MISCELLANEOUS. THINE EYES.

New Zealand Gazette and Wellington Spectator, Volume III, Issue 219, 11 February 1843, Page 3

MISCELLANEOUS. THINE EYES.

BY MAJOR CALDER CAMPBELL. Thine eyes ! thine eyes 1 The starry skies Have not, in all their glittering sphere, A beam to wake within my heart Such trains of happy thought as dart Across my mind, when, in thine eyes, I read that I am dear ! Thine eyes ! thine eyes ! r The varied dyes yOf all the gloving flowers that blow, Have not the power to win from me Such love, as fondly steals to thee, When slyly peeping from thine eyes Affection's glances glow ! Thine eyes ! thine eyes ! I do not prize The brightest gems on Fashion's shrine So much as one kind look from thee, Sent back in fond return to me; Nor care I, so that from thine eyes Affection steals to mine ! Dover, July, 1842.

A Yankee Sermon. — I once called on a sick person, whom the doctors had given up as a gone case. I asked him if he had made his peace with Heaven. He said he -thought he had squared all up. I inquired if he had forgiven all his enemies. He replied, "Yes." I then asked him if he had made his peace with his printer. He hesitated for a moment, and then said he believed he owed him something like about two dollars and fifty cents, which he desired to have paid before he bid goodby to the world. His desire was immediately gratified, and from that moment he became convalescent. He is now living in the enjoyment of health and prosperity, at peace with his own conscience, with Heaven, and the world. Let this be an example for you, my friends. Patronize the printer, take the papers, pay for them . in advance, and your days will be long upon the earth, and overflowing with the honey of happiness. The Decline of Superstition. — "When I was young," said an old Scottish lady recently, " folks were unco feared at water dievils, called water-kelpies: but noo I've lived to see them a' dead; and I think iv I were to live anither generation I might out-live the veera deevil himsel." Young Widows. — A lady paying a visit to her daughter, who was a young widow, asked why she wore the widow's garb so long. "Dear mamma, don't you see," replied the daughter, "this saves the expense of advertising for a husband, as every one can see that I am for sale by private contract." Make no Stranger of me. — A parson who had a scolding wife, one day brought home a brother clergyman to dinner. Having gone into a separate apartment to his spouse about the repast, she attacked and abused him for bringing, a parcel of "idle fellows" to eat up their .income.. The parson provoked at her behavour, said in a pretty loud tone, "If it were not for the stranger I would give you a good drubbihg." "Oh!" cried the visitor, " I beg you will make no stranger of me." Salt.— So- plenty • and cheap as salt is in this country, we can scarcely conceive the high value m some others. In some parts of South America, it is worth its weight in gold even at this 'time. -The following- extract shows how much it. was in request in some remote places inTartary. Th& traveller speaks of the proyincs of Cainda,. west of Thibet. -—"The, money in this country is gold, unstamped and iwued by weight. But . there

