkins, " I can't sleep a wink, it keeps up such a racket." "Oh, never mind it,'' muttered Mr Perkins, turning over for another nap,. "Henry Longfellow Perkins, do you think I'm going to lie here and hear that blind slam ! slam ! slam ! all night 1 If you don't get up and shut it, I shall, and just as like as not catch cold, with nothing on but my nightgown." Mr Perkins sprang savagely out of bed, stalked to the window, and threw it up sharply. Then he leaned out and felt for the refractory blind. And while he was leaning on his stomach, balancing himself with his bare legs, the window slipped from its fastening and came down, catching the unhappy man across the small of the back with an awful force. " Graminivorous Nebuchadnezzar !" screamed Perkins, in a voice so large toned that his wife sprang out of bed in alarm, and the neighbours were all awakened. " Oh ! help ! help !" yelled Perkins, as he in vain endeavoured to squirm into the room. It was too -dark to show the cause of the trouble, and Mrs Perkins struck a match as quickly as her fright would' allow. And when the lamp gave forth its light it revealed to her horror-stricken gaze a pair of bare legs cleaving the air with great rapidity. "Oh, Henry! what'i the matter?" she inquired, in great distress. "Put out the light, you old fool, and then hist up this window," returned Henry, hoarsely. " Don't you call 1 me' an old' fool, Henry Perkins," said she, and her eyes snapped like torpedoes. " For heaven's sake hist up the window. It's cutting me in two," groaned the unfortunate Perkins. "Well, I'll put it up, but don't you call me an old fool again, or there'll be worse hollering round here than, there has been," said Mrs Perkins. She raised the window, and released the prisoner. It was a passion-distorted face that Perkins brought into the room, and he ejaculated as he slammed d°wn the window and pulled the curtain, "A woman ain't got no more sense than a hen." — Rochland Courier. ■