PASSING NOTES.

Otago Daily Times, Issue 18825, 31 March 1923, Page 4

PASSING NOTES.

“Que (liable allait-il fuire. dans cot to galore?" exclaims tho stingy lather in •Aloliorc’s coinedv when told that his madcap son has ventured on hoard a Turkish galley in the harbour and is there held for ransom. I'oday, up and down tho dominion, Sir Joseph Ward's friends it am not among his enemies 1) are asking why the deuce or the dickens did he go to Tauranga. Quo (liable allait-il fauo dans eette galore? Elsewhere at the General Election lie might have had a seat for little more than the asking. At Tauranga he was hound to lind the enemy in force —horse, fool, and guns. We don't gloat over tho Tauranga election figures, as Mr .Massey says, —nobody “g-'oats” but tile bad hoys in “'Stalky and Co.";— a feeling of sober satisfaction falls short of gloating. Sir Joseph ought to be in the House; ere long doubtless there will ho he. Meanwhile we shall have time to grow familiar with hia discovery of the ‘■philosopher’s stono - ’ with its fabled power of turning everything it touches into gold. In this age the philosopher's stone is a Government printing press. You make a contract for some groat public work, tho building of a raihvav. say. To pav the contractor you print a sufficiency of 5 per cent, bonds. That is all. The benefits of this discovery may he widely extended. How simple to pay the whole Civil Service by Government 5 per cent, bonds 1 Not finite n “Satan’s Invisible World Displayed”—not quite, hut tending that way—is tho one-volume ‘“Life of Sir Edward Cook, K.8.E.,” a London journalist You have Loudon journalism behind the scenes, with authentic glimpses of the close relations between leading journalists and lending politicians. Edward Cook, fresh, from Oxford, joined the Rail Mall Gazette in its palmy days under W. T. Stead, with two other smart Oxford men on the staff—John Mnrlov and Alfred Milner, both now in the House of Lords. Stead was a horn iournalist, —a hustler, a sensationalist, with tendencies to sheer crankiness, tendencies from which Oxford, had Oxford hern his portion, might have saved him. “A compound of Don Quixote and Phinen.s T. Barnum,” Milner said of him. But knowledge of himself was a saving grace. ‘‘lt was Milner’s business to go through- the proofs of mv lending articles and tone them down. Ho would squirm at an adjective here, reduce a superlative there, strike nut anything likely to irritate nr offend. He was always putting water into my wine. Ho was always combing out knots in the tangled mane of the P.M.G., and when the linn opened his mouth Milner was alwavs at hand to he consulted as to tho advisability of modulating the ferocity nf its roar.” Tims, with all good humour, does Stead write of his colleague. There were times however when the Stead contagion showed in everybody about him. Milner included. “When I started some new escapade M. entered thoroughly into the fun of the thing: ‘What larks!’ ne would frequently exclaim. ' But tho point is that to the Pall Mall people, as doubtless to other journalistic groups in London, came leaders from botlp sides of tho House, Cabinet Ministers included, to give and receive political “tips.” Lord Salisbury, Lord Rosebery, Lord Randolph Churchill, and others—in this all alike. Thus W. H. Smith, newly appointed War Minister, under Interrogatory by Cook of the P.M.G. —• “And why did they want you so much to "h to tho War Office?" “Because (this is all, remember, in the strictest confidence) they thought 1 should be able to take decisions when they were wanted, to say ‘Yes’ or ‘No.’ You see, I have no royal connections, no family interests. I haven’t a single malo relative alive except my lx»y. I am completely unprejudiced and unfettered. Now no mischief must be made, or—but I needn’t threaten.’’ ■ “No, if Mr Stead ever makes any improper use nf information you give us, why, of course, there will be an end of it.” “Yes, exactly so—an end (hat minute. Wherewith W. H. S. shook hands. . . . Then Lord Randolph Churchill, a change of Government impending ;—Cook again—- “ And as to Egypt it's now annex or internationalize. That's Bismarck’s alternative, and France won’t allow annexation. What will you do?” “Not annex, perhaps, but protest certainly. Withdraw from the Soudan—any one may have the damned railway who likes—hold Siwkin I suppose, hold the Wady Haifa line and protect Egypt.” “Then you will have to square Germany.” “Yes, we’ll give Bismavek anything ho likes in South Africa.. Ho might have the whole place, bar the Cape, so far ns I care—hut Zanzibar certainly. I was talking to Salisbury about this the other day, and ho agreed.” . . . As in their light-hearted readiness to dismember the Empire, so in their talk with each other, those eminent statesmen were just schoolboys; e.g., from Cook's Diary;— Dined at House of Commons with Ciirzon. Sat between Balfour and Birrell. Also Cust, Iwan-Muller. A. Hardingo, and Asquith. Nearly oil “Arthurcd” and “Ocorged” and “Harrycd.” Talked about Randy, everybody having had a row with him. Balfour said ho was ihe best conversationalist he knew, better even Ilian Rosebery, not so forced. Said W.E.G, and Chamberlain easily best speakers in tho House of Commons —all lawyers bad speakers. Mr John Morley, .slave of the lamp, was writing a loading article when a note came from the G.O.M. (Grand Old Maul asking him to call. “I went,” says Mnrley, “and lie offered me the Irish Secretaryship. I was very much surprised. I said 1 must consult Jo (Chamberlain) first, as I always did. Jo said 'Damn him ! I know ho would do it.’ I funked it, being entirely new to office, but said I supposed I shouldn’t respect myself if I refused. Jo said, ‘Oh, of course you must fake it.’ I returned to the G.0.M., and then went back and finished the leader.” In these echoes from the talk of the Olympians note the regrettable prevalence of the Big big 1). John Morley, whatever his habit when only a slave of the lamp, had later tho Olympian turn of speech. Harcourt, lie said, was “damnably overbearing,” and “went about tho lobbies damning the Government.” Cook dining with Lord Rosebery, “sat next to Mr Gladstone.” Curious how Clad stono flashed up whenever Ireland came. on. Told an excellent story of an Orangeman who was an evil liver, and in the last ministrations performed the religious exorcise of saying “Damn tho Poire.” Servants came in in the middle nf this, and Mr Gladstone turned the sn.liject till they had gone. “He wouldn't have said that ‘damn’ ten years ago,” said Rosebery afterwards. So Mr Gladstone was going tho way of all the rest. Then .Mr Ru.skin, the last man to expect in such a context—Ruskin even! Cook, who had written much in his praise, called on Ruskin at a Loudon hotel. He said as I came in that ho was never more glad to see anyone in Ins life. AA'o sat down and he damned (ho P.M.G. for not having inserted his two former letters from Snndgale. Ho was damned if lie was going to write to ug any more on those terms. I said wo didn't know that ho meant them for publication. . . . The British monosyllable menus no more than the Papal “anathema” and is easier handled. But 1 maintain, and shall always maintain, (hat “damn” is had form. Dear “Civis,” —As yon have been discussing Sir Walter Scott of late perhaps yon will permit me to point nut ns curious a mention in Scott of influenza, “St. Ronan's AVell,” chapter (i: —“Mrs Blower, from the Bow-hond, had come to the AVell to carry off tho dregs of tho Tnflionzie,’ which she scorned to call a surfeit..” “ St. Ronan’s AVell” dates a hundred years hack. I had always understood that Ihe word “influenza.,' though, ns most people know, derived from astrology end the "influence” of the stars, was of more recent origin. Influenza ns an epidemic disease to ne dreaded like the cholera morbus was '■known, name and thing, long before Scott. Tho word is Italian for “influence,’’ simply thatand the sixteenthconlury Italiaai doctors, probably during

