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Nelson Evening Mail, Volume LXX, 22 June 1936, Page 10

Father: “Your mother never dressed to catch a husband as you girls do to-day.” Daughter: “No; but look what she got!”

The wee Scots lad was in the habit of entering the village baker’s shop and asking them to give him two halfpennies for a penny. The continual request so irritated the woman behind the counter that one day she scolded him and told him not to return. Tnc young Highlander readjusted his bonnet on his head and said gravely, “Michty! It’s a wunner tae me how ye keep yer customers.”

The cabby with the old-fashioned cab leaned confidingly towards the very stout woman who had just given him the exact fare, but no tip, for the journey. “Pardon me, ma’am,” he said, with exaggerated politeness, “but would you mind walking the other way and not passing the horse?” She looked enquiringly at him. “But why?” she asked. “Because if ’e sees wot ’e’s been carrying for a shilling ’e’ll probably ’ave a fit,” replied the cabby.