ALWAYS ASLEEP

New Zealand Mail, Issue 1716, 18 January 1905, Page 10

ALWAYS ASLEEP

"Joe, Joe!’* said the stout gentleman, when the citadel was taken, and the besiegers and besieged sat down to dinner. “Damn that boy I He’s gone to sleep again. Be good enough to pinch him, sir—• in the leg, if you please; nothipg else wakes him. Thank you! Undo the hamper, Joe.”—'"Pickwick Papers.” The fat boy, Joe, whose amazing talent for sleep was the source of so much trouble to Mr Pickwick’s friend, has a present-day rival, the existence of whom was revealed at a Bond on police court recently. “What am I to do with my husband, please?” inquired the modern sleeper’s wife, a neatly-dressed, woman of about thirty, carrying a child in her arms, as she stepped forward and looked expectantly to the magistrate. ""What does he do?” returned Mi* Mead. “That’s just it,” said the applicant, with an eloquent gesture. “He does nothing. He’s always asleep. He’s asleep now. I left him asleep when I came out here at half-past nine. I shall find him asleep when X get back.” The stipendiary asked if the husband had no work to go to. "No; he’s too sleepy,” said the woman. “He lost his job and now he don’t go to look for anything.” "Is he ill?” Mr Mead next wanted to know. "No; the doctor says there’s nothing wrong with him.” “Drink P” "No —only sleeps. The perplexed magistrate did not see what he could do in the matter. The wife suggested a separation. “If you find yourself obliged to leave him 1 could grant you a summons,” she was told. not tell him you have applied to a magistrate? The applicant shook her head. "I woke him,” she said, ‘to tell him I was coming here, and he only turned round and went to sleep again. He s been like that for a year or more.” “Well, it’s time he woke up,” admitted the stipendiary. “Take a summons.” Whether this prescription will have the desired effect remains t»o be seen.