UNCTUOUS UPTON.

NZ Truth, Issue 136, 25 January 1908, Page 5

UNCTUOUS UPTON.

THE WILES OF A WANGANUI WASTER. A Bible- Banger's Scurvy Trickery. A Santimonious Sharper's Schemes. When an individual, particularly if he be of the Methodist belief, sets up m business, and, moreover, succeeds, he is regarded as a> sound and successful captain of industry, and is revered as a godly man- "Truth," however, always scents a rat, and thinks loudly on hypocrisy and is not surprised when it learns that the godly unctious man -is a mean skunk, if not a consummate scoundrel. The Methodist business man is at heart a humbug, a sordid shekel snarer, and a sweater of the 'worst- possible type, who would run his own mother m harness if he thought he could show^ a profit on her. Now, it was only the other day "that "Truth" heard a tale concernine- one John Upton, of Wanganui, who is a commission agent, the representative of the Wertheim Sewing machine concern, and also representative of the British and Continental Piano Co., and to make no mistake of our man's identity, this paper desires to say that John Upton is of the Methodist jbelief, and even pounds the "word" •m one of the Wanganui gospel grinderies, Which, to be still further plain, is of the Primitive Methodist variety. Personally, we don't know him. We don't kpow if lie is clean shaven or has whiskers, or whether he affect's the shaven upper-lip, whether he is bald, or inclined that v way, m fact, "Truth" doesn't know him, and if we did we'd cut him m thc street las hemp: a ro,tter and absolutely no class whatever. He certainly is a , MEAN, STINGY, AND CONTEMPT--1 IBLE CUSS, who tries to be smart, and whose smartness might yet earn him the sort of trouble hypocrites fall into m the long run, and when everybody learns the kind of Dr. Jekyll and Mr Hyde- life he^ has lived. Why it should so happen' that the reputed keen business m<an is always a "godly" man, and under the cover of the pulpit does the most contemptible and currish things is something ordinary mortals can never understand. Anyhow, "Truth" wishes to deal with Upton, just because he is- a godly man and a hypocrite m the bargain. Now, as a commission agent and not as. a Primitive Methodist'gospel-grin-der, Upton, two or three months ago engaged a youth, a- minor, as a sort of canvasser. The terms were "loardly," and. no doubt, to Upton's way of thinking, liberal. The youth was to receive £1 per week, and 10 per cent, commission on all sales, provided they amounted to £75 per month. Now, anybody who knows anything of Canvassing for sewing machines and- pianos will perceive the almost insuperable task . set the youngster, who entered into . the agreement with the Bible-banger, of which more anon, and out of tlie paltry £1 per week wages, the budding "drummer " was obliged to pay his own travelling expenses. Upton entered, into '-an agreement with a minor, and the agreement- was riot worth the naper it was written on. It was, m legal phraseology, void, hut TO SHOW THE SORT OP SCAMP Upton is, it, will be interesting to note how he proceeded about the signing of these . documents. There was the agreement and a duplicate. The! boy was to . sign one and Upton the other. The lad signed his and handed it to Upton, and expected Upton to sigh his and pass it over to him. Later on, when the youth looked up what he imagined was the agreement, he found he held the one signed by himself. However, it came about he got nothing m the shape of an agreement bearing unctious Upton's moniker. The lad seems a pushing sort of individual and did a fair amount of business, but all the time he was with the sealer he only received £9 ss, out of whioh £3 4s Id was disbursed m expenses. About Christmas time, the lad was advised to go home* but Upton did not want to lose such a pushing young man, and wrote to the youth's people that he was doing . so well, the Lord be praised, arid hogging -that tho youngster should be allowed to. stop on witS him. The lad determined on going, and Upton then showed his Methodist teeth, and wrote a threatening letter to the boy's people demanding £6 14s H, which life declared was the amount he was out of pooket fvhrough the- youngster's transactions, but which sum he did not get. Now, Upton appears} to be a particularly DIRTY SORT OF CHRISTIAN CUR, and a liar into the bargain. He tricked the boy over the valueless agreements. The Co 's business must have proved profitable for Upton, but it was damned expensive for the boy, who found it impossible to do business to the. extent of £75 per month, impossible to live on £1 per week and pay his travelling expenses out of that miserable pittance. The result was he. got into debt, and had to ' send to his relatives for money to get out of debt. Anyhow, a friend advised the youth to demand the £3 odd travelling expenses from the sweater, if. not swindler, bur certainly sharper, and "Truth" does not knovir Whether the Bible-banger made good. It does know, however, that Upton. was shown a letter m which he was called a rotter and a lot of bad names, which- Upton certainly earned. .■ "Truth" has no time for Upton's sort, they're found out m the long run. And the more one learns of their dirty doings, the more putrid they appear. . Anyhow, Upton is now pilloried by "Truth" for the shicer and sweater and sharper that he is, and the • exposure will do the world far more good than does his miserable mouthings from the Methodist pulpit.