Round THE Corners

New Zealand Mail, 22 April 1887, Page 17

Round THE Corners

Can’t imagine why Mr Justice Richmond should have such a “down” upon the press. He does rub it into newspaper men whenever half an opportunity—let alone a whole one—offers. Only last week he lectured the New Zealand Times about loose paragraph writing, implied that the little thing that so excited the ire or cupidity of the plaintiff in the libel action was a mistake, but that, aa facts happened to bear it out, it was all right for favorable judgment. “ Unfortunately, however, it was true ” —those were the words Judge Richmond regretfully uttered. You seemed real sorry that the newspaper writer was in the right. Now, why this ttiusnesß ? What has the press done to so embitter one that t.be pres 3 is never tiled of holding up as the head and front of the j udicial profession in New Zealand, If anything happened to Judge Richmond there would be a press lament from one end of the Colony to the other, and yet the Judge can’t see it ; seems to regard the press aa his natural enemy. In that Rowberry v Harris libel case he couldn’t, or wouldn’t, see that the defendant did what he did in the purest publicspiritedness. It was an unsavory subject that his paper tackled ; and there was no profit to be made out of it; the paper took upon itself the functions of tho Inspector of Nuisances ; and was subjected, in consequence, to the annoyance and imposition of a libel action. Surely a Judge of the Supreme Court might have let fall a crumb, or two of comfort for a party in a case before it who wan almost certain to lose whichever way the case went. But no, the Judge seems to have an instinctive abhorrence for the Fourth Estate, forgetting how much he, and others, who revel iu the plentitade of freedom, owe to that same source.

And the best of the joke was that while in the act of lecturing the press for loose writing he, (the Judge) grossly slandered the makers of lollipops ; accused ’em, poor things, of aaulterating with plaster-of-paris. Now that was horrid, and must have filled with sorrowful indignation the hearts of the sweetie shopkeepers in tho Colony. But some of us saw how the Judge had stumbled. He was living in the past, a generation and a half back when the little Richmonds destroyed the enamel of their teeth and tbe coats of their stomachs by devouring the lollipop atrocities of that dark ago when a preparation of lime was cheaper than sugar. Doubtless he has a vivid ve* collection of the pukes and black draughts of that, alas, truly bavba-ous time, the effect of gypsumed toffy and brandy balls. Possibly hie dislike to the latter day newspaper press may originate in a similar cause too intimate acquaintance with a depraved, unprincipled press of the dark days of lime and sugar. The Judge however, made th s amende honorable to the lollipop makers by a sort of apology, but nary a word of apology or explanation has he tendered the newspaper press. Well, well, let it slide.

“ A Stink and its Consequences ” would have been a capital heading to the libel action I have alluded to. Because the Inspector of Nuisances was wanting, the poor Times was dragged into the thick of a variety of intolerable smells ; it presented the odorous facts for the benefit of the public, and was at once singled out for an attack by an indignant fish-seller, aided by a profound and erudite lawyer. For sundry months the writ lay like a nightmare on the unfortunate defendant and his witnesses, two of whom had to be dragged away from their distant occupations to attend Court. That same Court with a real Judge on the Bench, sat a whole day over the affair, and then the party who won wept as he gazed upon the field of battle, so meagre was the baggage of the enemy. There seemed every probability of the bare victory being all he would get for his pains. No plunder, nary. The witnesses plaintiffly demanded their costs and defendantly expected ’em. The Judge made a little joke out of one of ’em who dealt in dust, and that was the only glint of light that illumined the Cimmerian blackness of the proceedings. ’Twas a melancholy affair altogether, and a fit outcome of stale oyster shells and fish guts. “Not weel may the keel row, but berry row my keel, oh.”

The Evening Press behaved like a real brick over the action—spoke out and up as it can do. But, Lord bless you, Press, old man, what would be the consequence if some newspaper writers got a bit more tether than they have already ? There would be no living for them. And not only writers, but there are some paper proprietors, too, I am afraid, who would be prepared to take a dirty advantage if one came in their way. God help the poor devil who came under the ban of their displeasure. No law for him, let alone justice. The Courts would be barred to him, and his only resource would be the revolver and the arm of flesh. Aye, a law compelling defendants to “ pony up ” before the Court could open to them would induce personal justification in the street. Some journalists would soon “lose the number of their mess,” and that would be a sad loss to the community, and

