PERSONAL PARS.

NZ Truth, Issue 139, 15 February 1908, Page 1

PERSONAL PARS.

Madame Dolores is on the Municipal roll.ol Wellington. She owns a property somewhere m KJelburne. Harcus Plimimer is back m Wellington from a sojourn m. Sydney. Actors, artists and" musicians, etc., are accordingly warned* * » • When Bert Royle is happy he looks it. As a general rule, a smile is always simmering on Ms rugged brow, but just now, oh! he is brighter than the man who laughs at his own jokes. Cause why, he has been presefrtefl with some kind of an insect •suspected of being extinct. It is the .whetta, and the ■* kind of -bird it is "Truth" can't say. It was present-; od to Bert by the light-house keeper of the Great Barrier. It now - adorns Bert's very valuable collection of animals, and he is justly proud of . that show. Anyhow, the whetta, a specimen of which has not been seen for fifteen years, is doing nicely, thank you. . . • * * Sergeant • Dale is a policeman who has' been very successful since his arrival m Wellington m getting lffinseirvery well hated. A policemian is riot loyod as a rule, but Dale goes it a. bit too strong. On Saturday week he was/travelling on a New-town car, and when he rang the bell the motorman didn't hear it because he didn't ring it properly. This annoyed him and ho talked to the conductor m such a manner that two ladier. remarked that a ro(an m uniform should set a better example. And so he should Sergeant Dale mustn't think that has a right to bully tram-eondui-tors just because he is Sergeant Dale, or Fail, or whatever it is; m • • ■ ~ ti \ I Many persons are ignorant of the fact that Crown Prosecutor. Myers is not really Crown Prosecutor, but acts m, that capacity for H. D. Bell, >K.C. ; although Myers might just as well be C.P., ! for he,h'as.:;bee ; n" sending prisoners up for ten years, at least, and has been m undisturbed pos ssion. of t'hfi. privilege , for five whole years. Myers convicts the accused m a benevolent manner, quite free from professional prejudice, and be has no fear of desperate discharged criminals lying m wait for his corpus, on dark evenings. In fact, the urbanity of the Crown's representative is so seducing that the majority of convicted persons feel as though "Micky ".had done, them aj personal favor by- putting them up. .. "" ■ - 1 ? * " Captain Batchelor, of Ohristoburch, came to Wellington t'other day to judge Kerr's wdlMng, and to select an athelect: team, and most people m Wellington have deeply regretted the fatet. "Batch." "Truth" loves to be faidhdliarj came up at the expense of the ' Centre and the Council; and "Batch,' 'old boy. was not content with an ordinary bunk, but nothing !but a deck cabin suited him and the Centre refuses to nay the extra ten bob, and thinks Batobelor's got a darned cheek; and whenever -he comes to Wellington again at the expense of . the Centre that body .proposes, to charter a special steamer. Anyhow; what sort of a Captain, is "Batch ? I Excuse our ignorance, but we would dearly love to know. • Police Commissioner Dinnie is ! Scotch, and that ra»ce, riphtly or wrongly, are accused of being slow to appreciate a joke, and if the following, is a sample of joke a Scot is impervious to then it pays to be a Caledonian. In -Dunedin not very many moons ago, a Hebraic firm were m trouble, and Dinnie was interested m the trial and was staying at a swell pubbery. Down to breakfast i one fine morning he came, and was no sooner sea-ted- that he discovered that he had left his gold ring on the 'wash-stand m Ms bedroom. A wait|er was called, and told to promptly secure the jewel and the hash-jup" T ler didn't seem m any great hurry to move and loudly replied, "It's all ' right, sir, the police never come m here." Everybody m the vicinity simnly roared, but the joke was lost on Dfrraae. No wonder either ! • * • ■ ■ Geo. Port his was a victim to the ■Christchurch fixe, but he only lost his temper. It happened . this way. George . arrived m Christchurch the night of the big fire and put up at the Shades _Hotel. Shortly afterwards .two 'Tecs, arrived and demanded to inspect -his luggage. It appears that some sneak thieves had stolen some rolls of tweed from one of the burning buildings and bad carted: it to a Cashel-street hotel, and had deposited it as luggage. The 'Tecs gojb hold of the wrong hotel, and as George was the only arrival with luggage at ' the Shades that night they pounced on him. George got on his dig., of course, and told the D.'s what he thought of them-, which wasn't much, and he eventually had to get on to the Inspector before be could make them believe that he wasn't dealing m shoddy. What "Truth" would like to kiow is how any man with an ounce of brains could mistake a man with George's aneelic face and white locks for a thief.

