BRIEF MENTION.

Marlborough Express, Volume XXXII, Issue 276, 16 December 1897, Page 3

BRIEF MENTION.

Mobb rain at Hokitika, and a drop at Oamaru. Rainy - looking clouds hovering round to-day. " Let her go, Gallagher 1" The Blenheim weather sheet reports the rivers •• low." There is hardly a home or institution m Wellington which is not feeling the efieots of the influenza Boonrge. First Free Kirk Elder: What for this unseeming levity on the £awbatb, MaoTavish ? Second Free Kirk Elder ; Well, to tell the truth, I am seriously tbinkin 1 o' jinin' the Auld Kirk, and I find it agrees wi' me fine. I oan take an extrey glaßß o' toddy on the strength of it, and I'm Berionoly tbinkin' o' introduoin' an oooasional dawn into conversation, The local cyclists— Stowe and Maolaine —arrived m Obristobaroh yesterday afternoon. A Johannesburg gaper states that " a pretty inoident ooourred on the local Stock Exchange. Daring High' Change when the etook 'Gordon EetateH 1 was called, the members by one spontaneous impulse rose, and cheered most lustily." " The Bill is an abomination that would be a disgrace to the Statute Book,' I—The1 — The Hon J. MoGregor's opinion of the Old Age Pensions Bill. Melbourne City Connoil is taking stepa to run its own insurance business. The oaebier of the Newcastle Water Supply Board has a " turnover" of £22,000 annually, and gets a Balary of £90. The next examination for land surveyors under the regulations of the Land Aot, 1892, is fixed to be held on Maroh 29. 1898. " I wonder if it is really as dangerous sb dootors say to dye the hair ?" " Certainly 1 only more bo. I had an ancle who tried it, and he was married to a widow with six children m less than three months." It is stated that it will ooßt £400 to repair the Nelson reservoir, whioh has got into a •leaky condition. The father of a lawyer now well-known m San Franoisoo, was m hißlast illness talking with a olergyman, when the latter asked him if be bad made his peaoe with God, "Sir," replied the old gentleman, "the Lord and I have never had any trouble." After a fashionable wedding the other day the oarriage of the happy pair, whioh was on its way to the railway 'station, was delayed by the narrow street being blooked by two loads of cradles and baby waggons, to the great « usement of tbe spectators. Ah, Mr Timothy, said the city girl to the country poet, " and do you still court the muse 1" " Well, no, mum, replied Timothy blushing ; it's— it's Mary Hodge jes* now. Thad Btevens onoe had a colored servant m Washington named Matilda, who one morning smashed a large dißh at the buffet. " What have you broken now you d black idiot ?" exclaimed her master, Matilda meekly, responded : " 'Taint de fo'th comm*ndment, bresa de Lawd." Paul Stack, the deceased Maori oentenarian, on one occasion nearly killed bis auntie m mißtabe for one of the hopts of Te Bauparaba. This was about 1827. Both of them lived many years to recount the story aa to how Paora pinned her with a sharp-pointed stake while he oalled for a greenstone waddj to finish her off. Anyhow, the affair wound up by rubbing noses. A negro had been oonvioted of stealing obiokens, and sentence was about to be passed upon him. The old justice put on his glasses, and, taking great pains to look over the top of them, m an impressive manner eaid : " I find de pris'ner guilty, and I heahby sentence him to hard work m de jail fo' one yt-ar and nineteen months." The late Dr. von Stepban, postmastergeneral of Germany, one day, when he was on an inspection tonr, overheard an instrument m a local telegraph ( ffioe olioking his name. This is what he heard : " Look out for squalls. Stephan is somewhere on tbe line. He. will be poking bis nose everywhere." Tbe postmaster general smiled, and then went to tbe key and flashed back this reply " Too late 1 H.e has already poked his nose m here.— Stephan." Sydney Sunday Timeß on the Bey. F. W. Isitt ; — "This ia a very serious matter (the Orange, N.S.W. case) and unless Mr Isitt oan disprove this report— oan prove the emphatic detailed statement of ent Sanderson to be false — he must for ever . bide his head, or be prepared upon appearing before audiences of honest, conscientious people— who, whatever their oreed, adopt the first prinoiple of what should be the world's religion, common justice— to be overwhelmed by a storm of dontempt. ' An " Auld Kirk " man wbb being shown through the new United Presbyterian Church m a town m tbe West of Bootland, Gazing at tbe stars painted m tbe ceiling,* he inquired their meaning. '• Oh," was tbe reply, " you know what the book says 'He made the stare also* ?' " Weel," observed the man, '*ye ken the difference between your kirk and oora? It's this— you had your stars m the ceilin' and we've oors m the poopit."