BRIEF MENTION.

Marlborough Express, Volume XLV, Issue 258, 6 November 1911, Page 2

BRIEF MENTION.

The Blenheim Magistrate has made it plain that obscene language is his peculiar detestation. Petty burglars have been abroad lately. Locks and keys should be .seen to.

The River Board would have had to close down work if the Government had not come to the rescue.

The expenditure of the £5000 grant should set some fresh cash in circulation.

The local police force has a curious onomantolgical propensity. Constable Quayle succeeds Constable Bird, who has been associated with Constable Lamb and Constable Steere. How■ever, they are all good fellows. With the coming of summer, the "no-hats" will soon be stalking through the land. Shakspere said something about "sunburnt brains/ didn't he? A whale's skin, which in places is two feet thick, is the thickest hide of any living creature. "Let us drop into this restaurant." "Oh, I don't believe I care to eat anything." "Well, come m and get a new hat for your old one, anyway-" The Chinese are reputed to possess a fine faculty for artistic lying, but. I should back a real live auctioneer off his rostrum for downright unblushing mendacity against all the Mongolians in the world.—Sir J. Fmdlay in "Humbug and Honilies. Patience: "And did her father foU low them when they eloped £ Patrice: "Sure! He's living with them yet!"- . • Just 120 years ago Captain Philip started Australia with 7 horses, o cattle, 29 sheep, 12 pigs, and a few goats. . Between the hours of 9 and 10 in the morning more than 5000 people eater the City of London every minute. Lady: "Would you-like some coniributions to your "household depart--roent?" Editor: "Well, I shouldJike _» few fresh eggs, or a spring <&icken, or something of that Kind, thank you." ' :*' J " ' .In a recent sitting of the House of -Commons a certain M.P., alter in a speech of two hours jt statement that would have been beih iser made in a speech of two minutes, <xmcluded: 'And that's the situation in a nutshell.' 'Gracious!' said Winston Churchill, sotto voco, 'What a nut IV Draught mares may be worked right up to foaling point. Their iiask should be, however, made lighter ac the time, of, parturition approaches. "Maud is a timid girl," said "Yes," said Esther; "she'd jump -even at a proposal." When "progressing" through the streets to perform some ceremony, it ia estimated that the King takes off Ms hat on an average twelve times a minute, which amounts to the almost incredible number of over 700 times :an hour: ,

Cholly Chumpleigh: "You have eaten next to nothing to-night, Miss doldeaj." Miss Coldeal (who has sat Jteside Cholly at the supper): "You "Sire right. I have eaten next to no-. tßlng/' This notice is, now posted at a large mercantile office: "Clerks in love are requested by 4>ke management not to think of the ..adored object between the hours of "9. a.m. and 6 p.m." ...'■■ Some people can read a woman's -character from the way she' walks.^ If jjou see a woman who, when walking, xligs her heels into the pavement, you may be sure she possesses good business qualities. She will make a Srst-class housekeeper, and will probaWy succeed in any business she takes np. The girl who jerks her1 hand too much when walking is said to be fickle in love and rather inclined to Tte querulous as a wife. (

Caller: "Are you sure that it was a wedding license that I got here last atonth?" License Clerk: "Yes, -why?" Caller: "Ever since I got it I have been treated like a dog t T)

The Japanese dentists perform all -fcneir operations in tooth-drawing with the .thumb and forefinger of one Kand. The skill necessary to do tnis is acquired only after long practice, but when once it is obtained the operator is able to extract half-a- - in about thirty seconds, ■without once removing his fingers from the patient's mouth. ■;

"Now that you've heard my •daughter sing, what would you advise me to do?" "Well," the music master replied, "I hardly know; Bbn't you suppose you could get her interested in settlement work or horseback riding or something like tfeatP"