a devastating visitation of (bo disease, unable to hit upon a rational explanation, ascribed .it to the “influence”—''inlluinza.”—of the stars. The world outside of Italy, equally at a loss, has kept the name. This correspondent continues In flic some chapter 6 of ‘‘St. Romans Well” Scott writes: “She (tho Lai civ i’onelnpo) might suppose that new lights, accord ui" to the poet, were streaming on her mind through tho thinks that Time was making,'' "Accord;eg to tno 7ioet” —what poet Poet "Waller, time of the Commonwealth : The soul's dark cottage, nattered and decayed, Lets in now light through chinks .'pat Time has made. A politician in a tempestuous with troubles many and serious—e.g., » hue of £IO.OOO and banishment from the realm —how had Waller the disposition to indite verses? Yet consider these lines “On a Girdle”— A narrow compass! and yet there Dwell all that's good end hi that's fair; Give me but what this riband hound. Take all the rest the sun goes round. Neater quatrain was never writ. Church advertisement, in America: “Como to Church; verses from Oscar Wilde will he read.” Another, “Come to be shown." Vet another: “Subject; ■ ‘Flappers and Flapdoodle,’ by pastor. This on the authority of a. reverend speaker at a Dunedin church meeting reported in tho Daily Times of Wednesday. Our local pulpiteers may take a hint, or rather, I should say, a warning. Even in England an execrable taste or want of taste in these matters is to he deplored. Tho Saturday Review of Jannarv 6, greatly daring, gives nrc.pheticnllv a Westminster Ablaev service fur Christmas 1923—next Christmas ; Suite —A Conn's Day Out Song -Bridal Dawn. Foxtrot —Please do it ngajn Song—Her mother on mo too One-stop—Whoso Baby avo you? Wide, of the mark this may be, scandnlouslv wide, yet, as satire, not without justification. " In this country church organ-music, knows few scruples. The opera, is laid under tribute; you may bo offered a ‘‘Tarantclle,” which' is _a dance, or even a "Digue,” —in plain English a jig. Perhaps there is precedent, for that; —Alexander Pope has a line, I forget in what connexion,— Make tho'soul dance upon a jig to heaven. Felicities of the country press—supplied by correspondents. From Oamaru : TUESDAY, d7lh MARCH. ST. LUKE’S CHURCH MAUNDERS. OLIVET TO CALVARY. There is a Maunder who writes church music, but here we have to do with a verb, not with a proper name. “ St. Luke's Church Maunders” is clearly libellous. Writing from Nelson “ ExDnnedinitc” asks what lie is to make of this: tTV/’ANTED, a coo kat once. Apply, V* etc. In this part of the country a coo is a cow; all the world over a cat is a cat spell it how you will. A cow cat will lie a female cat, a tabby let us say. This coo kat is wanted “once,” and if it is a cat That sings on the tiles once is enough. Here may come in an item that should hall under another heading: Dear ‘‘Civ's,’’—l noticed in Winston Churchill’s memoirs the use of tho expansion "worsened ’ —viz,, "The position neither bettered nor worsened.” I was not aware that this word existed in the English language, although I had often felt" the want of a negative to “improve’ or “better." In my dictionary the word is marked as “rare,” and I do not remember having seen or heard it used before. Can you _ explain its rare use, while the expression "getting worse” is so common and so much clumsier ? Since we can turn the adjective "better” into a verb and speak of “bettering” a thing, logic would give ns the same right over tile adjective "worse.” "To worsen” is recognised by the Oxford Dictionary; and iMt were' not, it is recognised by Mr Winston Churchill. When Alfred Do Musset was accused of using in something he had written an expression that was “not French,” his delightfully audacious rC ply was “It may not have been French yesterday, hut it is to-day.”