THE COMIC BLACKSTONE.

Nelson Examiner and New Zealand Chronicle, Volume III, Issue 150, 18 January 1845, Page 181

THE COMIC BLACKSTONE.

[From i^wneA.] The people are divided into the clergy and the laity, the former of whom wiU be the subject of this chapter; and a very lively chapter may be expected in consequence. The clergy have several privileges, some of which were taken from them at the Reformation, in consequence of their having become impudent from the great liberties allowed to them. Many of the personal exemptions still continue. For instance, no one can be compelled to sit upon a jury after he has taken orders; though, semble that the persons at the Free-list Office at the theatres, notwithstanding their having taken orders, are liable to serve as jurymen. A clergyman cannot be chosen to any temporal office, such as bailiff or constable ; so that a curate cannot be a bailiff at a lock-up house, nor could a rector act as a policeman in a street riot. A .^erjgymaa also is privileged from arrest in going to and returning from duty, or, as the Norman Jurist expresses it, " U ne faut pas commettre un telfaux pas de nabber ilparsone, et lvi porter hors de la palpite jzisqu'a maeson de farmer au cle." (One must not commit such a false step as to nab the parson, and carry him out of the pulpit to the lock-up house.) Formerly, a clergyman had what is called the " benefit of clergy" in cases of felony — a privilege which, if a layman had asked for, he would have been told that the authorities would " 6ee him hanged first." The last remnant of benefit of clergy was the benefit allowed every May-day to the sweeps, who were vulgarly called the clergy, but this has been almost swept away by the Ramoneur — a very upright invention, which, disdaining to force itself into holes and corners, leaves the soot to ignite in the chimneys. The clergymen have, however, several disabilities : for instance, they cannot sit in Parliament, but "that's not so much," as Othello (one of Nature's clergymen) very properly observed; for there are many occasions, such as a financial discussion, when exclusion from the House of Commons must be regarded as a privilege rather than a disability. Formerly, the clergyman was not allowed to trade, but was restricted to the cure of souls. It does not seem, however, that even in the days of doubtful orthography — for our ancestors never could spell — a parson might have occupied himself in the drying of fish, which is certainly in one sense undertaking the cure of soles, for we do not find that Shakspere's beautiful line in Hamlet, " Excellent well, you're a fishmonger," was ever applied to any reverend contemporary of the Swan of Avon.

It having been determined that a contract with any company, of which any spiritual persons were partners or members, was void, and this having been decided to be law, another law was passed in the reign of her present Majesty to decide that it was not, or, if it was, that it neverought to be. It might be a hint worthy of adoption by the repudiating states of America ; for as there are, no doubt, spiritual persons among them, they may as well shuffle out of their liabilities by reference to the fine old principles of English law, and thus give a sacred character to one of the sublimest swindles ever attempted in any age or country. By the new act, parsons may trade in joint-stock companies, their evanescence giving them, no doubt, a sort of ethereal character. The clergy may also trade in books, or in anything connected with keeping a school, which admits of their adding to their income by selling ink and various other scholastic commodities.

We shall now consider the various ranks and degrees of the clergy, commencing with an archbishop, who is the greatest gun in the church, according to all the canons. Archbishops were formerly elected by all the people ; but the tumultuous scenes that arose were a great scandal; and indeed we cannot fancy his Grace of Canterbury placarding the town with posters, calling upon the public to " vote for Howley," or defacing the walls of the episcopal palace with the words " Howley for Canterbury." Archbishoprics came afterwards to be conferred by the Sovereigns, till Gregory VII. exhibited a bull declaring that princes should not meddle in the manufacture of prelates. Henry VIII., however, put an end to the Pope's pretensions, by giving the power of electing an archbishop to the bishops themselves; that is to say, when his Majesty has made his own choice, he gives the prelates the power of confirming it— or, in other words, rams a bishop down their throats, thus forcing them to swallow him.

