A HAUNTED LIFE.

New Zealand Herald, Volume XVII, Issue 5656, 3 January 1880, Page 3

A HAUNTED LIFE.

BY BERTHA M. CLAY. Author of *' A Mad Love," ' 1 A. Bitter Atonement." "Thrown on the World," &c. CHAPTIiR XVIII. "I WILL NEVER LOVE ANY ONE BUT YOO." The birdß sang od, bending their bright eyes every now and then on their pretty picture before them, then singing a few notes of congratulation. They were used to such things. This human love seemed nothing in comparison to their yearly wonder of wedded mate, of little ones to teed, and of flights into the golden regions of perpetual summer. Wise, bright eyes looked at tho man and woman seated there; sweet notes floated round them, the birds had some secret sympathy with them ; the tall lines and spreading elms had witnessed many such scenes, yet their leaves trembled in a soft flutter of happiness ; the flowers laughed, the long rush grass trembled, and the two human hearts grew nearer and nearer. He held both her hands in a warm, close grasp ; she made no attempt to take them away. " Lady Vera," he said, " I am going mad. I am sorry, but I cannot help it. Some things are above any man's strength ; to keep my senses now are above mine. " Then do not keep them," she said inglyHis face flamed, his oyes flashed fire j all barriers of fear, of caste, of position were broken down; he thought of nothing then but his passionate love.

"How I wish," he cried, I were any one but juat the man I am. I long for wealth, for title, for genius ; X, who have cared little and thought less for such things, and now I would give my life almost for any one of them." "Tell me why," the said, gently.

Shu mutt have known what he meant, f.nd yet she did not take her white hands from his, nor did she avert her beautiful young face.

" If 1 had any ono gift I should be nearer to you," he cried; "if I had either title, fortune, or genius, I should not be as I am now, miles below you ; if I had any one gift, I solemnly declare that I would move heaven and earth to be nearer to you. Lady Vera, I told you I was going mad, forgive me my madness; a man can die but once, and I court my danger; I will not shun the punishment. You will think I am mad when I tell you that I love you with my whole heart— love you as I am quite sure no man on earth ever loved a woman before. I know it is all in vain. I dream of no return -1 ask none— there could be none. All the strength of my soul, all the love of my heart, all the passion and tenderness of my nature, has been lavished on you, has been poured out like water at your feet, aud I ask only that you

will not send ma away from you in anger. Let me bear my punishment, but do not send •n.e away." _Xhe v<ery passion of his words exhausted him ; lie laid his bumiog face in the* cool, fragrant folds of her dress. "I am no coward," be said ; " but if I could die now I w.nld, and think this one hour of blisscbeaply purchased with my life. I will not*vex you a.ai i, but the fever of love an of lodging has been so long p-nt up in my heart, that I must speak. You do not answer me. Ah, forgive me, because I love you so ! You are a great earl's daughter, 1 am one of the toilers among men, but if I had' been king or emperor, 1 could not have loved you more dearly—forgive my pri sumption. I will go away now that my secret is known. 1 have been happy for a few miuutes, and those few minutes, few as they are, will brighten all my life." His voice died on his lips, but tears filled his eyes ; a great bitter sob rose to his lips. "iiow I love you," he cried. "Great Heaven how I love you ! Why, love like mine is a furnace of pain, a furnace of fire. I am myself my own fever and my own pain. You will never forgive me, I can Dot hope for that; but just this once let me my | heart, let me tell you how much I love you, ] even should the penalty be death." j The birds fang on; they knew all about such scenes as this ; the wind whispered, the flowers bloomed. What listed they of human hearts, or souls worn by fever or bv pain.

"Men condemned to death have been permitted on the scaffold to speak their mind 9," he continued ; "my death through exile must follow this. Let me tell you freely as the condemned men do, all tbat is in my heart: how I worship your beauty— ah ! queeu of alt beauty, how I love to watch your face, your eyes, your white hands, the play of your lovely lips—how I would fain kneel down and kiss the place where you have been standing. Love ! do I say 1 it should rather be idolatry, worship wild and sweet; love hardly expresses it. To me it seems as if the whole world had been made for you—the sun rises and set 3, the sweet rain 3 fall, the moon shines, the stars ride on high, the flowers bloom, the birds sing; through all creation I see but one face, hear but one voice ; time and eternity both seem made for you." One of the white hands in his, though it would fain be j

" Say, as I may never up ail of it c, you must hear all now," he said; "tueii your haud shall go free, then yourself shall go free, acid we may never meet again. Let me tell you how, through the dreams and sleep of the night, your face haunts me—how the music of your voice never dies from my ears—how the sweet sound of your laughter makes my heart glad. Perhaps once in a century it is given Pj :x :nari to love as I love you, not oftener, or tie world could not go on. If you said to me, ' Die for me,' I should die—ah ! my queen, with a smile ; if you said, 'Live forme,' I should live, though life were all burden and all pain. It is not often the strong heart of a strong man lies in the hollow of woman's hand, as mine does in yours. XTou will break it and throw it away —what elae could you do 2—but once—oh, once, my dear, before you fling it under your feet—look at it and recognize the love in it."

