MERELY MARY ANN.

NZ Truth, Issue 72, 3 November 1906, Page 5

MERELY MARY ANN.

A' lady m Hobson-street, whos usually keeps a oook and two house" maids, and is looked upon as a considerate mistress, had no answer ten her advertisement; as the cirls are attracted to Christchurch," (vide, evening paper), which suggests the following lines :— I do not think I ever knew A task more troublesome, did you/ Than just now trying to obtain v A cook-maid of the genus "plain." Nor is it without cause I speak, I've sought one since last Tuesday; week ; ■ • '■ . If I've seen one I've seen a score, And dread to think I may see more. Behold me, then, deep sunk m gloom* Awaiting m my morning room— Ttos cook, who, just to show 1 hec power, / V V Had kept me there full half an hour. And when at' length I raised my head I saw a woman stout and red, . ~ Who, with an air and loud attire, Oalmly came up and took a chair 4 "You wants a cook, mum," she commenced \ (Our talk, of course, must be condensed), . -s ' ' •-. "Now, first of all I'd like to know What 'twas that made your last one go?" „.■-■ Past failures had my courage cooled,, And my warm indignation schooled ; And so I mildly said that she Had gone away to married be. "You're sure," that- woman rude replied, "That there was\ nothing else besiderYqu're sure it was not 'cause she shirked 1 •; . . All through of /her being overworked?" ■;-..• Says I ' "My family is small, And 'twas not as you think at all.'* "Oh, very well, now, come," says she. "I really think we may agree." "There's carpet on the kitchen floor?'* I > nodded, and inquired : "What more?" "You'll mind, of course, your own djff'&llT'S x * ' ' ' And never set a foot downstairs." "I hope my master's not inclined To stay out late at night— for mind I'm not the one to sit up late And cook" hot suppers— let me state: "And if he's fond of devilled bones He'd better get them out, not try (And here she winked the other c~e) To get them from the likes of I. "And I takes music lessons, pleaseNothing would make me give upj these ; And you'd pot mind— -I likes youn manner— If I took them on your pianner. "You'd not expect that I could eat That trash— they call it frozen meat,, For, mum my appetite quite starts At anything from frozen parts !" Say mistresses, "If this shall be While there exists the^ cheap Chinee ?. Say, servants, if this risk you'll run? For when the Mongols come you're done!"