An archbishop is a sort of inspector of all the bishops in his province ; but he does not call them out like an inspector would so many policemen, to examine their mitres, and see that their lawn sleeves are properly starched, before going on duty in their respective dioceses. An archbishop may call out the bishops, just as militia colonels may call out the militia ; and it is big duty trf look after the spiritualities of a vacant pee, while the Crown takes care of the

temporalities, which are the only remunerating part of the business. If a bishop does not fill up a vacant living in his diocese within six months, the archbishop may; but the bishop has generally too much archness to give a chance to his superior. The archbishop also takes the first presentation to a living which may occur in a bishop's diocese, so that a bishop's mouth waters a good deal before he is suffered to quaff the sweets of patronage. The Archbishop of Canterbury has also the privilege of putting the crown on the heads of the Kings and Queens of England ; but this seems to be more a hatter's business, and we, therefore, do not enter into it.

Bishops have authority over the manners of the people ; and we wonder, therefore, that the Bishop of London does not favour us with a book on etiquette. Several alterations have been made, and others contemplated, by the Ecclesiastical Commissioners appointed by act of Parliament in the reign of William IV. to unite certain sees, by cutting through the barrier or isthmus that divided them.

We now come to deans and chapters, which would form a chapter of themselves, only there is no occasion for it. A dean and chapter are a sort of council to advise the bishop, who, however, seldom asks their advice; or, if he asks it, scarcely ever takes it. A dean formerly superintended ten canons, but this must have been in the days when the church was disposed to be militant. The bishop is the superior of the dean and chapter, with the power of visiting them and " correcting their excesses ;" which surely cannot mean administering soda-water after they have been rather convivial !

An archdeacon comes the next to a bishop, and visits the clergy — leaving his card formally with some, and dropping in to tea, in a friendly manner, no doubt, with others.

Rural deans, in these anti-rural days, are nearly out of use. They had nothing to do but pry into the domestic affairs of the parochial clergy. They were called rural, very likely, from their love of country occupations, such as fishing for preferment, and making hay during sunshine.

We now come to the parsons, a name derived from the word persona, a person ; because the parson is a person ; that is to say, he is in the parish decidedly " somebody." He is sometimes called the rector, or ruler, but why, we cannot tell ; for there is no rule to account for it.

Formerly, the monasteries appropriated to themselves the valuable part of a living, and contracted with some curate to do the work ; the monasteries acting then much as the " sweaters " do now, making a very good profit upon a task which they gave a beggarly sum to another to execute. Henry VIIL, however, determined to sweat the monastic sweaters ; for, at the dissolution of monasteries, he swept away the institutions, and pocketed the good things that belonged to them. The Crown afterwards granting these things out to laymen gave rise to what are called lay-appropriations, hands having been laid upon them by those who were most inappropriately possessed of them.

These appropriators used to get the duty done very cheap by a vicar ; and there being much competition among the clergy, vicar's work was done on such very low terms that there was an alarming sacrifice of the interest of the parishioners. This led to an act being passed to protect vicars, by providing for their being better paid, and some of the smaller tithes were settled on the vicar ; who, on the principle of "little fishes being sweet," no doubt eagerly clutched at them.

The duties incumbent on a parson are, first, to act as incumbent by living in the place where he has his living. By a recent act, a parson absenting himself from his parsonage for upwards of three months in a year, forfeits a third of the value of his benefice, and so in proportion ; so that if he stays away a whole year, he will have more to pay than to receive, and thus realize the homely picture of the man who is said to have won a shilling and lost eigbteen-pence.

A nice Country to Live in. — The Philadelphia correspondent of the Morning Chronicle gives the following account of the state of the Texian frontier : — " A notorious brigand chief on the Texian frontier, who had murdered twenty men with bis own hands, and was known and dreaded as Pete (Peter) Whetstone, was shot dead a few days since by a citizen of the United States whose, life he had threatened, the ruffian was sixty y«ars of age. The frontier, especially adjoining Arkansas, is partly peopled by desperadoes. Judge Field, in addressing some of the courts there, recently 6aid, that "two prosecuting attorneys have been murdered for doing their duty ; a judge barred out of bis court by a mob, and his . life endangered; and another judge, attacked on his bench merely for ordering silence in the court; while a third was forced by an arxaed blackguard $o leave the bench and drink with him