MODERN MARRIAGE

Otago Daily Times, Issue 23203, 29 May 1937, Page 19

MODERN MARRIAGE

DISCUSSED FROM THREE ASPECTS WINTER SCHOOL LECTURES " Marriage and the -Family" was a subject discussed from three different angles and debated freely by last evening's session of the W.E.A. Winter School. The lecturers were Archdeacon Whitehead, who spoke of the Church's view of marriage; Mr C. T. Alley, who presented the case for greater freedom, and Mrs S. M. Park, took the mother's view and urged the cause of greater family allowances. The lecturers were introduced by Mr 3. Robertson, who presided. • The institution of marriage was bound up with the very existence of the human race, Archdeacon Whitehead said. It had taken many different forms, but social conditions at their best seemed to demand not only a monogamous union, but a union which was also life-long. If the primary object of marriage were the maintenance of the race, the rearing of children and the stability of the home precluded the idea of marriage as a transitory relation; It took a lifetime to realise the full beauty of marriage. The family was based upon the deeprooted instincts of man, and the ethical value of the family had not been impaired by recent changes. •'No law can really make a marriage null and void if it was ever a real marriage," he continued. "On this view there can be no divorce in the modern sense—the separation of man and wife so that both can 'marry' again. The doctrine has resulted in many hardships. The mediaeval Church had a bad record both for rigidity and laxity in relation to marriage. It remains to be seen whether modern States are likely, to have any better. The most severe arid most delicate problems and difficulties of married -life will find no solution in the divorce court, which probably produces as many,.if not more, evils than it cures." . DIVORCE. LAW , Some churchmen opposed the State having any divorce law at all; but this really amounted to an attempt to impose an ideal by law, and- such attempts had always been and always would be failures. A divorce law was a necessary concession to the weakness of human nature, but for the most part it made bad law. if the Anglican Communion had the courage of its convictions, it would create a court for matrimonial Causes in each province or diocese. Each bishop or archbishop would thus set up a penitential jurisdiction, which would deal openly with questions of marriage and divorce and other elements of public morality. Such jurisdiction would need.no sanction but the sacred mission of the Church, and" no support but that of the Christian conscience. The law of the State, .would pass it by because it , moved in a different plane. Even a more crying need than that of such a tribunal was the necessity for educational preparation for marriage. It was obvious that the clergy could not and. should not be the only teachers in this matter.

" In, marriage more than In any other state of life," he concluded, " success depends on how far .the parties concerned are willing to make reasonable sacrifices for each other." CREATIVE LIVING

Looking at marriage from a human point of view, the beginning was attraction between man and woman, Mr Alley said. There were two aspects of marriage—the social point of view and the fact that there was a creative relationship between two people. It was the latter aspect that Mr Alley discussed. , "I'do* n:>t believe that marriage is arranged by any external agency, he said* People just began, to realise their potentialities rafter martaige, and. it .was a tragic;,; attitude that anyone should be "put on. to a,shelf " or that a woman should be placed on a pedestal when she was married. Promise and contracts were only a first step. They led to creative living; The chief purpose of marriage was not procreation, he continued, although children were the chief fruits of marriage. . It was love and not external ceremonies that consecrated marriage, and. true marriage enriched society. Marriage should not mean the loss of the spirit pnd the will for adventurous living. The principle oi protectiveness in bringing up of families was criticised by Mr Alley. "It is so easily and so frequently over-done," he said. " Children should be encouraged to stand on their own feet. 'This idea of a tight, protective«little family does not produce good, energetic citizens. External sanctions do not affect the issue. There is much more to it than that. Let us substitute inner sensitiveness for external codes." Mr Alley commented on several influences harmful to the desired freedom of relationship—the flippant, furtive attitude, the traditional idea of the body as evil and the spirit as good, possessiveness, chivalry compared with honest respect, and negative upbringing. FAMILY SACRIFICES

The family was primarily a sacrifice, Mrs Park emphasised. She discussed it from a mother's point of view, speaking of the physical and economic handicaps that had to be overcome. The great problem was to make adequate allowance;!: for families, and it was only good housekeeping for the Government to provide adequately in this direction. The allowance of milk to school children was a great boon, but much more could yet be done. The State could have no greater asset than happy homes. After a lively round-table discussion on points raised by the lecturers, a vote of thanks and appreciation was carried. ;

, This morning's class will be addressed by Mr Alley on "Modern Writers' Views on Marriage and the Family," A one-act play will be presented in the evening, to be followed by a social and dance. To-morrow afternoon Mrs Peter Milne will discuss "Marriage and the Family in Russia," and in the evening the churches are to be invited to discuss «'Marriage and the Family." FASCIST METHODS * FREEDOM OMITTED The subject of yesterday afternoon's class was " Marriage and the Family Under Fascism," discussed by Mrs W. N. Benson, who dealt particularly with the conditions and standards of Italy. "Believe, obey, work, and fight." were the key-words of Fascism in dealing with individuals, she said. "Believe all for the State, nothing outside the State, and nothing against the State; complete subjugation of individuals for the State," she continued. "In democracy the individual has a reasonable, choice. Fascism, according to Mussolini, disdains the comfortable and demands discipline and danger. We have much to learn from this aspect of Fascism. If you receive protection and livelihood from your coun : try. you must defend it. Mussolini looks back to the old Roman virtue of courage, but he omits freedom. Service, not happiness, is his ideal, with the result that ruthlessness and fear are the method of persuasion under Fascism." . • • * : , . Mrs Benson described the Fascist system of educating youth for marriage and the inducements offered for big families. She answered a number of questions, .after which afternoon tea was served: _^