Passing Notes.

Otago Witness, Issue 1190, 19 September 1874, Page 13

Passing Notes.

Now, Mr Bathgate— My dear Sir— Your Worship— Your HONOUR !— Surely, surely you are making a great mistake, quarrelling with a boy "who does not appear to be above seventeen years of age." It is quite a new sight to see a Judge coming down from the Bench, as it were, to sit upon boys not above seventeen years of age, connected with the Press. Quite new to find a Judge willing to set himself up as the censor of the Press. Quite new in a Court where Englioh law is administered, to find a Judge " communicating officially with the Editor of the Times," &o. Officially forsooth ! Who was in an official position in the matter 1 the Judge or the Editor ? It is certainly the office of the Editor to receive communications of all sorts ; but when they come in this manner, they are marked "officious," not "official." Quite unusual, I say, emphatically, quite unheard of, to find a Judge hearing an ex parte statement from an officer of his Court — whose right to complain, if he thinks he has a ground of complaint, is undoubted— and then proceeding literally to adjudicate upon it by censuring the accused and threatening him with punishment, making imputa°tions of a grave character, without giving him a chance of defending himself. This won't do, Mr Bathgate.

Ah ! Mr Vogel, I thought you were telling a well, a diplomatic version <jf the truth when you gave out that you were^ not going home. Of course you didn't say it, but you got somebody else to do it. Of course it would be undignified in a Minister to lead people to infer that he was only going a short journey, when, in fact, he was clearing out. Inferior people are always employed to do this sort of thing— familiar spirits employed for thn purpose. Remember, now, the contradiction you gave to the rumour as to the Polynesian soheme. You flatly denied that through your familiar. Naughty, naughty, man, yonr familiar will have to answer for this some day, as your hired sinner. Shocking ! We are in the thick of good times now, but bad times begin to loom in the distance. Of course you would feel very uncomfortable having to attempt in vain to wade up stream. You initiated the great policy which mrst soon bear fruit. You have sucked the orange dry ; we are much obliged that you leave us even the skin. I wish you a pleasant voyage, and I hope you will honour England with your company for many years. Don't come back until you have quite set them in the right way over there. f

" Money is tight," is the report for last week. "Screwed," I suppose, by the jealous Banks mentioned by the reporter, who proposes that we shall get a lot of money from Barings, Rothschilds, et id hoc genus omne— which I suppose is Greek, if it is not Latin. I alwajs feel a certain amount of sympathy with the circulating medium ; when it gets scarce, I feel very scarce, and when it is easy I feel easy too — but there my sympathy seems to end, for when it is tight I never can get tisht. Why is it that while money is said to be so scarce, all shares are rising ? Surely it ought to be the other way ; but I suppose this is a clear indication that money has been very "tight" of late— in fact, the " medium " seema to have been going in for spirits pretty strongly.

I really don't know whether there is any truth in the statement that Val Vose is to join the Ministry. If Mr Vogel is going away perhaps he would hardly suit, but under that gentleman he would make an admirable Minister without portfolio. It is said that " he painted a face on the back of his hand, and by the exercise of his powers, apparently made it drink, smoke,' and talk." The very thing for Mr Vogel ! What does it matter where the face is painted, whether, on the back of the r.and of one of the Cabinet, or on the back of the Cabinet, or the back of a chair for that matter, so long as it can. be made apparently to "drink, smoke, and talk ?" Indeed the first two acts are quite unnecessary, and perhaps undesirable ; but to have faces painted on something which apparently talks is a necessary and integral part of the performance. It would be easy to do worse than import this talented gentleman into the Wellington Combination Troupe.

Naseby, or the Hogburn, as it is locally called, must be an uncomfortable place, or, to say the least, must be in an uncomfortable mood just now. We have two items of news from that fair region of sheep, gold, and sludge- channels. A man sitting quietly at dinner was ob-, served to a gulp," and suddenly get very quiet ; and, on examination, it was found that the dinner was his last — ; the poor fellow had somehow, suffocated himself with a large piece of meat. The other item of news from this favoured' region was still more melancholy and unaccountable. A respectable commercial traveller was found to have made a desperate attempt at suicide by cutting his throat, just missing the carotid artery on each side. Modern untravelled Otagans know Naseby as "a place on the map," which figures very well from time to time in the escort returns. Having visited it occasionally, I can testify to its being the ne plus ultra of dulness and slowness — a place of galvanised iron stores, tailings, and many public houses ; a city, the very sight of which would make Mr Bathgate weep; or rouse Mr Fox to eloquence,°the "unhappy example "" of Ota v gan Good

Templarism, But the two events I have mentioned have no apparent connection with the local politics of Naseby.

