Mrs Hogan on Politics.

Manawatu Times, Volume XL, Issue 1372868, 15 September 1917, Page 2

Mrs Hogan on Politics.

“Do you know, Mrs Maloney, whin/ I wuz iu Australia I took a lot of in- j torest in politics, but since I came to i New Zealand I have began to think the 1 best thing to do is to copy the Government and lot things slide.” “What dye ye mean?” said Mrs Malone. “Well dye yez see, Pat came in yesterday and he soz, sez he,’’ "Biddy, can ye tell me why they call the Government a jelly-fish government?” “I can . sez I. ” ‘ ‘ Why is it sez he? ” “ Well sez I, because it has no back bone. ’Tis a Government ye can just push, as much as ye like and it always flops down in a heap.” “There’s not enough cave taken in selecting members of Parliament ’ ’ says Pat. ‘ ‘ There is not ’ ’ says I’. For instance wo,-should get at least a good physical specimen” sez I. “How do ye mean,” sez Pat. “Well,” sez I, “in the first place whin a man offers himself for Parliamcntry honours the electors should examine his head.” " Oh,” sez Pat, “What for?” “To see if there’s anything in it” soz I. "If ye look at a man’s head side on” sez I, Gaud divide it so to speak into four quarters” sez I, "the size of the quarters” sez I, "will be a good guide, as to his capabilities” sez I. “If the top half of his head is the biggest,” sez I, "and both of the quarters equal, yez can,depend on it he is pretty clever, and honest, too,"' sez I. “Now if the front quarter of his head from a line below tlie top of his ears, is most prominent, depend upon it’he is a ‘social democrat'” sez 1. “The species is very noisy, but quite harmless” sez I, “but if the back lower quarter of his head is very prominent” sez I, "ho is rather dangerous. This species” sez I "lias only just been identified lately” sez I. "Ho is a ‘swovvser’ sez I. "And sure,” sez Pat, "What about tho backbone I” "Well” soz I, "I’m coming to that now. Ye see an upright man should always have a good straight backbone.” "Of course” soz Pat. "Thin,” sez I, "he should have good spuaro shoulders and be. small around the waist” soz I. "Why?” sez Pat. "Because” sez I "the bigger a man gets around the waist tho less use he is to his country.” "That is another sure sign of tho ‘Swowser’” sez I. "Is it?” sez Pat. "Yes,” sez I. "Well Biddy” sez ho "yer a marvel; but there’s one thing I'd like to know. ’ ’ ‘ ‘ What is it? ” sez I. ‘ ‘ Well ’ ’ sez Pat, "I’d like to know whin there will be another election?” "Share yer not tho only one,” soz I. "and I can only quote Mr Massey’s favourite motto” sez I. "What's that” sez Pat. "Wait and see” sez I.