Australia Will Be There.

Manawatu Times, Volume XL, Issue 13537, 30 October 1916, Page 5

Australia Will Be There.

A PARODY THAT CAME TRUE. The following articlo which appeared in the Sydney " Bulletin'' on October 19 indicates that that paper had a saturnine premonition of the ill-tidings which deface our columns to-day:— ; / Scene —Berlin. An Imperial Palace. Seated in a Council Chamber the Kaiser, Bethmann-Hollweg and Von Tirpitz. The news has just arrived that Australia has voted No on the Referendum proposals. The Kaiser: So Bull's cub has turned him down. Is that so?

Bethmann-Hollweg: Richtig, Majestat [Correct, your Majesty]. The Kangaroo has proved «. quitter and the, Anzacs must look to Russia for reinforcements.

Von Tirpitz: Donner und Blitzen, what a joke! Of course the numbers don't matter, but the moral effectit is immense! Nothing like a little judicious speuding of money in the proper places! Look at Greece —look at

Hollweg: Not so loud, alter Knabe! Besides, this Australian business is more dunderheadedness than corruption. The very idea of trying a Referendum in the middle* of a war to decide whether one should send reinforcements! Oh, it Is superb! The Kaiser: Nein, nein, I think the nionoy has done it. Note that they took no Eeferendum as to whether they should enter the war. They send their boys to the Front; then wo get to work and —the fools! —they take a plebiscite l as to whether they shall send their own flesh and blood assistance!

Von Tirpitz: It is no matter. Now it is for, us to make the best use of their folly. Is Berlin beflagged yet? Hollweg: The city is a sea of Imperial banners. And I have wired to our Headquarters on the Western Front that our regimental bands shall strike up "Australia Will Be There." Gott in Himmel —what a joke! The Kaiser: After all, these verdammten Australians are a poor lot. Deserting their own children! Ach! They don't grasp yet the big national idea that made old Beutschland great. A... it is good! I was getting afraid that the British ideas of liberty would come out on top, after all. Our dream was slipping from us till this happened I hear London's in mourning. Send over a dozen Zeppelins to liven them up with an illumination and let the 'Kolnische Zeitung' and other right-thinking organs print a few articles sympathising with John Bull over his children's ingratitude. Give 'em a bit of their Shakespeare: '' How harder than a serpent's tooth it is To have a thankless child."

Enter messenger with a telegram. Bethmann-Hollweg take's it and reads: "On receipt of the intelligence that Australia had turned down the Referendum proposal many of the Australian troops broke out into fits of furious rage. They say openly they are shamed by their own people. Some demand to be placed in the most dangerous positions, as they do not wish ever to go bach to Australia. The common expression among them is 4 We are betrayed!' and they want to know has there been any other example throughout the war of a. people 'turning dog'' on its own soldiers. The phrase "Australia scabbed on us' is on every Anzac's lips." The Kaiser: Mein Gott! This is the richest morsel! More flags, Von Tirpitz! More crosses for our freundts in Australia What did you say the bands would play? Oh, "Australia Will Be There! " Ja, ja! Nortrefflich! That is the tune, "Australia Will Be There"! Brisbane. —P. Airey.