SNAP SHOTS.

New Zealand Herald, Volume XVIII, Issue 6063, 23 April 1881, Page 3

SNAP SHOTS.

; [FROII THE' ' ■ iWKLASD -WIEKLY SEWS."] That must have been a superb affair, that volunteer review, at'.To Awamutn ; why, a local journal aays that it is Jikely to stagger all England. Most likely. It seems to have staggered Colonel Lyori, who tolJ the brave army a few wholesome truths..... There have been more crammers in the shape of laudation told about tho volunteers than would suffice to seal; the dooin of half-a-dozen worlds. If anybody dares to be critical, he's likely to be in the position of a newspaper reporter named " Siiyder," ' who was lately executed in effigy by some larrikins in uniform. We all know that the volunteer business has become ■ a farce, and why not say so, and set "things' straight ? What with corpulent oM —geirtlemc'n",~and men that mny be, but boys that are, and sundry bad subjects', and want of "drill, the force has gone to the bow-wows. Will somebody favour Mr. Tninkle with the ages, height, weight;.and measurements of the members of the gallant'force? It would'be a pretty show iip as regards the lads who struggle under the weight, of-their'rifles.. We could liave as fine regiments as any in the;world, but we haven't, and the country is wasting ;its money. But, .of course, if the world was watching the army of Te Awamutu it's all right. . .:■■.:..

Some people don't seem satisfied that Frocofli■ hnsn't been: hanged,: and it looks very much as- if he deserved the suspensory process.' The worst of it is you can°t resuscitate a man, so it's a trifle awkward to make a . mistake. " Circiimstancial evidence is the best, if. good, but ,tlie. .worst, if bad. Well, you know, it was good, very good, too good, some of it superlatively good, good enough to have been manufactured expressly for the occasion. • There Iwere the deceased's rings, you know, that couldn't be for.nd and , then were found in a mysterious sort of way. Gentlemen; if ever .yon are on : a jury; doubt evidence that is too sood, and take account of tho whence it comes. More, but in a" pigVwhisper—such a fuss had been made about the Maori's-death; such a parade and fear, and sueh threats by the Maoris, and it was so different to the proceedings when the surveyor Williams was wounded by a Maori, that some of the jury, made -sick by the contrast, and outraged at the humiliation, wouldn't convict on any terms. They .'didn't see why white men should be murdered and wounded with impunity by Maoris, and the whole community be strained and trembling to appease the Maoris by the execution of Procoffi. I say nothing of the morale of the thing, but" it's very natural; the agitation displayed over the Maori's destruction was sickening and cowardly. The Government now know why Proeoffi got off. May it serve as a lesson. . ■ .' ' '

Satan rebuking sin were a trifle to the pions bookmakers conspiring to prosecute the totalisalor. How about the removal of that flag, and the conspiracy to lose the race for Sportsman, as it wouldn't suit for him to win? How about the man hovering in the neighbourhood of the flag, and well known to everybody? How about the man who told thestewards he was in one place, when, as a fact, he was in the paddock? How about the honest Mr. Potter who, with the pluck of a gentleman, came to the front and wouldn't let the public be swindled ? Those men of the book-making fraternity who Viisgrace— their -companions and:- spoil- racing wonld be a good deal the better for a little prosecuting, never mind the totalisator. It's pretty well time the blacklegs amongst the bookmakers were put down, and it is the bookmakers themselves who should take the business in hand. There's not much in the muffin straggles, but it's not the fault of the clergy. They can't help people coming who don't care a straw about the work in band, and attend as they would the theatre or a racecourse. If papas and mammas would but keep the young maidens under their wings, instead of sending them forth from the domestic ark in search, certainly not of dry land, things would be more seemly. There's some excuse for youth, but none for the old lady, who at a recent meeting of the kind combined a most religious exterior with a novel under her shawl, to which she applied Tiersclf assiduously. I've no mercy on that fraudulent old part}-. She, at all events, ought to have known better, and did. Andshe'll listen to the ministrations of , her clergyman with a rapt expression, and not a page of that novel in her eye. You hypocritical old fossil,.l've a great mind to name you. Toby Twinkle.