Still no answer. Sweeter spices blew from the flowers, sweeter songs came from the birds, sweeter whispers from the wind. "I have never thought," he went on, with white lips, "to bo so happy. I had never dreamed that I should dare to tell you all this—blessed day and blessed hour iu which I have flung restraint; to the winds and have told the secret of my heart to the queen of my heart. There can be no punishment great enough to make me repent it." Then over the long rush grass came the whispered sweetness of a low voice, lie could hardly hear the words for the beatiug of his own heart

" Was it for this, because you loved me, that you wished to go away lrom me ?" she said.

" STes, it was for this, because I lived always in torture and in pain."

"But you will not go now!" she said. " You will stay ?"'

Each word fell like molten lead on his heart. They must be words of satira, they could not be truth.

"Do you really wish me to stay, after all that I have said to you I—after my presumption, my madness ?"

"It does notseemliko madness to me," said the low, sweet voice again.

And again he looked at the beautiful face. It was so changed, the light of love shone in the sweet eye 3, there was something of impassioned tenderness, of high resolve in it.

" You undervalue yourself," she said. "Has a man no gifts to call great except fortune and title ? Those are accidental circumstances. There are far nobler gifts than these. A man who hews his own fortune out of commonplacc materials i.3 surely greater than the one who receives a fortune which he perhaps has not brains enough to keep. Are you quite sure that the most desirable thing on earth is money 1"

"No, lam not; but without it how can any man dare to woo or win ?"

" I cannot tell what a man may do ; but I am sure no money would win me," Bhe said.

"What would win you, Lady Vera?" he cried. "It would be useless for me, I know, to hear it, for it will be something I can never attain; but tell me what would win you, Lady Vera ?"

There was no mußic so sweet as the voice that seemed to die over the long rash grass.

'' A loving heart would win me sooner than anything else," she said, gently. "I have thathe cried. "Ah, Lady Vera, you cannot mean that

"You will not understand," she said, gently. " Yet, if you thought for a moment, you must see. In all my life no man has held my hand but you, in all my life I have talked to no one as I have talked to you ; I have never given a flower to to any man but you ; and yet you will not understand."

The lovely face burned with hot blushes as she turned it from him and hid it in the cool, sweet grass; the sweet voice died away, so that thfs last words were barely heard ; yet he heard tliem, and his heart beat with tierce, mad, wild delight. What could it mean? Were she of less degree ho should say she loved him; there was love in her face, love in her eyes, love iu her voice; love kept those white hands clasped in his, love kept her there by his side.

"Heaven keep for me my senses," he said, as the last of those murmured words fell on his ear.

He drew her clasped hands to his breast, and they lay there a 8 though they were at home.

"Lady Vera," he said, and the passion of his voice made her tremble, Lady Vera, you can but send me away if I antjer you."

" You will never anger me," she said. "Never! even if my words are mad, wild, senseless ?"

"No, not even then," she replied. " You could not anger me."

Looking at her, he saw that the sweet eyes were wet with tears.

"My darling!" he cried, "is it possible that you care for me—that you love me ?"

"You have been so long in finding it out," she said.

And he did not know which was sweetest, her smiles or her tears.

"I cannot believe it I" he cried. "It is too great a happiness—it cannot be true !"

The colour died from his face and lips ; for a few minutes he looked like a dead man ; then his eyes opened to the heaven prepared for him.

" My darling ! you, the queen ot beauty, you love Die / Tell me again—my ears refuse to credit the words. You love me ?"

"I love you, and I am proud of my love : I will never love anyone but you, let the future bring what it may,"

The birds might well sing, for he had drawn her nearer to him ; he forgot all about the barriers of caate; bending over her, he kissed her beautiful fresh lips, and drew her soul through them until it became one with his own.

