JIM THE MILKER.

NZ Truth, Issue 104, 15 June 1907, Page 6

JIM THE MILKER.

.Tfiere has been high: jinks m- me humble home lately, 1% appears from information received that Durham and Alderney went down to see the buckjumping exhibition the other; night, and meeting- a bloke clad m tights with boyangs round his . Jaigs they) axed him i£ he was going to ride the mule. Mule, s^id the cove; do yer know: who 1 am,. Yer little vagabonds,- let me tell yer that I am Freddy Wellington, alias Wallis, and if yer chase me down town I'll give yer a bash on the year. So be off.. Durham being a smart lad, says to the old coot, if, yer abuse- me any more I'll, bust yer; come on and fite yer shovel-nosed shark j you and yer Fred Wellingtons and yer Wallaces, who bled with Scot's what hae, and be damned to the whole push of ye, Kill Joy North, Jim Gibba and all and everyone of you. Here Durham hit Freddy a lick over .the nose with a dead rat. Then a de-* putation consisting of Freddy Wallace, Jim Gibbs and Kill Joy North' came to me house complaining about our children, crying with a lpudi voice, if. yer don't stop yet" kids fromchasing us yer will see them' in quod! very <sjopn.-" Do yer. know that I sent up a' 'woman on the treadmill f on kissing a cove at Oxford ? This was the ! end, for before I could get a cut m ffche fosse's wife made a feirigtit to the right, smi'tdng Holy Moses Kill Joy North on the nose, smashing it as flat as i yer hand, .with her right she hit Freddy Wallace on the jaw, while -I lifted Jim Gibbs on the toe .of me boot clean into the street. TThen Durham and Alderney] chased and* pelted these caribn crows with cold potatoes. .1 hear that- they, are going to summond me and the bosses wife. Let them ! Tommy, Wilford can deal with suqh cattle. Madame was greatly ■ excited' after, this exhitition, and fell on me' neck .weeping, saying oh dear Jim yer will) see that the parsons -will persecute us even into strange cities, but yer gave Holy North .a fine lift: After we went to bed I had to refresh her with whiskey. As she sobbed on me breast she cuddled me, and "said, Jim, yer a fine man. I- bless Gord that we made off from the boss, a lo 'tinker Jim, yer will < have to go up to Taranaki and bash hinv He wont go for a divorce, so me andi you must live m open adultery, people in' the first flight of Society, it is a public scandal. Yer" bash the boss. So I am bound to go to Taran&ki and do it. • I expect th.a/t they -will put me m the , jus, but 1 yer can take it from me that, if they do I'll knock hell out of v the beak as soon as I get out.. This is no reflection on any cove on the bench, nor do I wish to intimidate them, but if I can lay hold of the but end of a rail yer will hear that justice has -been done. When things like this , disturb yer domestic happiness everything goes wrong. Madame, for instance, wants to no why shopwalkers, draffers, . window-dressers, and parsons have such "red noses. Are they drunkards ? Well. I'm damned if I no. Go to slo&p. So with a long drawn sigh she slumbered on jne chest." Let me fell yer that she (Madam Sharkey) is the finest woman on Gord's earth. Jf.yer even seed the outlines of her figure it would make yer "nash yer teeth. By crips it is me that is the lucky man. XX : ■ JIM THE MILKER/