some proprietors would find themselves going over the standing part of the fore sheet mighty quick. Brother journalists, the argument lies in a nutshell. All you have to do is to write carefully, and that will enable you to safely get at every nuisance and abuse going. Be mighty general, and not too particular, and thank the gods, the while, that the law against libel is as stringent as it is, for it saves us all from falling into the slums of dirty journalism. The hand writes all the better for a weight on the arm to keep it steady. The press is indeed an engine of fearful power if worked indiscreetly and corruptly, and could be too easily converted into the worst enemy of the public, instead of, as it outht to be, and as a rule is, the public's best friend. That stink could have been got over without the slightest trouble if it had only been approached the right way. And then, oh horror ! to think that “ the poor old man ” (thedefendant), should have been, as “ Puff ”of the Press puts it, influenced by a ‘scents” of duty. “Why, hang it ana dash it ” such an atrocious pun was enough to put him right off bis balance, and make him stout with indignation. The writer deserves to be waked for his pains in some lonesome cot in a noisome field. No punishment is too terrible for such direful exhibitions of brain-softening.

Well done, Mr Deacon. You are not the first of the good colony of Victoria’s commoners who declined a knighthood, but I think you are the second. Wasn’t it Francis who went before you ? And you twain shall now be the foremost of Victoria’s citizens, for you know now to clearly distinguish between the real thing and shoddy. Plain and sterling in your worth, you did not require garish garnishing to set you off. Phew ! Colonial titles are beginning to stink. A certificate of merit has been awarded exhibitors in the “ Colinderies,” as the colonies and India Exihibition was termed, and some of ’em have found their way' to New Zealand, and even Wellington. Well, they are certificates and no mistake. The artist of the thing fell into violent labor, and brought forth a monstrosity. Never saw such figures and grouping in my life It’s a downright disgrace to the occasion. The next time anything of tbe kind has to bo done in the Old Country, I would strongly recommend that the doing of it be entrusted to Messrs Bock and Cousins of this good city. New Zealand’s Jubilee Presentation to Her Majesty, in the form of a most lovely album was chiefly the work of that firm, and Mr Kohn, our clever gold and silversmith. And lam not a bit afraid of its losing by comparison with anything else that may ba presented to the Queen on tho eventful 20th of June next. No woDder the season has become dry in New Zealand. This Colony has repelled the rain clouds and Queensland and N. S. W. has attracted them. It seems to hare been raining there for the last twelve months. The account of the Ipswich floods is still fresh in our memory, but it has been raining some since then, that is, if we believe what is affirmed in the Sydney papers* that during the month of March last seventy-two inches of rain fell in the tropical colony ! Six feet of moisture in 30 days! Oh, Pluvius! Wonder the inhabitants ain’t converted into ■quashes. As for New South Wales, the chief city, Sydney, has been half under water. Little boys swimming abouj; in the main streets, &c., &c. ! It is related of a little three-year-old boy that upon seeing, for the first time in his experience, a fretting baby boy being nursed by the mother, he fell into an agony of apprehension. Wringing his bands and bursting into tears he cried, “Oh take him away, take him away ; he don't like it, and give him a clean drink out of a cup.” I sup. pose be termed undalterated unsophistication. What astounding propositions relative to compensation for that Te Aro reclaimation 1 One claimant wants £94,000, and what the others are going to ask we have yet to learn. Well, there is a way out of the difficulty. Unreclaim as fast as possible ; dig out the jolly stuff, and cart it away, and restore the foreshore. There are no buildings on it yet. It isn’t too lato, and it would be a heap cheaper to the ratepayers than to pay alj the claims that may possibly come upon them, that is, if the Compensation Court is likely to grant them in full. Pity religioa won’t keep to its legitimate sphere and let politics alone. Go in for every phase of ethics, oh religion, and decry fashionable sins, but why meddle with the House of Commons ? Who, I should like to know, could bo much more incapable of distinguishing between right and wrong in such a question as Homo Rule for Ireland as a parcel of parsons imbued with the very strongest of prejudices? And yet we hear that three hundred of the Nonconformist kind have been doing their best to hamper constitutional government in England fcy preaching against Ministerial measures. Let the cobbler stick to his last, say I.

I own up to entertaining little or no sympathy with the agitations from time to time raised by the unemployed. We have periodical outcries, which are very soon stilled by the application of a little judicious administration. For the fact is that, given sobriety, industry, prudence, and capability in the case of any working man in New Zealand, he will not feel the pinch of poverty. It is only where vice is associated with labor that the latter fails in its effects, bar always exceptional instances of ill luck. But that much of the uaemployed agitation is the veriest bunkum has been proved in Wellington no later than this week. The outcry was quite prodigious at first. I was confidentially and privately told that four hundred poor creatures were in a state of destitution, but when the Ballar.ce teat was applied, lo and behold they shrunk to a mere nothing ! Fancy only three out of four hundred toeing the line! 'Well, well, may it always be so. ’Twas a try on and its very legitimate result. Ashodeus.