A MODERN LITANY

New Zealand Mail, Issue 1536, 7 August 1901, Page 58

A MODERN LITANY

The place of honour in the late Professor Blackie’s “Dav Book,” just edited by his nephew, Archibald Stodart-Walker (Grant Richards) is given to a “Litania Nigelli.” Here are a few of the phrases in the Litany, which may J give an idea of the rest:

From beggars for my ’clients, from foola for my worshippers, J and from sluts for my servants, Good Lord, deliver me.

From the impertinence of youthful critics, from -the vanity of small poets, and from the unreasoned giggle of silly young ladies, Good Lord, deliver me.

From the barren subtelty of lawyers,- from the slippery shiftiness of politicians, and from the blind restlessness or calculated selfishness of commercial speculators, Good Lord, deliver me. From a man that simpers sweetly, from a woman that laughs loudly, and from a young woman ambitious to olay tha young man, Good Lord, deliver me.

From a scholar who smells of books, from a sportsman who smells of horses, and a mother who smells of babies, Good Lord, deliver me.

From genius without sense, from talent without love, and from creeds without humility, Good Lord, deliver me.

From a spinner of fine phrases, a spinner of senseless rhymes, and a woman wh® paints, Good Lord, deliver me.

—ln a clever vein 'of satire is the following:

1. Hate all men. 2. Suspect vour friends, if you have any® 3. Envy your friends, if you have any. 4. Despise your opinions. 5. Waste your substance. 6. Steal your neighbour's substance. 7. Never speak the truth unless you ar© sure men won’t believe you. 8. Never confess that you are in the wrong.

9. Always follow ifie fashion. 10. Never be generous except-when yotl have reason to believe that by giving a penny in one direction you may gain 3> shilling in another. 11. Give your passions full swing. 12. Think everybody a humbug except yourself. .. , 13. Call everything “bosh except your own business.

14. Divide all mankind into two classes, the "clever and the stupid, J or the strong and the weak, of which the latter is naturally the tool and the slave of the former.