BRIEF MENTION.

Marlborough Express, Volume XLIV, Issue 126, 4 June 1910, Page 8

BRIEF MENTION.

"A litttle nonsense now and then, is relished by the wisest men." j

Soldiers' memorial unveiled at Tua "Marina on June 3, 1904. The seed used for wheat-growing usually amounts to 2£ bushels per ■ acre. '■"■.■,■ :• j For conducting a marriage ceremony, Scottish clergymen <do not < charge fees. Never undertake anything without counting the cost. I Ladies in Hanover are prohibited from wearing large hatpins in the -street. There is no seed so sure to produce a big yield as wild oats, and the crop is repentance. ; Eliza: "I doan saw somethin' dis niornin' runnin' across de kitchen ifloor wifout any legs." Rastus: "What was dat?" Eliza: "Water." In some of the Swedish hotels women are charged half rates, because they eat less than men. Next year's new straw hats has a lower crown and wider brim than last .year's, a deep band, and "saw" *dges. Maud: "But do you believe in vac- - cination?" Bessie: "Rather. It kept my sister from playing the piano for nearly a week." • "I sometimes think bazaars are a form of highway robbery still permit"ted by the law of England, Lord Justice Moulton said in opening' a bazaar at the Chelsea Town Hall. Winnie: "Muvver, do gooseberries liave any legs?" Mother: "No, dearie. Why?" Winnie (with emotion): "Well, then; muvver, I must have swallowed a caterpillar." The Bee is like a man. All up And down the world he beats it; He gathers honey all his lifeSome other fellow eats it. Sufferers from cold feet should wear flight socks in preference to using a Tiotywater bottle. The latter is apt induce chilblains. J "Well, how true it is," sighed the visitor, "that one-half the world does not know how the other half lives." "That may be, true of the world in -general," replied the Blenheim resif'dent, "but it c]oesn't apply to this town." ' .

An English paper says.that as the Dalai Lama, on his visit to Calcutta, slept on the top floor, so that no one could, sleep above him, he must be full of the pride of, berth.

Little Girl—Mother,' that's such a nasty little boy; whenever he passes me .he makes , a face. Mother—Very rude of him. I hope jrou don't do it back. / Little Girl—-Oh dear, no! I ■simply turn up my nose and treat him with despisery.

A well-known titled lady of London is at the head of a syndicate which has been formed for the purpose of exploiting the latest creations ©fa rising Paris modiste.

. "The climate here is salubrious, isn't it?" remarked the tourist. "Say, friend," replied the native, "jest write that there word down for me, will you? I git tired o' swearin' at this climate in the same old way. That's a new one."

A new halfpenny paper, devoted to the interests of Tariff Reform, is to be started in Glasgow next month. It has a capital of £200,000.

A prize of £1000 is offered to the .first Scotsman who shall fly from Edinburgh to Glasgow on a Scotchbuilt asroplane.

.. During the severe snowstorm which swept over the country recently two men were discussing the weather at Montrose.

"There's been awfu' damage wi' snaw an' win'," remarked one. "There has that," replied the other. xtl see twa fitba' matches were, stopped before time."

It is calculated that within the last twenty years at least, 200,000,000 dollars of America!), money has been wasted and squandered by the titled European husbands of American women.

A forlorn Irishman, reduced to the last stage, of .poverty and destitution, as the last resource made inquiry at a marine store as follows:— "D'ye buy rags and, bones here?" "Yes," was the reply. "Then, be jabers," said Pat, "ye may put me on the scales/

Mr Upton Sinclair, the author of "The Jungle," detailing his fasting •experience, says: —r' 'Through fasting I have not only, found good health, but perfect health; I have found a new state of being, a new potentiality of life; a sense of lightness and joyfulness such as I did not know could exist in the human body !"

Pushing young village grocer (to local M.P.): "Ha, good morning, Mr Rogers!- I presume you want) my renewed support in the coming contest." M.P. (unexpectedly): "No, I don't, young man. I want a tin of sardines, and look sharp about it!"

"Man was an ape in the days that were earlier," sings the poet. "Centuries passed and his hair became curlier, centuries more gave a thumb ■to his wrist." And centuries still more may take it away again and leave us with helpless paws. So they say that the sad habit of wearing boots is likely in a few thousand years Tfco produce a toeless race.

A sturdy Scotchman had been having a dispute with his wife, which resulted in his taking refuge under the bed. As she stqod on guard with a good-sized stick in her hand, he called lustily from his retreat: "Ye can lamb me and ye can bate me, but ye canna break ma manly spirit. I'll na'come oot."

A young lady, who objected to some remarks made to her by several youths in High Street on Saturday evening, adopted a somewhat unusual means of retaliating. Having purchased a tin of pepper, she threw the tin over her tormentors.