THE MANIAS OF AGE.

New Zealand Herald, Volume LX, Issue 18577, 8 December 1923, Page 6 (Supplement)

THE MANIAS OF AGE.

With advancing years owns three, manias that no treatment, however harsh, can remove. The first » religH*. This mania frequently breaks oUt m early you (flappers especially are among its victims), and then dies a sudden death 4 re-action ft recurs in its most violent form in old whea it has .been W. to overpower even the vicar himself. / "The second :» food, and a very 2 mania it is. Sometimes at begirfs quite Srlv in the morning with 4ft glass of hot water. M breakfast, one;, pieos- of, toast cooked on * one side only and a . cup o skim-milk > boiled , three toes. At lunch a few . nuts; and a lightly boiled egg. A .tea another glass of hot water, with a stale rusk and no butter. _. • . • . Jal ?' No, thank" yen- It's got sugar m it. •Sugar is fatal. The doctor said so., I know • you won't mind my asking what you're having for dinner . . . Roast mutton and stewed fruit! How unfortunate. I wonder if it would be too much trouble? ... My own special dish, you know—my only meal of the -day. • - the breast of a quail ahd a few freshly gathered strawberries. ... No thanks, no coffee afterwards . J .. a , basin of gruel at nine and an egg-flip in bed. . The third mania is house mania. Women suffer from it more than men, especially in middle age. The only cure is death, the only preventative poverty or a firm husband. \ The, House maniac is for ever engaged ■r in a • fruitless search for perfection. "At last," ' she tells you, for the fifth time in three years, "I have found the perfect house. We move in next week. You really must come and see it. I've altered the • garden, added a wing, and pulled down the stables. My decorator.. is a man with ideas. Expensive, of course .. ~. ' but the bathroom! I j designed the taps myself. . - ■" When you see her next she is moving again, The house, in spite of another wing and a new roof, won't do. It is a failure. Too cold in winter and the soil is wrong. The place is too lonely. To be buried in the country is unbearable. 4 r ! One day she will die and go to Heaven. i When she climbs the celestial stairs with a harp in one hand and an order-to-view in the other the chances are she won't like it., Her husband, one hopes, will be waiting obediently at the gate to show her over. , Well, my dear, and how does it strike you?". . - , . " Fair, Horace, fair. I've seen worse. That house we had at God aiming, for instanceor was it Guildford ? I can't remember. The situation is good, but the central heating— is "Simple Simon," in Eve.