COULDN'T REMEMBER.

Lake Wakatip Mail, Issue 3234, 3 April 1917, Page 2

COULDN'T REMEMBER.

" Rofore we were married,"' sobbed Angelina, ''d'<l you uot always call nie your little drop of cream?" " Well, you know, "answered Harold, "cream turns sour if you keep it long enough. I was a 100 l when I married you." "And didn't you tell me yon had plenty of money behind you?" asked Angelina. "That was correct. I lived in front of a bank," tlw wily Harold replied. "And you never take me out now," said the wee wifie. "Not s'neo you took me in," was Harold's cold rejoinder. "1 used to enjoy single life, but now 1 m that miserable 1 don't know jjivself until I feel in my empty pockets: then its easy to rememlier who I am." Mark Hambourg lias had many compliments paid to him over his brilliant Coliseum performances, but none nir*r than that handed to him by one of the stige hands, who went to him the day alter the first night, and said: Hamhoura, mv wife has always been considered to Ih> a line pian'st; but she was in the house here last night, and —well, we have decided to sell the piano and buy a. gramophone." Rosaries are at present being purchased in thousands by our soldiers in France as souvenirs for their relatives and friends at home, and the beads, which were formerly a monopoly of the religious repositories, may now be seen displayed iu every shop window, " Wc'l that's enough to try the patienoo of Job!'' exclaimed the village minister, 110 threw aside the local paper. . "Why, what's tho matter, dear? asked his wife. "Last Sunday I preached from the text 'Re ye, therefore, steadfast/" nnswere l the good man ; "bnt the printer makes it rend, 'Re ye there for breakfast.' "