CHAPTER XIX. " LOVE TO-DAY —SORROW TO-MORROW." Dudley Ryder, eveu with his face on hers, and his hand clasping her own, conld not realize the truth or believe that he had won her; even with the sweet voiso whispering to him over and over again t'.at sue loved him, there was something unreal about it; with the proud, per less young beauty in his Brasp, with the lustrous eyes on his own, ho could not believe it. Had one of the stairs fallen from heaven at his feet it would have seened far less wonderful to him than that Lady Hylton Beaufort should love him. He bent his handsome head over her and kissed the sweet lips again. " I know it is a dream," he Eaid, "and X shall wake from it to find that the very sweetness of it haß been deadly poison to me. I am sure it will bo so."

"It is a very real dream," Eaid Lady Vera. "I do not think there will be much fear of waking from it." "And you love mo?" he said—"yon, so brilliant, so beautiful, so beloved, you love

'* I '"oi.'Ati'," she said, half impateatly, ■' you would think if I were always cryio j out in amazement because you loved me ? Why should it'seem eo wonderful that I lo*ti you

Her voice softened into sweetest melody*as the spoke, and her beautinl ejes half filled with tears. 1

" Why should you think it so wonderful, Dr. Eyder ?" she repeated. "Because you have everything, I have nothing," he replied, and. Lady Vera smiled again.

"Shall I tell you that the wonder is on my side?" she continued—"that I marvel why yon should love me ? Truo love is full of humility," she added, " and I believe that humility is one of the tests of love. Shall I, who have never flattered man or woman, sketch a portrait of yon as I" see you with my own eyes 1"

" Yes, if you will," lie replied. He held her hand closely, with a va™ue kind of feeling that if he once released nis hold she would varnish, and his dream fade iato thin, empty air.

"I see in my picture of you," she said, "a man handsome with the noblest kind of beauty, the beauty of soul and mind ; I see a face full of intellect and poetry, eyes full of thought and kindness, a mouth that has in it the grace of woman's lips with the firmness of man. I seo a broad, noble brow, with clustering hair that takes me b:ick to the old Roman galleries where thegodsliveinmarble. I see a tigure that, in my eyes, is the perfection. of strength, harmony, and grace. I see strong, white hands, that can soothe the sick-bed of a little child, yet I believe could strangle a lion, aud I like strength." He murmured some words that died in the rush-grass—she could not hear them.

"That is the exterior worthy of any woman's love," she continued ; " the noblest type of man is the one who combines tenderness and strength—the man who could cherish a child and slay a lion. Now let me sketch the true picture of your inner self, your mind and soul. I see a heart naturally uoble, geiw .ous and tender. I see a strong will, a w;li Vsiat nothing can break except love. I see well-cultured, genius well trained. Is :e humane affections Jor others, charity toward tho sick aad the .mGvjring, forgetfulness of sell, spirituality of >v. ; nd, simplicity of character and taste, with

power of loving such as has been given to men. Do you recoguize the portrait?" If I dare but hope I bear the least re■•■.amblance to it!" he said.

" It resembles you, or rather you resemble it, perfectly, in my mind," she said.".Now, knowing this, never grieve or distress me again by wondering why I love yon, wondering how I cau love you. I see in you qualities that I have not seen in prince or peor, and I love you just as you are. Surely chat convinces you ? You pain me when yon doubt my love—promise chat you will never do so again."

"No, never again," he answered. "How can I after that?—how can 1 disbelieve, doubt, or fear ? Your words are like the strong sun, which melts the snow and makes it disappear—all fear, all doubt die before them. .But it will seem to me a miracle."

"I have always had my own idea of a lover," said Lady Vera, "and my ideal was always my master. I never cared fur rank or position. I have never said to myself that I should like to be countess, duches?, or princess; but I have said when I gave my love it should be to one who was my superior, to whom I could look with reverence and fear, to whom I could appeal in all doubts, a whose thoughts and judgments I should stand in awe. I have found all that in you, therefore I love you."

"Therefore am I the happiest man in the whole wide world," he said, "and, Lady Vera, although it maybe presumption in me to say it, I swear that no man living has ever loved any women as 1 love you, and shall lovo you until death."

" Until death !" Bhe repeated, and in some vague way, the words brought a chill with them that cooled the sun-lit air.

She shuddered, and hi 3 strong arms were clasped around her.

" Why do the words startle you, my queen ?" he said. "If I could, I would fain beep death for ever from you. He shall take up both together, let him come when he may."

And in after days she remembered those words with a shudder more terrible still.

