Round THE Corners

New Zealand Mail, Issue 777, 21 January 1887, Page 17

Round THE Corners

I want to know why, if a man was never bothered by creditors, and never tried to avoid a creditor in his life, he found occasion to become a bankrupt? Such a case has occurred; no creditors to speak of—for of course creditors are not worth mentioning if they don’t bother —and yet bankruptcy had to ensue. One of those latter-day irrationalities that no “fella” can account for. Wish my creditors wouldn’t bother me; but regularly at the beginning of every month why them they are “ wid their botherin.” And so I expect it is all round, and they in their turn get bothered some times pretty frequently, perhaps, by acts of insolvency.

There is a great cry out about federation and Imperial Queen’s Jubilee Institutes, and “sich like,” and tall talk about perfecting Imperial federation at all risks, and all the while federation is going on nicely. That is to say r it has been going on nicely for several years past in all those colonies that havn’t slammed the door in the face of the Old Country by the imposition of excessive import duties. Whereever the Old Woman has had a decent chance, and been aided by liberal local enterprise, she has established an excellent footing, and practically bound that particular country to her in the most lasting of all federations — strong mutual commercial interests. And not the commercial interests of a specially privileged class of agents—middle-men—but the interests* of a whole people. And this is being brought about by thatj übiquitous individual | ‘ the bagman.’ And James Macandrew has i had a finger in the pie too. The Direct Steam ; Service business was his scheme. By the way, I’ve never heard that questioned. Julius’ public works and immigration business has been fought and wrangled over enough, but “ Jimmy’s ” never. All the honor of it is laid at his door. Wonder if he borrowed the idea of any one else ? But there, avaunt foul fiend ! get thee behind me such doubts of Jimmy Mac’s immaculateness. ’Tis his and only his ; and as it was through him that the bridge was erected over which bagmen so comfortably travel now-a-days, he is not so very indirectly associated with them, and may, therefore, share in the credit that is theirs, for having brought federation to its present forward condition. For no sooner was New Zealand rendered easily accessible, than the astute mercantile and industrial firms in England dispatched their persecuting fiends to secure business. And we have ’em now, and no mistake. Men of every industrial denomination ready to do business on any terms almost. They swarm through the land, are known of every up-country storekeeper, and it really seems as if we were, by some occult process, brought within speaking and seeing distance of London Bridge and St. Paul s. Small upcountry firms, that formerly were removed many thousand miles away from those centres, . are now, so to speak, brought face to face with them by their agents. The middle-men are out of it, and now a considerable minority of the people of New Zealand are dealing direct at the shops of “Lunnon” town. What’s that but federation, Prince of Wales, and right good federation too ? For not only mere trade relations are established, but quite friendly ones. Fellows who are in the stream of federation I am writing about, and who have established permanent relations with English, but specially with London firms, know how pleasant it is to do business with them, how courteous, accommodating, and liberal the treatment by English business men. It is quite possible for persons who have never seen each other to become quite friendly by the practice of mere correspondence. A good corresponding clerk exercises a potent political influence that he little recks of, when he is engaged in turning his politely flowing commercial sentences. And so the bonds of federation are strengthened and tightened every year, until by-and-bye there will be no sunder, ing them.

That is to say, if common commercial honesty is maintained, and resolute efforts are made to discharge obligations. English firms won’t stand fleecing. But if they develop loyal customers at the end of this world or any other—for I am not at all sure commercial relations will not some day be established with the other members of our solar system—right loyally will they stick to them, and avoid shoddy consignments. The Old Country is still regarded with loving interest by all those who left it —shall I say for their country’s good ? —at any rate for their own—and their children, who never saw the “tight little . island,’ regard it mentally with more veneration than they bestow on anything else. I suppose the colonies will grow to nations some of these centuries ; but, even as children grow to men and women, and are still found under the paternal roof a happy family, even so may the colonies become thoroughly self-sustaining, and yet be close knit to the land they sprang from by a subtle umbilical bond. Better that ten thousand times than to degenerate into rotten republicanism. The glorious muchvaunted United States know all about thatTheir day of purification is in store. I say, Julius, hang it; none of yer bets now. Should think you’d have had enough of that sort of thing, and yet here you are issuing challenges to all and sundry for ten pounds sterling or more. What d’ye mean, sir? Is ifc that you want to give folks to understand you. have a “ tenner ” left to sport with on occasions, or is it the commencement of a well-thought-out system of financing, whereby you will rake in “tenners” whenever you want ’em, and that, you know, is pretty frequent. * Havn’t heard of any one having taken up that

