"SMILES."

New Zealand Mail, Issue 1217, 28 June 1895, Page 24

"SMILES."

Care to our coffin adds a nail, no doubt, And every laugh so hearty draws one out

Three punters recently had a strong argument about the name cf the steeplechase horse Booties.

No. 1 punter said " 'e 'eerd a cove say 'is name was Booties !"

No. 2 said, " Well I know that Booties don't spell Booties, cos it spells Bootless, and. if 'is name was Booties it 'ud be spelt Bootels !":!

No. 3 said, " What's the good or argyin' like that, ain't I backed 'im many a time, and 'is name is Bottles !"

As they each claimed to be correct, one of the disputants appealed to a racing man, but got rather slightly mixed by remarking : " I say Mr , wots, the pronunciation of Bockles I"

First Eacegoer (watching the preliminary in a Hunters'Bace) : "Here comes a gentleman rider he's allowed five pounds."

Second Eacegoer: "What- 'im allowed five pounds ? Why, that's Squire Broadbent, the richest man in these ? ere parts. What do they want to allow 'im five pounds for ?"— Sporting Sketches.

Infuriated up - country horseowner : " Why the didn't yer come at the ' bend ?' " Jockey : " What! Come and leave the blessed 'orse behind ?" — Bulletin.

When Simms, the coloured jockey with the American team of horses in England, was going out on Eau Gallie for the Crawfurd Plate, which he won at the Newmarket Meeting, " Joe" Cannon, pointing to Simms, remarked to his brother trainer James Hewitt, "He looks a bit lonely wiihout a banjo 1"