CHRISTIAN CHRISTIAN.

NZ Truth, Issue 78, 15 December 1906, Page 4

CHRISTIAN CHRISTIAN.

1 — ; — o>— , — :— HISXRONK CONCEPTION OF __£ •^^W^^i^j^SS;-.^.': Wants Housekeeper to Share One-roomed Domicile. One Woman Who Wouldn't. A. few days ago; a white-haired, tottery old Dutchman waddled into a Wellington labor office. He was escorted by ' a younger man who, owing to the old 'uff's slender knowledge of English, acted as a intermedium t between him and the employment agent. Christian Christian was the old man|s name, and -it 'appeared that he was > m search of a housekeeper. He explained, with the assistance of his pal, that he resided . m the vicinity of the Upper Hutt. He had plenty of money and a nice house, he said, but he felt lonely like o 1 niehts and wanted a housekeeper to look after him. Could the employ-, ment. ajirn't fill the aching void, was what his mission 'amounted 'to. The labor agent thought it could be done; and when Christian Christian ad%ed to the tale of his fine house and STORE' OF GONCE a mournful prognostication that he anticipated handing m his gun shortly (he's over 1$) and that when that sorrowful event happened, his new housekeeper would receive his home and. fortune as a parting token, the labof agent was sure there would be no difficulty m filling the billet. So old Christian Christian wandered out into the fresh air, and returned later when he was formally introduced to a middle-aged person who was willing to take up her abode at the Upper Hutt as housekeeper. The amorous old Dutchman eyed the candidate for his hearth and home, and m his broken English ejaculated the equivalent of "Just a little bit of alright !" All he seemed anxious about was whether the lady thought she could get to like him, and she, • bearing m her mind's eye probably the noble mansion at the Hutt, and the fortune, answered m the affirmative. So it was all fixed up and the new housekeeper was to journey forth by a certain train. Old' codg.ee Christian promised to have a trap to meet her at Upper Hutt station, and she went alon<i with -the impression firmly m her mind that she was ON A. GOOD WICKET, SURE. The first fly m the ointment became apparent shortly after the housekeeper's arrival , Christian was there to meet her, and suggested tea at the hotel. Hither they hied, and sat them down to a meal. Lady noticed habitues of the hotel seemed very amused over something, but didn't worry over that, until, the meal over, they proceeded outside. There some felicitous bystanders proceeded to bei spatter her with rice. Deeming it 'somewhat strange, the housekeeper made inquiries if that was the method customary m Upper Hutt of welcoming ladies. The party interrogated sent a cold shivver down her spine , though, when he replied that old Christian Christian had told them ■ he .was bringing home his bride ! This was rather AN EYE-OPENER FOR THE "BRIDE" | but she thought she might as well see I the business through. So she got into ! the trap\ which was a dray belong- , ing to somebody else than the dubious •

Dutchman, and they drove oft to tlie mansion ! Apparently something had happened to the domicile since chronic Christian had last seen it. He distinctly specified it as being a fourroomed house, with a line view. The view was there alright, but three rooms out of the four must have floated away into thin air, for -the building which he now claimed as his [very own was a one-roomed shanty, ' not including the chicken-coop reclining gracefully against one wall. By, this time the housekeeper had mentally resigned the visionary fortune she had conjured up m her brain. She asked Christian which was her room. He said that one was. Subsequent inquiries proved that that room wag designed for the housekeeper's room, Christian Christian's room, drawingroom, dining-room, kitchen and scullery. Needless to say, the lady from Wellington returned to the Empire City the same evening, but not before old Christian had been told what she thought of him. -Apparently the Dutchy didn't understand, for, as the disappointed woman left, he, entreated her to see that labor agent for him, and get him to send out a nice, young girl, willin?, presumably, to act the "old man's darling" m that en> roometl mansion at Upper Hutt.