Ben Fuller's- apolo^v; for a rott«B turn is that it helps to -show up 'the bright /ones. Anyhow, if anyone •wants 'to see Ben look pleasant ask him 'to tell of the adventure of a Tasmanian alleged pressman. • • m ■ ■■ ... - — ....... Perhaps no public seryant has his name printed m the press as often; as Mr T. E. Donne, of the Tourist De- ! partment. Indeed,;T.E:D. is the best ' advertised man m New Zealand. Yet , we find a Manawatu -paper calling him Donnelly and a West Coast ; journal gets ahead of anything; yet by printing .-.•him. ;McDonaVJi* i; .;Th'ey-'ll do it properly one of these " days and make bom "immortal as Madonna. Tommy Ashman, of the Albert,, sent a bottleof whisky .to Day's fiay for the "Truth" . cricket: team on Sunday. "Truth's' lost" its first. match of the season on Sunday. It might be inferred' from this that the loss of the '• match.-, was- due; to 'the^ whisky, but it wasn't,' Tlic' blasted 1 spe'ctpV tors drank "all the whisky so the trouble • must, havel Been/- diie ''to the Day's Bay'witer, or Togo's fleas' ifrir tating the? pitch,' or x something;- <• Left yesterday, for -an -Australian trip for health purposes, Mr Teddy I Kane, of the Colonial Secretary/ s j Department. It us not as a public servant that Teddy comes into con^ tact with Wellington .boys,'' but''" a J.C.W. Co. .wouldn't be complete -i£ Teddy was not on hand and voluntarily assisting at the front. • Anyhow, good luck t : o Teddy,, ami an.-i.ch~ joyatole rest and. a quick return \9 normal health. • • ' ■ m. ■'„'■ Captain McDonald is going to Hobart, and to try and let people- kitojar who Mac. is, "Truth" mentions fiat he is the adjutant of the' district aixA •runs the Scottish -fcrij^e>;./.o* v :whait~ev^er it is. .; Nobody really-cares tupptjncVii' MtjDonal'ft „Is. going; or. over, comgs'back,: but the "Times" says Tassy" boys are taking advantage of his trip to send their. .love, etc.,' to their pals m Slowfoart'. Thi3 is The sickening stuff. Wellingiion dailies call personal. Perhaps if Beery Bill sent his beary regards across the Tasniah. there would bo something worth chronicling. Anyhow, to hell with McDonald, and when he goes a Way next time he shouldn't make so much fuss about it. ■The result s* of Queensland elections to hand this week show, among other things, the "chance" Philpites, oreven Kidstonites, have of ever capturing one Labor constituency, viz., thfit of Clermont m Central Queeasland. Since Labor sprang into b»ing as a political factor, -a matter ©I probably twelve years, Clermont has persistently said • "Yes?' to the- candidature of V. B. J; Lesina, whoj 'OS few years back, was the , -youngest member: m the Queensland LegislaAssembly. Joe Lesina has . represented J>hc constituency, -for the period: named. Once only- has he been opposed and he simply, flew m, his election expenses amounting to something like. £12 10s. Joe is a journalist, and ' his style is bright and keenly satirical. He is a thdnrnrthe side of the plute push, who \yoiild willingly hang the irascible Laborite" if it were .possible. "Agin" everything, i like a lost soul l if there is nothing to oppose, Joe Lesina is probably unique m the fact that he has been returned unopposed more times .than any other Parliamentarian : m Australasia. It might be mentioned as a fact, intei'esting'oi- otherwise, that Joe h. was for a long time attached to the staff of Brisbane "Truth." Indeed, he might still be conducting the political cdlmrans. Every par is a bullet foe somebody or other. • * * John Fuller, senr., the G.OJVL at thp head of circuit affairs, dropped m on "Truth on Wednesday last. H« was only staying for a day or so; having booked South, where he is going to have a rest prior to a twelve months' jaunt round 'this torrestial sphere- John, senr., is well on* m years, but he is a well-preser-ved, benevolent-looking gent, wh° might easily be taken for a sky-pilots m disguise. He promised. to let "Truth" know of his doings m tna Old and New World, and what is more, promises to personally investigate John, junr's assertions that the Jap. is arming to swoop down ott New Zealand. -John, senr.,. has- na time for modern would r be "oets, and spares not even John the yoimeßfj and his "oweds" to Egmont.,^ He hatf absolutely no time for versifiers «( the "Mt. Cook, let's have a look" variety and the only time on record that he lost his temper and was. in a homicidal frame of mind was when one well-known Wellingtonian mod* liquor and shikker chum up w it'll Hjqlritika. The possibility of no r«r«» ncr being available to guarantee k verdict of justifiable homicide restrained John, senr. Anyhow,; "Truth" Washes him a ploasatftl holiday, and trusts that Ms years will be lengthened m this wicked world,, and that the name of Fuller will continue to be the household word m New Zealand that it is*