THE TERRORS OF A VALENTINE.

Otago Witness, Issue 652, 28 May 1864, Page 9

THE TERRORS OF A VALENTINE.

A middle-aged man, dressed in the garb of an engineer, entered the Southwark Police Court ia rather a flurried manner with a letter in his hand. On the top of the envelope the words "On Her " Majesty's service " were printed. He begged His Worship to assist him in the matter. Clerk— What fa it you want ? Applicant — This letter came to my house on. Saturday, addressed to my son, and perceiving the words rt On Her Majesty's service*' printed outside, I thought something was the matter; but when I opened it this summons was enclosed in it, and I don't know what it means, or what it Clerk— Let me look at the summons— {laughter)— this is & rather curious summons. It is headed, "Court of Hymen to wit," and orders the person to whom it is addressed "to appear ' on the 14th at the Court of Hymen, to 'answer the charge of stealing the heart of Amelia Smart* —Signed, J. Lovbwell." - . ;<■. Applicant— Yes, sir, I have read it, and can't make out what it means/ I don't know any such place as the Court of- Hymen. (Laughter. I know the Police, Court,- therefore I thought i advisable to come here abont it. .. • Clerk— Can't'you see what it is? It'isava- - lentjne. I f suppose-ft has been rBent r 8ent to your son by-some young woman he knows. /-' ' r ' - ■ Applicant-^ does- not look'Dke a'^alenthW, and I think something ought to be done, to stop •; their circulation, as they are liable, to frighten some people. . ,' „ I . ' Clerk— They must be very 1 foolish people then. The very appearance of the paper shows what it is. I suppose your son .is acquainted with the sender. - •, ,■ . -.'./. , ,- Applicant-Oh, yes. t I think she comes .after - him, but he is too young for anything of that sort. Can't I prosecute her for sending such a summons? ; . - « Clerk— No. It is only a valentine. You had - better go home and take it in good part. "' • Applicant then left the court very > dissatisfied.

The youth who stole a kiss has been discharged on condition that he will not embrace another opportunity

A mm at a fair was asked If his horse was timid. " Not at all," said he ; «he frequently spends the whole night by himself in a stable." If "a woman does, not speak her secrets wia her lips, she is sure to tell them in .her letters. Her pen is certain to «plit.