ODD STORIES.

New Zealand Herald, Volume XLIII, Issue 13286, 19 September 1906, Page 10

ODD STORIES.

SURPRISED HER. Ax old lady, who was token to see the sights of London, where her children live, was one night passing, with her grandson, a huge building full of electric light machinery. They paused by abasement window, and looked down among the swiftlywhirling bands and moving wheels. "Is this a factory?" asked the old lady*. "No, grandmother; it's where they make electricity for the electric light. T don't know. exactly hew they do it. but father will explain it to us when we gat home." "What turns the machinery, William," "Steam. I suppose. There's an engine on the other side of the room. I've often seen it from the hack windows." "And does all this have to go on night after night for electric lamps to be lighted?" " e §t grandmother." "Well. I don't want to hear another word about electric lights," said the lady emphatically: "I thought electricity was a gift Of Nature, free to all; but, accordin' to this, you've, to work as hard tot it as if 'twas gas or paraffin." A POPULAR ACTOR-MANAGER. No self-respecting actor will admit that his show is not drawing full houses every night. One of the. profession who -plays juvenile parts recently met a leading man on tho Rialto. Tho loading man was dressed in deep black. There was a wide band of crape on his hat, and he had discarded the patent leather shoes an actor loves for others of a subdued polish that spoke of grief. "What's the matter?" asked the juvenile. "My father is dead." answered the leading man in a heart-broken voice. The juvenile expressed his sympathy. " When did he die?" he asked. "Last week. We buried him to-day— nice funeral," answered the heart-broken voice.' "Large attendance?" asked the juvenile. A smile of enthusiastic delight flashed over the mourner's face. " Large' attendance he cried. "My boy, we turned 'em away."

A DOG FOR WHICH NO LICENSE BEEN TAKEN OUT. One day in spring, when ihe dog licenses were fulling due,' an inspector made up to Pat in the liekl where lie was digging and after various friendly overtures—such as the offer of sup from his flask and a fill from his pouch—delicately broached the inquiry whether Pat knew of any dogs in the town-land which had not paid license,■ Pat answered that lie did, and the sergeant offered half-a-crown for information. Pat replied that.was too little: "But," says he, " il you make it five shillings, and hand me the money down, I'll do better nor tell! you, I'll take and show you the do^'s." The sergeant agreed, so Pat pocketed the crown, and away with them up over the hills till they came to a place where there was a wee lough. "There," .says Pat, "do you see them now? The red one is Jimmy Duncan's and the black one is Neil Mo- I Bride's, and the spotted one's my own ; and there's not. one of than paid a penny vet." I They had all been drowned to a.void the. license. •'.-■■"' i