Untitled

Nelson Evening Mail, Volume LXVI, 16 April 1932, Page 2

Nervous Young Man: “Sir, I have been walking out with your daughter for three years ” Her Father: “Well, you’re not coming on me for hoot repairs, are you?” Head of the House: “Gentleman wants to see me? Who is he?” Maid (under notice): “Don’t wnow. ’E just said ’e wanted to see the lyin’ rascal wot lives ’ore!” Wife (rushing into the living room, panting for breath): “Oh, Walter, I dropped my diamond ring off my finger and I can’t find it anywhere.” Husband (very calmly): “It’s all right, Olive. I came across it in my trousers pocket.” “What do you mean by saying that football causes more deaths than all other sports combined?” “It’s responsible for the funerals of at least 10,000 grandmothers of office boys every year.”Ile: “I don’t like you inviting that elmp to dinndtf. He used to kiss you before we were married.” She: “Well, so did you.” He: Yes, but I’ve got over it, and maybe lie hasn’t.