HUMOUR

Manawatu Times, Volume 61, Issue 10, 13 January 1936, Page 5

HUMOUR

Snappy. “Over tlie bridge for Morecambe!’ , shouted the harassed porter as loudly as he could. A woman tapped him on the shoulder. “Which is the train for Morecambe?” she asked.

,; Ovcr tiio bridge for repeated the porter. “But I’ve got a tin chest/’ she ex postulated. “Lady,” said the porter, through clenched teeth. “I don’t care if you have a brass back, copper legs and castiron feet—it’s over tiie uridge for Morccambe! ”

Morecambe, ”

She was giving a bridge party. VVlica the patter of tiny feet was heard upstairs, she raised one hand for silence. “Hush,” she said, “the children are going to deliver their good-night message. It always gives mo such a feeling of reverence to hear them. Listen! ” There was a moment of tense silence, then, shrilly: "Mummy, Willie’s found a flea! ’ ’

The superintendent of a Sunday school was explaining the story of .Elijah and the prophets of Baal; how Elijah built the altar, put wood upon, it, and cut the bullock in pieces and iaid them on the altar.

“And then,” said the superintend; ent, “he commanded the people to fill four barrels with water and to pour it over the altar, and this they did four times. Now, can anyone tell why all this water was poured over the bullock jn the altar 1 ?” There was a silence for a few moments; then one little boy spoke up: “Please, sir, to make the gravy.”

“It’s no use,” said tho director to his colleague, “I’ll have to get a new typist.” “Pity/ said his colleague, “Miss Jones always seemed a nice, obliging sort of girl.” “Oh, she’s all that. But she will keep interrupting me when I’m dictating to ask me Jiow to spell ’words. ” “That certainly is a great waste of time.” “1 don’t object to that,” explain oil the director, “but it loofcs so Dad tr have to keep saying 1 don’t know.”

“Why not make lifebelts a bit more comfort able 7”

The eldlsrly<w bridegroom'-whad some difficulty in- hearing the registrar’s questions at his wedding. - 4 ‘Wilt thou liavo this woman, etc.,” repeated the registrar several times. “What’s ’e sayin’?” asked the worried groom of his bride.

• ‘‘ E -wants'to 'kito-ir ’ave me,” she replied. “’Avc ’er! ” said the bridegroom, turning to the registrar. “Why, we’ve coomed ’ere a purpose!”