They sat it happy, blissful silence for some time and then Dudley .Ryder woke up as one from a dream.

"My darling, what shall I say to Lord Beaufort ?" he asked. " Will he think I have abused his trust? Will he be willing to give his peerless, priceless treasure to me 1"

"No,"'she answered, gravely, "he will not. I know that. 1 have forseen that. He will not be willing yet; but, Dudley, we will not talk of that to day. This is the happiest day of our live 3. No other can ever be so happy. Do not let us mar or shadow it by one sad memory, even by one sad word. Let us look back to it as lying in the perfect light of a golden sun. We will talk of love to-day, and sorrow to-morrow. It will come soon enough."

"Soon enough," he repeated, kissing the white hands.

" See !" she cried, "time is passing, shadow of the limes grows taller, the sun is creeping round to the west; soon the flowers will close their chalices, soon the birds will weary of song. Ah, my love, forget for a few minutes longer the world that is around U9, let us talk only of love !"

She was not of the timid, hesitating natures who do tilings by halves ; having learned to love Dudley Kyder, she loved him with the full force and pSssion of her own soul —loved him with a passion unknown to calm, cool natures."

" Let us talk to-day of nothing but love," she said, with love-light in her eyes ; and there was no man living who could have resisted her. " You shall come and see me tomorrow,"she said, " and then we will discuss the future—let us live in the present for a short time longer." They never forget it—the sun-lifc loveliness of the summer afternoon, the golden light that lay on the ruin and tall trees, the music of the happy birds, and their own happiness too great for words. They had so much to say, the present was so full of life and bliss for them. It was Lady Vera who first saw the shadows creeping round the archway, and cried that it was growing late.

"Must you go?" he said. "This is a paradise, in which we shall live every day-" She answered, with a smile : "We must go ;it is past five. We dine at seven, and 1 have an hour's walk before me. Dudley, I will do something that you will like very much—l will make a sketch of this sbady nook, with the leaves of the limetrees all rippling, the archway with the trailing creepers, the long rush-grass with its myriads of flowers, the birds that have looked so wisely and so brightly at us. I will sketch it, and you shall hang up the picture where you can see it best. Will that please you ?"

"So mucli that I shall never leave it," he replied. "It would be the most beautiful, but the most fatal gift yon could give me."

"I shall give it to you, nevertheless," she replied. " And now, Dudley, we must go. Itnagiue, if you can, the consternation at Alton Priors if I am not home for dinner." It was with a strange sense of possession that he raised her pencils and gathered her papers ; it was so wonderful to remember that she belonged to him. She so proud, so beautiful, was all his own ; his the privilege to walk by her side, to attsnd to her, to protect her. They left the ruins together. On through the beautiful woods, and he wondered in the pride of his heart whether even the bright-eyed birds were not jealous of him to whom this pioud young'beauty belonged. It was new life—this glorfied mass of green trees and golden light was surely not the woodland he had passed before ! There was a new and brighter glory in the sunshine, the grass was a brighter groeu, the whole world was fairy-land, and it was love that had beautified it. r *-

"May I walk with you as far as Alton Priors ?" he asked, and she answered, gently:

" X think not, to-day. You shall go with me to the end of Barford Woods, and then we must say good-by until to-morrow."

"I wi-h to-morrow were here," he sighed, and Lady Vera added : " I should not be sorry."

" When I leave you, my queen, it will seem to me as though all at once the light of the world goes out,''" he said.

"But you will be happy she said, with a look of tendeinea3 on her face. " You have promised me to be happy always now that you believe in my love."

"Ye 3 ; but still I am like a man dazzled by a great gleam of sunlight."

"Then you must uncl.izzle yourself, Dudley, ancl see clearly. You have but to f»y to yourself,' 'Vera loves me,' and the words will bring peace with them."

" Vera loves me !" he repeated, simply. He raised his hat and stood bare-headed under the rippling limes. "I thank Heaven," ho said, "for this great gift of Vera's love."

then it wasting to W. If „ „ to him he could neve? p«t xrith »,r , scmed , '"->u could never let that whitfe handl,Vl ho his clasp, that he coald MWig I ?*'"® >- M from the fresh, proud betutv'YS tw ß ey<s SsnS-'" e,h —SA'ssag * hi'S^StK^'SSrrite'?',' greeting. ® d m final tt b 2,*rfS« r°™ "" 1 tak ""• . : »S " Until theu, giod by, my oneah i» replied and the tall limes seemed to'mfold her as she passed from hia eight." 11110111 To bo continued.]