ODDS AND ENDS
First Actor: "I am getting along. Somebody has named a cigar after me this Chylstmas." Second Actor : '?I hope it draws better than you do." - "And," concluded the meek husband; after he had at last Ventured a mild protest, "I would halve you know, Mary, that quite often I am not a man to be trifled with 1” "Your haii' wants cutting badly, sir," said- a barber, insinuatingly, to a customer. 'No, it doesn’t,'' replied tile mah in the chair; "it .wants butting, nicely. You cut it badly last time.’’ - “I see your nephew has found his fate at last, Colonel. I hope it is a lovematch.” Colonel: "Of course it is. When a girl has got ten thousand ia year, you can’t help loving her.” : Schoolgirl (at the telephone): "Father, do colne home. I’ve mixed the plugs in some way. The wireless set is covered with frost, and the ice-box is singing, 'Shqw Me the Way to’ Go Home’," “Henry," said Mrs Glipping, in tearful tones. “Well, my dear!” replied Henry, looking up from the paper. "What is it ? - "If I were to die to-night, would you marry again?" "Not to-night." He rushed into the room where his wife was sitting. “My.dear," he said, excitedly, "gu69s what's happened! InI telligence has just reached me- — "Well, thank heaven,. Harry!” she replied, rushing to embrace him. "I think, George," said Mrs Bints t.o her husband, "I'll ask the people next door to have .dinner with us on - Sunday." "Why?” asked the husband, “Well, the butcher left their meat hero by mistake, and it seems only fair.” ■ Examiner: "What is ordinarily used a« a ooriduotor of electricity?" Pupil (thinking hard): "Why, er-r-r-r- — "Correct. Now tell me what is the unit of. electrio power?” N'The what, sir?” "Very, good! That will do!” Professor (to hij old cook).: You have now been in my service for; twenty-five l years As a Toward for your true and faithful/service I am naming a new bacterium/after you.—Klods Hans (Copenhagen).
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Bibliographic details
New Zealand Times, Volume LIII, Issue 12394, 13 March 1926, Page 19
Word Count
335ODDS AND ENDS New Zealand Times, Volume LIII, Issue 12394, 13 March 1926, Page 19
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