ordinary money consist in solid small loaves of salt, marked with' the seal of the prince ; and of this merchants make vast profits in remote places, which have abundance of gold and musk, which .the inhabitants are eager to barter for salt, to use with their meat." — Marco Polo's Travels in the Thirteenth Century. How to Keep the Peace.— "Mr. Editor," said a married man, stepping into our office the other day, "you must send me two copies of your paper" in future. You make it so very interesting, that my wife and I quarrel which of us shall read it first; and the only way to keep the peace, I, find, is for each of us to have a copy ! " [We hope that this remedy for domestic dissensions will be generally adopted.] Modest Man.— A bachelor says that all he should ask for in a wife would be a good temper, health, good understanding, agreeable physiognomy, good figure,, domestic habits, resources of amusement, good spirits, conversation, talents, elegant manners, modesty, virtue, and money. — The poorest of all family goods are indolent females. If a wife knows nothing of domestic duties beyond the parlour or the boudpir, she is a dangerous partner in these times of -pecuniary uncertainty. " • ' • The Noun " Bachelor."— A young lady, at an examination in grammer, was asked why the noun bachelor was singular, She replied immediately, [and with much naive, "because it is singular they don't get married." English Philanthropy. — Harnessing 1 women to coal carts in the collieries, making them draw a horse load, and then crying shame against this country for its slaves. — American paper. A new breed of Dogs. — A new and improved breed of dogs has lately been introduced into Boston. Their chief and distinguishing quality is, that they give their masters no trouble ; having a whistle at the end of their tails, they call themselves when they are wanted. "A Discerning Public." — Never was there a greater farce than to talk of the public thus : —The public is a most unjust, illiberal, led-by-the-nose booby; a foolish goose, without discernment, without sense, without Honesty, without any good quality— a proof of which may be found in their support of that great lubberly, ill-conducted, yillanous print the Kentucky Mercury ; while this paper, managed with so much taste and discreation, is left to perish for lack of patronage! "A discerning public," forsooth! The public is little better than a long-eared donkey. — Kentucky Warder. Poverty: — It is not poverty so much as pretence that harasses a ruined man, the struggle between a proud mind and an emytypurserr-the, keeping Up a hollow show that must soon come to an end. Have the courage to appear poor, and you disarm poverty of its sharpest sting. Swiming. — It has been well observed that man is the only animal that learns to swim, for others, when plunged into the water, swim instinctively; and its well known that man, being spercifically lighter than water, could not sink, if he did not exhaust his lungs by needless terror, and its consequent agitation of body and mind. Mr. John Robertson, F.R.S., details a set of interesting experiments on the gravity of the human body] He weighed ten different indifferent individuals in water, comparing their weight with the quantity of water displaced by their bodies, and found that, excepting two, every man was lighter than his equal bulk of sea water ; consequently, could persons who fall into water have presence of mind enought to avoid the usual fright on such accidents, many might be preserved from drowning. Dr. Franklin considered the detacked members of the body, particularly the head, as of greater weight than their bulk in water, but that our bodies in the aggregate are of less specific gravity, by reason of the hollowness of the trunk. He conconceived that a body immersed in water should sink up to the eyes, but that if the head were inclined back so as to be supported by the water, the mouth and nostrils would remain above, the body rising one inch at every inspiration, and sinking an inch at every expiration. Injury. — A little wrong done to another is a great injury done to ourselves. The severest punishment of an injury is the consciousness of having done it ; and no man suffers more than he who is tuned over to the pain of repentance. Life's Weariness. — Many things are tiresome: ball-rooms, where beauty faints to attract attention ; theatres, with paiuted kings, odorous of tobacco and gin, talk fustian in mock heroics ; story-tellers, who bore every-body but themselves with interminable yarns; singers^ who when they overcome their diffidence ahem !— and hoarseness, delight to muder Moor and lover; all these are so tiring, that there is one thing only more tiresome, and that is doing nothing. " I can't speck in public— never done such a thing in all my life," said a chap the other night, at a public meeting, who had been called upon to hold forth, "but if any body in the crowd will speak for me, I'll hold his hat." A Toast. — " The Ladies : the only endurable aristocracy, who rule without law-rjudge without jury— decide without appeal — and are never in the wrong. " I'll be blessed if I do," as the girl said when her lover asked her to be married. Method for Destroying Slugs. — Fresh brewer's grains are an excellent bait for them, if put down in handfuh here and there about the borders. On mild nights the heaps will be covered with slugs, which may be readily desby a dusting of powdered quick lime or salt. It is worthy of observing, that there -is no passion in the mind of man so weak but it mate and matters the fear of death : and^therefore death is no such terrible enemy, when a man hath so many attendants about him, that can win, the combat of him. Revenge triumphs over death; love slights it; honour aspireth to it; grief niethit; fear preoccupateth it; hay, we read, after Otho the Emperor had slain himself, pity, which is the tenderest tie of affections, provoked many to die out of mere compassion to the Sovereign, and as the truest sort of followers. — Bacon. ; ,-; ■ Compliment.— " Do make yourselves at home ladies," said a 'female to her visitors, one dV^. " I am at home* myself, and wish you all w er>