BRIEF MENTION.

Marlborough Express, Volume XXXI, Issue 108, 12 May 1896, Page 2

BRIEF MENTION.

The bar ia bad, and both river boat: have mads their destination Pioton. Mr A. R. Wills, tb.3 we'l-known local, Auokland poet, is dead, " There is apparently little spirit shown bj tho young men of Pioton (quoth the Press) m forwarding any movement for tin gor.d of the town." Continued :— " They jampot a thing that is new for a time, but liko a obild with a toy scon get tired of it, Wo hope to ceo this altered." The Wellington ghost is frightening young women and children into ill*. The Times (which has Bpeotro on tho brain just now) cays it " jumps about like a monkey." Ik baa been " seen nightly by dozena of people, and yet not a eing.e pjliocman has ever oaught a glimpse of him." A young lady's story : — " It was on Tuesday night, about a quarter to 9 o'ebek, and ao a game cf cards was m progroas the Boullery door was opened and the apparition entered and stood looking at them." 44 What did it look l;ke ? -Well, of course I was too frightened to see very clearly, but I noticed it was dressed all m white, and appeared to have on a white euK of o'othos and a white cap on its head," "What happened then?— One of the gentlemen present made a dish at it, bat although he was very quick the ' ghost' had disappeared. Two gentlemen immediately followed it, armed with a rolling pin and tomahawk respectively, but found no opportunity of using these deadly weapons, as the apparition had made its escape." And this m the year of graoe 1896 1 Can such things be ? Mr Gheong cays that there ia more material m the great wall of China than m all the buildings of Great Britain. Mrs Margaretta Litohnsld, of Greymoutb, 13 applying for letters patent for an improved tea infuser. Mr Stead m the Be view of Reviews tries to make Me Geotl Rho3e3 next door to im-> maculate ; but he fails. The order is too large, even for Mr Stead, Mr R. Hull, stock inspootor of Wanganui (and well-known m Blenheim) who for some time past has been m indifferent health, has gone on a visit to the Hoi Lakes News from the dairy. -Girl: "Mother, there was a dead mouse m the milk-pail." Mother: " Well, didn't you take it out?" Girl : " No ; I threw tbe oat m." It is estimated that at our Universities about thirty-nine out of every forty undergraduates Bmoke. Another Chinaman bringing with him hie better half, has joined the colony of Oehs* tials at Greymouth. A shoemaker hung out a eiga as follows : " Don't go elsewhere to be cheated. Walk m here." He wondered what made the people on that Bide of the street so goodnatured all the afternoon. They were going to arrest him for bicyoling on tbe sidewalk, but he asserted that he was only learning. Then they " ran him m" for giving an aorobalio exhibition with" oat a lioenee. Wellington police court item : Counsel— 1 Now, Bir, listen to, and please give straightforward answers. You say you drive a baket'a cart?" "No, I did not." "Do you mean to tell me you do not drive a baker's cart ?" " No, Sir." What do you do then ?" " I drive a horse." As a specimen of the trifling oases whioh often waste tbe tim? of oar oourts, it may ba noted that Sheriff Campbell Bmitb, at Dundee, had to try one the other day m whioh the matter m dispute was a oraok three* eighths of an inoh long, ia a five shilling tobacco pipe. In a primary rchool the teacher undertook to convey to her pupils an idea of the use ot the bjphen. She wrote on the blackboard " bird's nest," and pointing to the hyphen, asked tbe school, " What is that for ?" After a Bhort pause, a young eon of the Emerald lele piped out, •• Pieaee, ma'am, for tbe bird to rooeht on," A Brooklyn man was thrown from his bicycle a few days ago while riding through Prospect Park m that oity. The verdiot of the dootors was that he was suffering from alcoholism. I( anybody wants to be " done to death" on short order all that he requires is to mount the steed of steel when alooholio liquors are mounting to hia brain. A worthy man who was very sensitive and retiring, having lost his wife, privately I requested that he might be remembered m the minister's morning prayer from the pulpit, bat asked that bis name might not be mentioned. On Sunday morning the good minieter prayed most eloquently for " our tged brother upon whom the heavy hand of Bore affliction has so lately fallen." At this point an elderly man, whom the minister had married to a very young wife during the week rose with a bounce, and stamped down the aisle muttering load enough to be heard all ever tbe chapel :— " It may be an affliction, but I'm blest if I want to be prayed for m that fashionJ "