challenge, though I don’t think you have treated me quite fairly in the matter. You might have made nie referee and holder of the stakes. How nice it would have read if you had announced thusly : ** Have deposited £lO with Asmodeus, of the New Zealand Mail. Anyone wishing to cover it can communicate with him.” Now that would have l>een something like, dear boy, and we would have been sworn brothers ever after. Vogel-cum-Asmodeus, what a combination ! 1 No upsetting that anyhow. Another time perhaps, eh? The very essence of Peter the Great’s policy of the future was disturbing causes; the sowing of dissensions among other European powers. Let the latter beware of that vital principle of disruption that Russia is nourishing in secret. Let Germany and France especially beware of the cat’s-paw business. Pity they can’t come to a resolution to bury the hatchet once and for ever, and contest with each other only in the peaceful arena of commerce and industrial pursuits. The Teuton and the Gaul have amalgamated in England, Scotland, and Wales; is it impossible for them to live amicably, cheek by jowl, on the Continent? Another war between the two would be awful, and I much fear that gallant, impulsive, unstable France would be next to wiped out, while the Slav giant stood by grinning, and Britain weeping and powerless to save. The great safety of France lies in the good relations she can maintain with Great Britain, and I fancy this has some time dawned upon her statesmen. It will be well for France if they take it as a light unto their feet.

Joe Chamberlain, the strong man of the English Union Liberal party, has visited Turkey to some purpose. Joseph took a run round that way to get out of the way of politics, and to see, you know, what the Turks were like. He describes them as not “half a bad sort,” and so ingratiated himself with the Sultan that, on his return to his Birmingham home, the latter sent him a tobacco box studded with diamonds. Evidently the Sultan and Joseph smoked the pipe of peace together, and possibly, as the ex J.P. puts it, had a little “wewe ” imbibition, nathless the prophet’s stern prohibition. But Turkey is the land of all others where things flourish on the sly.

No doubt the climate of Wellington is semitropical sometimes, and people, then, put on semi-tropical habits, quite a number of which could be enumerated. I will, however eontent myself with the mention of two. A disgust of animal food and a craving for fruit and vegetables, and a strong—nay, almost irrepressible—desire to throw one’s self headlong at any moment into the cool, refreshing saltwater of the harbor. But then considerations restrain one. First of air it would be disagreeable to go in full-dressed, and social decency would be outraged if one stripped to it. Secondly, certain semi-tropical conditions have to be very seriously considered before the rash bather takes his header. There are sharks ad lib. in Wellington harbor during the hottest (the bathing) months of the year, and quite whoppers at that. “ Port Boyal Tom ’• was a baby, in size, compared to some of the shark cruisers of the New Zealand coast. He was as good as a guard boat during war time in preventing the crews of men-of-war from deserting. No one would risk the swim to the town of Port Boyal (Jamaica) from the harbor because of “Tom.” And, besides, sharks in this harbor of ours there are baracouta—unusually plentiful this year—a fish that will attack a naked bather, and mangles horribly when it bites. And so the harbor, glorious bathing ground as it is, is practically “ tapu ” to the public. Of course, it will be affirmed by some indignant reader of this, that there are two bathing places. Are there ? Come now, I don’t think the sewage-tainted water of the Te Aro end of the harbor much to immerse oneself in, and as for the Thomdon baths! Well it would not cost an enterprising, roving, hungary shark a very great effort to break into them at high water, or an hour or two before and after, while baracouta can get in almost any time. For the baths are shamefully dilapidated, aud it is almost like tempting providence to bathe in them. And that such a state of bathing affairs should prevail in a marine retreat like Wellington is downright scandalous, for the bathing accommodation is next t» nil, and what there is of it is only really availr able when the tide is well in. Thus, mornings and evenings (bathing times) can’t be utilised a great part of every month. Before people go a bathing now they have to consult the Wellington Almanack to find the time of high water !!! Not bad eh, for Wellington Harbor, with its fathoms upon fathoms of depth. And then, again, what can. be said of the neglect of the fair sex by bath providers. What? They can batheevery morning yousay. Bosh—baths for females ought to be “ tapu ” to males. The ladies, God bless ’em, have a right to demand a separate bathing establishment, wherein they can seek comfort and health at any time of the day they choose to go to them. I know of instances at the present moment in which sea bathing would prove of the utmost benefit in a sanitary sense, and yet it may not be attempted because of the dreadful inconvenience involved, and the young girls have been sent away out of Wellington for a change instead. So much money lost to the place ! I am convinced baths would be thoroughly profitable if they are properly constructed and properly conducted. Constructed so as to be fit for use at any time of tide, and conducted so as to be accessible at any hour of the night or day. Is there no one to take the initiative in this matter ? The Harbor Board might do much worse than take it up—in fact, it is the Board’s duty to do so. And let the citizens bear this in mind. Keally good baths for both sexes would constitute potent attractions to country people forcourses of seabathing, than which, in very many bodily ailments, nothing is such a sure restorative. V Asmodeos,