THE LIGHTS OF LONDON.

New Zealand Herald, Volume LXII, Issue 19133, 26 September 1925, Page 4 (Supplement)

THE LIGHTS OF LONDON.

A JOYOUS PILGRIMAGE.

Take a portion of Stephen Loacock, add the same quantity of Jerome K. Jerome, season with a dash of P. G. Wodehouse and Ben Travers; omit altogether the pub-lic-school-cum-university flavouring of A. A. Milne and A. P. Herbert; serve with ary amount of nerve and high spirits, and the mixture will closely resemble "These London Nights," by K, R. G. Browns, {Fisher Unwin). * _ The light-hearted couple depicted by H. M. Bateman on the cover, made it their business to sample the various forms of evening entertainment which London has to offer, ranging from a night at the exclusive Embassy Club. " where I defy yon to throw a fried sole in any direction, Without'hitting a countess," to an morning snack at a coffee-stall, with "very heat steak-pies at threepence, moddom, or quite a new line in spring bums at oa even taore breath-taking figure." One evening they drop in at Bnrroughes' Hall to watch a billiard match and in the '* sacerdotal hush and dim religious light Which were the chief characteristics of the |)lace" they watched " a short spherical gentleman in shirt-sleeves, who lay upon bis stomach and writhed in a very bizarre fcianner." " Who's that V asked Eve. " Hush!" I said. "No real lady ever bellows in a sacred edifice." " But I thought," said Eve, " it took two to make a quarrel and play billiards." I pointed across the dim chasm to where a long thin gentleman in shirt-sleeves tfit somewhat moodily upon a leathern touch, fondling a cue, " There's the other hall of this battle, (raiting till this half gets cramp." Ro " the obsequies proceeded" till at frvst the pair groped their way out to the ttreet where " the roar of the traffic—two (axis and a hav.-ker's barrow—well-nigh Seafened them." On another occasion Miry visit an inexpensive restaurant in Boho " bavins six tables, two waiters, 15':'6 flies, paper lampihades, and a table d note."' As plates tontaining " some dark substance" are placed before them, they observe with luarm that the cat they had noticed in entering is no longer there. " French lookery," says Eve's husband, "has been defined as the art of using up those odds ind ends, which, to the more conservative Liiitish matron, appear—- " Will you be quietsaid Eve fiercely, "You're spoiling my appetite." • " Do you mean to say," I said, astonished, "that you are not yet replete? You've had a sardine, half a radish, a guarter of a pint of soup, the major portion of a white-bait —and still you ask (or more! Have some of this old 'B7 red Ink." After refusing black pudding, " that bng stuff like solidified garden hose, handy br°stunning burglars, or plugging leaks h'the cistern," they threaded their way iack through the dark and scented streets. I And Sohome, as we might say." Not perhaps an absolutely first-class brm of humour, but (shall we say), well Jo in the pass-list..