Page 3 Advertisements Column 1

New Zealand Times, Volume XXXVI, Issue 6282, 31 May 1881, Page 3

[advertisement.] MY ! TO THE EDITOR OF THE HEW ZEALAND TIMES. Sir, —I am instructed to forward the enclosed for publication.—l am, &c., Thos. 0. Williams, Secretary to the ex J.P. The ex-J.P. sat in Court, looking remarkably wellafterthelong vacation. Turns over the papers, “The people of Wellington appear to be all asleep ; all but those jolly fellows with their Manawatu-Fdxton Railway. Expect £400,000 from the people of England : give them an order on the moon for the interest. Then go to hear those two excellent creatures, Messrs. Stock and Harvey, re ‘ miserable sinners ;’ serve them right. Then that High Commissioner of the Western Pacific, too. High fiddlestick ! Make him High Commissioner of the Poles. Look after the interests of the poor little bears. Must mind they don’t bite him. Want waking up. Let us see. Whose turn is it! About time the clergy got a rubbiug down ; getting rusty.” Turns over some copies of the Church Chronicle. “ Weak ; very weak. W' nt a good editor. Much better engage one of the wicked. Give him a good salary. Write them something worth reading.” Looks at the reports of the meetings of the Standing Committee. “ Short of funds. Told them so. Think they know better than the Court. Gross contempt of Court. Must warm their synodical jackets for them. Mr. Inspector, go bring me the members of the Wellington Diocesan Synod.” They all come trooping io, expecting another treat of coffee and buns. “Mr. Inspector, call over their names to see that they are all present.” “ Bishop of Wellington, president.”—“ Here.” “ Von. Archdeacon Stock.”—“Here.” “Rev. Harvey.”— “Here.” “Rev. Coffee.”—“Here.” “Arch. Thorpe.”—“Here.” “Rev.Fancourt.”—“Here.” “ Rev. Tudor." —“ Here.” “ Rev. Bal’aohey.” “Here.” “Rev. Towgood.”—“Here.” “ Rev. White.”—“ Here.” “ Hon. Pharazyn, M.L.C.”— “ Here.” “ Barraud.”— “ Here.’” “Bowies.”—“Here.” “Levin, M.H.R.”— “Here.” “ Beetham, M.H.R.”—“Here.” “ Col. Leckie.”—“ Here.” “ Lowe, major.”— “ Here.” “ Lowe, minor.”—“ Here.” “ Dr. Spratt.”—“ Here." “ Didsbury.” —“ Here.” “ Quick.” —“ Here.” “ Lysaght.”—“ Here.” “ Halcombe.”—“ Here.” “ Capt. Hewitt,”— “ Here.” “ Now, young men, the Court is going to take you all for a short cruise.” The ex-J.P. steps outside, taking with him the members of the Synod. Presently birds are seen hovering above and around. Presently, again, the ex-J.P. is seen seated in his armchair upon the top of his mighty billow, the members of the Synod all sitting upon footstools. The ex-J.P. orders the billows to be steered in a southerly direction at quarter speed. The ex-J.P. gives a note to one of the birds who flies away, accompanied by many other birds, towards Wellington Heads. Presently the birds are all seen returning with Parker, his organ, and members of St. Paul's choir. “ Now, young men, what do you say for a cruise to the South Pole ? ” The members of the Synod, especially the clerical moiety, pale, some whiten —have a lively recollection of a former visit to the Pole. Arch. Stock pleads that the weather having been very dry and warm lately, ft visit to the Pole might be detrimental to the health of the members of the Synod ; in such case, the loss would be a colonial rather than a diocesan loss. “Very good, very good ; let you off this time." The ex-J.P. orders the billows to be steered at full speed across the ocean, thence back to Wellington Heads—the cruise to occupy half an hour. “ Now, young men, we will commence with a hymn.” Parker gives the preliminary— The Church’s one foundation Is Jesus Christ her Lord ; She is his new creation, By water aud the word. From Heaven He came to save her To be His holy bride ; With His own blood he sought her, And for her life Ho died. ,