BRIEF MENTION.

Marlborough Express, Volume XLIV, Issue 123, 1 June 1910, Page 5

BRIEF MENTION.

"A little nonsense now and then, is relished by the wisest men."

Prince Napoleon killed by Zulus, June i, 1&79

~ Know thyself, but teH no one what thou knowest. . . ■ : •(!"

..■•No man is : more independent than he who can pay his hills. Diner: 'Ere waiter, this chop's smelling! Waiter: Well hold its nose.

The more wealth increases the more men set their hearts upon it.

The proper school in which to bring up a boy is the school of hardness. A wreath of ivy leaves from the grave of George Washington will be forwarded to London to be placed on King Edward's tomb.

Druggist (to his wife): "Don't come in just this minute. I am about to sell six bottles of my.fat-reducing mixture." \

People differ as to jokes, but here is a rule that may be depended en.: A joke you tell yourself is always a good. one. ■■•■..

Much adieu about nothing.—Two ladies bidding good-bye while the train starts.

Society Woman: "I see by to-day's paper I am referred to as ' one of fashion's butterflies.'" Her Husband: "Considering the way you go through clothes, I should think 'moth' would apply better/

Two brothers of Luton, named Osborn, both shoemakers, claim that they have discovered the secret not only of perpetual motion, but of perpetual power. (

"I'm in favor of these moior^cars," said the Mudville farmer; "first time John ever went to London he'got run over by two of 'em, an' made enough in damages to take the mortgage off the farm and buy three cows."

If you want to see two gossips agree perfectly, set them to talk about somebody they both have a grudge against

According to statistics issued by the Central Jewish Statistical Bureau at Berlin, the Jewish population of the world amounts to 11,625,656. /'You don't make very good music with that instrument," said the innocent bystander to the, man behind the bass drumas the band ceased to play. "No," admitted the drum pounder, "but I drown a he^ap of bad."

A motor cyclist who was accused at Guildford-(England) on April 9 of exceeding the speed limit pointed out that the cigar he was smoking at the time had nearly an inch of ash on it when he was stopped. The case was dismissed. ' ■' "

' Gunner: What a', cold and' reserved beauty Miss Beacon is! She preferred to walk into the dining-room unescorted. Guyer: Yes, she reminds us of time arid tide. Gunner: How is that ? Guyer: She' waits for no man.

Mr E. J. Weldon, of Winsted, Connecticut, has, invented a device by which1 "fishermen can weigh fish in the jwwfee'rri before they have landed them^ ; and can thus tell the weight of fish that escape after being hooked.

Diner (who. has been fighting with a guttapercha steak): "Look here, waiter, you'll have to bring. nte. something else. .1 can't tackle this." Waiter t (after a careful examination of the article): "I'm very sorry, sir, but I can't take it back; you've bent it."

Mary Trite, of Kilnantick, Ratbanganj County Kildare, has just died at the age of 115 years. Within a few miles of Rathangan lives a Mrs Cranley, who has attained the remarkable age of 124.

Husband to Gifted Writer: "Isyour •novel nearly done?" Gifted Writer: j"Yes, my dear rbut my. hero must die, you know." Husband: "Well, after he's dead, will you sew this button on for me?" ' \ Queen Alexandra has accepted the dedication of, a small collection of hymns for Empire Day. which will be published by' Messrs Skefnngton and Son, 34 Southampton Street, Strand. The National Anthem has the followmg 011*1 verse by Mr Martin S. Skefiingto^!:—; : | May 'our great Elnpire stand , By God's protecting hand, i Shielded from ill. . May all her children free Fulfil their destiny, Serving with loyalty i God and their King.