AMERICAN SURF-BATHING.

Kumara Times, Issue 1353, 1 February 1881, Page 2

AMERICAN SURF-BATHING.

" Now, my dear," said Mr Spoppen- , dyke, as he stepped out of his bathinghonse and thuroped on the door of :th.e one occupied by Mrs Spoopendykej " are you ready ? We must hurry into the water and out again; or we' sha'n't get through in time for dinner." Mrs Spoopendyke emerged, bent almost double, and shivering with the cold. "Isn't it rather chilly?" she asked. " Not at all, Mrs Spoopendyke, nofe : atall } the air is rather cool, but tbevititet is warm. It you are going with* me| " you want to move along." As they reached tha beach, Mr Spoopendyke left his wife and boldly strode into the surf. A wave broke over himj'filling', his eyes, nose, ears, and fflbtirh, and. . then he strode out. " What're ye standing there for, eh ?" he demanded; " What do you take yourself fur—a ' lighthouse? Did ye come down here to take a bath, or are ye waiting. ; f.»r some ship to tie up to you ? What's the matter with you, any way ?" " I am afraid of the waves," whimpered Mrs Spoopendyke, " they're so big.'* " Oh, they're too big for you, ain't they?" retorted Mr Spoopendyke. " Wait till I get a man to saw off a little one. Better get measured for one to suit, hadn't you ? It's the big waves you want. I tell you. Look here !"—and Mr Spoopendyke marched boldly into the sea again. He turnedbis face towards the shore nnd beckoned to his wife. Another wave got him and rolled him over, pumped itself into his interior, drew hira under, whirled I him around, and finally deposited him howling on the sand, " Got most ready to get in ?" he jerked, out, as he climbed up and and assumed the per* pendicular. "Think I'm going to slam around here all day, like a waterspout, waiting for you ? What did yoit coma here for? Find any fun in standing there like a soda-water sign? Why don't you get into the water if you are going to ? Come on now." " I am afraid," whimpered Mrs Spoopendyke. "If I go in I I know I shall be drowned." "No, you won't get drowned either. Can't you hold on to me; What did you put on that elegant costume for if you meant to get drowned? What are you doing around here ? Now when I get in again, you come along or else you go home." Mr Spoopen* dyke plunged into the surf, but, as he came up, he missed the rope. For a second or two he sprawled around, and then began to yell. Mrs Spoopendyke eyed him for a moment, and then for her fear of him overcame her fears for her* self, and, with a yell, she dashed in and hauled him out by the hair. "Sheroot the water ?" choked Mr dyke. " I'm full of the measly stuff. So ye got in, did ye? Let go my hair,. . will ye ? Let go, I tell ye I What d'ye think you are, any way—a steam bar* ber's shop ? Going to let that hair go some time?" But, frightened out of all ; reason, Mrs Spoopendyke clung still and hauled Mr Spoopendyke to his bathing* house. " Oh, if I hadn't saved you !" she sobbed. "Oh, yes, you saved me, didn't you ?" sneered Mr Spoopendyke. " All you want is four air-tight com*

teartments and •.; A> seta of thole pins to to be a patent lyl-raft. Are you going to let go of that hair?" And as she Released him tsPy Went to their separate iapartrn'en'ts.

WESTLAND COUNTY COUNCIL.