A case in the Resident Magistrate's Oourb early this week was instructive in two ways— first, Mr Dalrymple claimed to be heard, upon the grounds that " the amount claimed was too trivial to employ a lawyer." Now, would Mr Dalrymple kindly inform us whether he works at lower rates than solicitors ; and in the trivial case mentioned, what the litigant would gain by preferring Mr Dalrymple to say Mr stout or any other gentleman practising in that court ? I pause fur a reply. The other matter was, or might have been, more serious. Mr Bathgate found himself called upon to imprison a person for debb. He fortunately knew, by hearsay, I suppose, that imprisonment for debt was abolished, but knew nothing more of the law by which this was effected, though it was passed weeks ago. Mr Bathgate, having been a Minister, knew better than his brethren what goes on at Wellington. He "knows the ropes," and picks up information. Other magistrates in this distant Province are possibly quite unaware of the existence of a law under which they have been doing all sorts of illegal acts. Surely it is time to remedy this. We constantly live under laws of which we are in total ignorance for weeks after they come into operation^ Many of us may be at this moment incurring enormous penalties without the possibility of knowing of their existence.

Criminal statistics are always interesting as a gauge of the state of society. I notice that in the month of August there were 248 arrests in the Province ; of these, only 25 were women. Drunkenness stands at the head — 125 arrests, or more than half. I make out about 43 serious offences, and 245 of a minor kind. In the former category I place all larcenies and almost ail offences against property, many of which were probably trivial. In the latter I include most of the offences against the person, such as common assaults, assaults on Police, &c, most of which are hasty acts, while the former are generally deliberate. We :r.ay still congratulate ourselves on the fact that in spite of the very suspicious importations by the late ships, we are comparatively free from the visitation of serious crime in the Province. The only "crime" in which the female sex preponderates is that classed as "Neglected and criminal children," a very excusable offenoe, if it can be called an offence for a child to be neglected.

My paste has turned sour, and my scissors have taken to squeaking when I cut with them. This stops Avenue No. 1. There is scarcely any blacking left in the bottle — ink I never yet rose to — and my wife wants what thereis for her boots, moreover, my pen spits at every turn. No-thoroughfare No. 2. My youngest — a thoughtful and affectionate boy— has digested my red lead pencil, and has chewed the black one so fine that I can't induce the lead to appear above board. Foiled again, No. 3. Buy some more, did you say ? No, my friend, our clergyman has entered upon a Publio Works policy, so it can't be done. He is perfectly disinterested, of course, but, of course, when the whole thing is carried out, and the debt paid off, &c, he will do all the reat himaelf, then I shall be able to purchase several lead pencils per annum ; until then I must continue to set up my type " straight from the font." Pity the raw and undigested outflow of my brain.

If we could only discover upon what terms the moa lived with that duck, the question would be settled once for all. This cuts out a clear question for naturalists. We have these four facts settled : — 1. The duck is dead ; 2. Her bones were gnawed by a rat ; 3. The Maori rat did not gnaw duck's bones, but the brown rai does ; 4. The brown cat was not here before the white men brought him. Thio leads to two inevitable conclusions ;—l,; — 1, That the brown rat gnawed the bones ; 2. That the bones were, from a rodent point of view, at least, worth gnawing. Further, we have the fact that the boneß of the moa were found very close to — in the same cave with — those of the duck. It is unfortunate that the bones of the moa were not gnawed, but then we mu3t not lose sight of the fact that this rat was a European rat, and would naturally show more respect to the remains of the great bird (dem cjrossen Vogel, as the Germans say) than to those of the dear friendly, waddling, wallowing, quacking duck (ente — ihis is German, too). We are getting very close to the most serious problem of the day : If the moa only lived on decent and neighbourly terms with the duck (without being familiar, or even intimate), we may say demonstratwn est (es ■ist erwiesen) and close our books. I shall in future devote myself to this question.

A railway to the Ocean Beach ! Why did we not make it half-a-dozen years ago, when land was dirt cheap ? As it is, do we not see almost daily in the summer hundreds of people, toiling out there on tired legs, or with the help of still more jaded horses ? Habitue's of the Beach know that there is no such healthy walk near Dunediu. It is a place full of innocence and guilelessness, Mr Jolly's experience — which was not jolly — to the contrary notwitstanding. Good walks are not very plentiful about Dunedin ■ under present circumstances at least — big hills and muddy roads being a deal too cheap, so that the Company ( that will take us, and, I may say, our children and our

nurses, dryshod to the Beach will earn our thanks, and our child', on'a thanks, and Mary Jane's very best thanka,